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Are you drinking now ?

Any tips or advice to prevent a relapse, alternatively any of your stories about your own relapses.
pickles
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by pickles » 04 Feb 2019 09:31

Hello dianes10, welcome to Bright Eye . Is it possible for you to throw the rest of the drink away and what you have in the house maybe ? It's difficult though if your husband is drinking too . Perhaps have something to eat and stay online as much as possible . In the early days of Bright Eye, I kept on here as much as I could . Just tap out on here when you want and if things get too much ,there is an SOS thread :

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=595&start=11440

There should be other members who will hopefully post and give advice too . Stay well .
' Normal ' is just a setting on the washing machine .

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SoberBoots
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Feb 2019 09:39

dianes10 wrote:
04 Feb 2019 09:10
Morning everyone, yes I am drinking now and I am disgusted with myself. It is 9.00 in the morning. I am very fortunate that I have been able to stop drinking for a long time now. Basically at 60 years old, I cannot cope with the hangovers anymore. My husband not so fortunate as he cannot stop. He can go for a few weeks and one drink and he is on a 5 day binge.


He is the best man ever when he is not drinking, but I have taken so much verbal abuse over the weekend. We have lost our family and friends due to his drinking and don't know how much more I can stand.

Sorry for being such a misery on a rainy Monday.
Welcome to BE Diane. There's few of us, maybe no-one, who's got sober without a slip on the way. Despite very difficult circumstances, you've recognised that alcohol is damaging you and that yoi're addicted, and you've achieved a long period sober. So keep today's lapse in perspective <:)> Maybe you'd benefit for becoming a regular contributor on here, as the support available is excellent. It must be lonely at times living with a binge drinker, and being able to talk on here might get you through the tough time <:)>
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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Cliffe
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Cliffe » 04 Feb 2019 09:59

Hi Diane,

I'm new here too (a week or so) and can say that the non-judgmental support you get is great.

I agree with Pickles. Can you pour away the rest of your drink and spend until lunchtime reading the forum instead. Then have some lunch and see how you feel then.
Every time I see him put the bottle to his mouth he don't suck out of it, it sucks out of him until he's shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don't know him. - Ken Kesey.

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Lush4life
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Lush4life » 04 Feb 2019 10:36

dianes10 wrote:
04 Feb 2019 09:10
Morning everyone, yes I am drinking now and I am disgusted with myself. It is 9.00 in the morning. I am very fortunate that I have been able to stop drinking for a long time now. Basically at 60 years old, I cannot cope with the hangovers anymore. My husband not so fortunate as he cannot stop. He can go for a few weeks and one drink and he is on a 5 day binge.


He is the best man ever when he is not drinking, but I have taken so much verbal abuse over the weekend. We have lost our family and friends due to his drinking and don't know how much more I can stand.

Sorry for being such a misery on a rainy Monday.
Morning Diane , great that you've found this forum, lots of advice and support here!
Am thinking if you a morning drinker ( I was, also and much to my shame during the night !) You wouldn't maybe be advised to go cold turkey, there are threads on here about tapering, hard to do, well I couldn't tbh, was just a green light to drink for me!
In the end I had detox (3 times :oops: )
This helped me a great deal, whatever you decide, keep posting and have a good read around posts old and new, much am sure you will identify with.
Your husband another story my friend, gotta get you well first, take care x
Oooh sorry, just read your post again, can see you've had good sobriety, so please feel free to ignore some if not all😎 of what I've written, it comes from a good if somewhat confused place 😂😎
Well, you've met me now, this be me 😂
Sobriety is never owned ; it's rented
And rent is due Every day.

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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by dianes10 » 04 Feb 2019 12:26

Thanks for replying to my post. Even though I have drunk a bottle of wine this morning, I could give it up tomorrow. Go back 20 years and that would not be the case, this is what my husband keeps bringing up and feels he has a right to be the drinker now and give me a life of misery. I know I need to leave him, but at my age and, because of him, no family, I am terrified to do this.

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Jjjj of Old » 04 Feb 2019 13:09

That's a terrible situation to be in, Diane. It does sound completely unreasonable for your husband to use your past drinking history as an excuse for him to drink excessively. In fact, it is really no excuse at all.

Please keep posting here on this thread and wherever else you find helpful. You might also find some useful information and discussions in the Relationships section of the forum.

Again, best wishes,
Mark
Each day was a day I’d worked hard to progress. If I had a bad day [and] I was feeling slightly depressed, I'd say to myself, “Well, I’ve no right to let the ‘me’ down who’s got me this far. So, snap out of it! Go and read a book."
Robin Knox-Johnston

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SoberBoots
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by SoberBoots » 04 Feb 2019 13:44

I know I need to leave him, but at my age and, because of him, no family, I am terrified to do this.
Yeah, I remember being the same in long term relationships, petrified of being on my own and putting up with all sorts of shit. The thing is, if you KNOW that you need to leave, then do it. Start thinking about definite things: when, how, where. Once you take the big decision a lot of the agony goes out of the situation and it just becomes a series of practical problems which one cope with one at a time. I'm, like you, without family and have had a lot of rebuilding (and building from scratch) to do in my middle age, but I am really happy on my own now. I look back and wish I'd made changes years sooner than I did, and honestly it will be the same for you. <:)>
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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dianes10
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by dianes10 » 06 Feb 2019 16:13

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. Unfortunately, had a second day of drinking, I am sorry I didn't take your advice. All stopped now though. Husband still drinking, evidently last day today. We were supposed to be going away for a few days tomorrow (it will have to be a late start to get the drink out of his system (I don't drive) but am finding it hard to be enthusiastic about it. Promised there will be no drinking going on, but not sure if I can trust him.


