New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

New Members thread, SOS thread, Daily chat and Support, Cutting Down, Abstinence and more.
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Trojan
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Trojan »

Welcome back Ollie ;)?

My last relapse was also during an otherwise really positive time, so I can relate to what you’ve described. It seems that some us have to test to destruction the theory that alcohol can enhance any part of life.

As you say, sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in it. Drinking is a prime example, and within a few days of sober time you will begin to feel better.

Beyond that it’s a case of maintenance, and it’s worth looking at some of the mainstream recovery approaches like SMART Recovery or LifeRing. Reading up on these helps to lay bare the false promises of drink, and can be really helpful as a guide and support through the changing stages of recovery.
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Oliver10
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Oliver10 »

;)? Trojan
Thank you very much indeed. I will look at SMART. I think it’s time I found support beyond myself. I have always found BE very supportive & helpful. Thank you Ollie
<:)> it's time to be kinder to those we love but let's be kind to ourselves

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

there is no reason apart from the reason being I am addicted to alcohol. It’s irrational behaviour; and the thing about irrational behaviour is that you can’t rationalise it. You just have to stop doing it.
Welcome back! You're spot on in your thinking. Getting support is crucial though, and so is developing your thoughts through reading. You can do this, so let's do it!
Last edited by SoberBoots on 30 Nov 2019 12:39, edited 1 time in total.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Oliver10
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Oliver10 »

;)? Thank you Soberboots
Very kind of you to write
It’s very helpful & encouraging to me
Ollie
<:)> it's time to be kinder to those we love but let's be kind to ourselves

Whisper
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Whisper »

Been dreading today ! Saturday night normally means a bottle of wine and I am beyond tempted! This is my sixth day free from alcohol and I don’t want to ruin it. For me I’m a binge non school night drinker. So this is feeling near on impossible. Had a difficult day, not feeling great and daughter has been a terror. But got to stay strong! I just keep thinking about tomorrow. :roll:

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Winkler
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Winkler »

U can do it whisper, you really can!
What time can u put your daughter to bed? Go to bed really early yourself if it helps, PJs on, clean sheets
Relaxation recordings can be really helpful and also reading stuff online
Steven Melemis is a good read ;)?
https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/
Truth waits for eyes unclouded by longing - Lao Tzu

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Whisper wrote:
30 Nov 2019 16:43
Been dreading today ! Saturday night normally means a bottle of wine and I am beyond tempted! This is my sixth day free from alcohol and I don’t want to ruin it. For me I’m a binge non school night drinker. So this is feeling near on impossible. Had a difficult day, not feeling great and daughter has been a terror. But got to stay strong! I just keep thinking about tomorrow. :roll:
Hang in there Whisper. You know you want to change your life, and this happens one step at a time. Nothing bad will happen if you don't drink. You may feel a bit restless and agitated, but there's other things you can do to calm that - long hot bath, PJ's, movie is a good formula. And a huge bar of chocolate! Cravings for drink are actually less overwhelming than we believe them to be, and they pass over of you don't engage with them but do something else instead. You'll thank yourself in the morning. And then you'll have got through a Saturday night sober, so it'll be easier next time - this is how the habit of sobriety is formed. Well done for getting on here and posting (::)
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Whisper
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Whisper »

SoberBoots wrote:
30 Nov 2019 20:28
Whisper wrote:
30 Nov 2019 16:43
Been dreading today ! Saturday night normally means a bottle of wine and I am beyond tempted! This is my sixth day free from alcohol and I don’t want to ruin it. For me I’m a binge non school night drinker. So this is feeling near on impossible. Had a difficult day, not feeling great and daughter has been a terror. But got to stay strong! I just keep thinking about tomorrow. :roll:
Hang in there Whisper. You know you want to change your life, and this happens one step at a time. Nothing bad will happen if you don't drink. You may feel a bit restless and agitated, but there's other things you can do to calm that - long hot bath, PJ's, movie is a good formula. And a huge bar of chocolate! Cravings for drink are actually less overwhelming than we believe them to be, and they pass over of you don't engage with them but do something else instead. You'll thank yourself in the morning. And then you'll have got through a Saturday night sober, so it'll be easier next time - this is how the habit of sobriety is formed. Well done for getting on here and posting (::)
Thank you to you both! Well I made it! Currently in bed without having one drop of drink. It wasnt easy. Kept thinking I was cheating myself by not drinking.. almost as if it’s my Saturday night so I should have drink. But nope stuck strong. Tonight gives me some hope that I can do this. Thanks for your support!