He started crying this morning saying he hates himself and all the problems it has caused us. I made an appointment for the GP for him first thing who was very nice, but said he has got to help himself and offered councelling at a outreach centre. Well there is no way he will go to that and wont even come on Brighteye. Always says he can sort it himself.

If he hadn't been a fantastic husband and father for 30 years, I would not be here now, but can't forget what he was like before this evil stuff got to him.

Soberboots you were so brave starting again on your own, and I wish you all the luck. You are an inspiration. All of you on Brighteye are and I am so glad I found you.

martha
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by martha » 06 Feb 2019 16:25

dianes10 wrote:
06 Feb 2019 16:13
Thank you everyone for your kind replies.
How difficult for you Diane, I'm sorry :( I hope your husband does manage to reach out for support but your GP is right that he will need to want to help himself :( In the meantime do look after yourself as best you can and I hope the next few days away go okay.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.

dianes10
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by dianes10 » 06 Feb 2019 17:56

Thank you Martha x

serend
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by serend » 10 Feb 2019 21:59

sadly yes I am drinking now
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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essay
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by essay » 10 Feb 2019 22:18

serend wrote:
10 Feb 2019 21:59
sadly yes I am drinking now
Serend - just put it down now - minimise that horrible feeling you will have tomorrow

Get a big glass of water and go off to bed.

Post in the morning to let us know you are ok

<:)> <:)>
I am not giving up alcohol - I am gaining a hangover free, guilt free lifestyle

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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Bearedie » 10 Feb 2019 22:23

Hi serend,
We all know that it’s best to stop when you are in control.
Keep posting and all the lovely people here will support you.
You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending.

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Jjjj of Old » 10 Feb 2019 22:29

Hi Serend - sorry, I'm just seeing your post now. As Essay and Bearedie say, could you stop drinking now, just take a break and have some water?

You could go to bed, or just keep posting away here - whatever helps <:)>
Each day was a day I’d worked hard to progress. If I had a bad day [and] I was feeling slightly depressed, I'd say to myself, “Well, I’ve no right to let the ‘me’ down who’s got me this far. So, snap out of it! Go and read a book."
Robin Knox-Johnston

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SoberBoots
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by SoberBoots » 10 Feb 2019 22:48

Aww Serend, well done for posting. We're all here knowing what it's like. It's nearly 11 now, maybe brush your teeth and go to bed? New day and a new werk tomorrow.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.
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serend
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by serend » 10 Feb 2019 22:49

thank you thank you ,and sorry, i am ok.will stop shortly I am the one supposed to be in control and in charge here
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Jjjj of Old » 10 Feb 2019 22:52

No need to say sorry, Serend - we're just glad you're ok. Like you say, you are in charge. Stop shortly, and I hope you get a good night's sleep ;)? <:)>
Each day was a day I’d worked hard to progress. If I had a bad day [and] I was feeling slightly depressed, I'd say to myself, “Well, I’ve no right to let the ‘me’ down who’s got me this far. So, snap out of it! Go and read a book."
Robin Knox-Johnston

serend
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by serend » 11 Feb 2019 14:25

thanks for the support last night <:)> I stopped after red wine and rum, it could have been worse. I'm not going to hang my head and disappear, I am going to keep on trying to fight doing this, thanks again
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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Jjjj of Old
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by Jjjj of Old » 11 Feb 2019 15:01

Well done, Serend - firstly for stopping, and secondly for not giving up. Blips and bumps occur along the road, but you're totally right not to hang your head ;)? <:)>

Apologies for this but I'd never thought of a sporting analogy before: plenty of players or teams go behind... only to keep fighting back to eventually win. I've seen that with so many people on Bright Eye, who've had some slips or tough times but who have picked themselves up after a tumble and resumed fighting until they won. I can't believe I never thought of the comparison before - but it's so true! If you go 0-1 down, you could hang your head and accept defeat - or you can fight on and win 10-1 :D Well done for choosing the latter (::)
Each day was a day I’d worked hard to progress. If I had a bad day [and] I was feeling slightly depressed, I'd say to myself, “Well, I’ve no right to let the ‘me’ down who’s got me this far. So, snap out of it! Go and read a book."
Robin Knox-Johnston

serend
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Re: Are you drinking now ?

Post by serend » 11 Feb 2019 22:25

Lets fight on...I like it :) and will do !!!!
It's not inevitable whether we drink or not...we make the decision

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