Oliver10
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Oliver10 »

Congrats Whisper (::)

I made it too
<:)> it's time to be kinder to those we love but let's be kind to ourselves

matt_candycrusher
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by matt_candycrusher »

Two reasons I drink are people being rude to me and drinking too much in my opinion being accepted more in the UK specifically Scotland than in other countries

smh1
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by smh1 »

Hello Matt and welcome to BE. You are among friends here we are all in the same boat so no judgement. We would all give you a hundred different reasons why we drank, and why we justified it to ourselves. But ultimately we all have to acknowledge that we drink because we choose to, it is an addiction, we can't control it but we can try to do something about it. Coming on here is a brilliant first step. Some folk go to AA or other face to face encounter groups, others go via the detox and rehab route, others with help from doctors but what we all on BE have is a determination to keep on keeping on trying to give up. If we try 100 times we will come back for the 101st time and give it our best shot and who knows that may be the one that cracks it!

Please take a look around the sites, post where and when you feel comfortable, maybe try a 7 day challenge or look for a tapering off site, you will find them all on BE. If you have been drinking a lot you might need to taper off or seek medical help but others will tell you more about that. I have tried numerous times to stop drinking in the past, this time I am 2.5 years sober, and believe me they have been the happiest times I have had in decades. It is possible to stop and to enjoy being stopped.

You are quite right in saying drinking seems to be so tolerated everywhere, but increasingly you will find people who choose not to drink at all, you certainly won't be the odd one out. As for people being rude, we all have to face difficult people in our lives, we sometimes sound off on here and get the support to laugh it off. I wish you all the very best in your journey. Sue <:)>
Keep on keeping on. It might be your last chance. :)

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Hi Matt, nothing much to add to what Sue said already, just wanted to welcome you. It's your choice to do something about your drinking, and you can make that decision regardless of what's happening around you.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Whisper
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Whisper »

matt_candycrusher wrote:
01 Dec 2019 12:37
Two reasons I drink are people being rude to me and drinking too much in my opinion being accepted more in the UK specifically Scotland than in other countries
100% I live in England and it’s such a bad binge culture at times. I was talking at work recently and so many of my colleagues drink every night. Which I know for some is ok... but still the fact we drink every day and it’s ‘normal’ is worrying. But got to focus on myself and my habit!

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ExiledHighlander
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by ExiledHighlander »

Hi (again!) everyone,

I've introduced and re-introduced myself on here a number of times over the last few years and it's that time again! :cry:

It's probably been a couple of years since I last felt I needed the support of this group and during that time my level of drinking has stayed pretty constant and probably well in excess of 100 units a week although I never get to the point of staggering or falling down drunk. I just drink too much and too often and I know it's not good for me (health-wise or financially!)

I'd love to be able to get to the point where I have a few (literally!) beers at the weekend instead of drinking a bottle of wine or more a day but given my nature and unhealthy relationship with alcohol I suspect that deep down I just need to be permanently AF and to stop drinking totally.

So, here I am again. Day 1 of the journey.
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." - unknown

"If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not, I don't need to." - Caroline Knapp

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

I just need to be permanently AF and to stop drinking totally.
Yep, sure sounds like it. Masses of support on here, whatever your goals, so it's great that you've come back and a pleasure to "meet" you.

What's your game plan?
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

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ExiledHighlander
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by ExiledHighlander »

My game plan is to get through today without drinking and then take it day by day. I need some space to figure out the gameplan and the first couple of days are always the hardest for me but once I get some momentum and get away from the "I'll stop tomorrow" mentality then I can make progress. I don't want to stop drinking but I know I need to. I know I'll sleep better, I know I'll be more productive, I know I'll lose weight.

Intro over yet again, so I'll head over to the challenges!
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." - unknown

"If I'm an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink. If I'm not, I don't need to." - Caroline Knapp

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Good plan EH, Things always are a lot clearer for a sober stint. Best of luck with the challenges.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Olyt
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Olyt »

Hi there.
I am now too. Not sure how to begin a new thread, but good luck on your journey!

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SoberBoots
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by SoberBoots »

Olyt wrote:
03 Dec 2019 15:57
Hi there.
I am now too. Not sure how to begin a new thread, but good luck on your journey!
Welcome Olyt! You don't need to start a new thread, just look around until you find a thread you want to join and then post on it. The 7 day challenge is a popular one for new joiners, or if you're up for a longer initial commitment then the 100 day one is busy too. There are places that you can post about your personal goals, or to say each day that you won't drink/haven't drunk. And the Road to Abstinence is great for reflection and insight.
The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is today.

Rowena
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Re: New Members - Please Introduce Yourself Here

Post by Rowena »

Hello everyone, new here just hoping I can do something about stopping drinking. Always been someone who trys to run away from my own thoughts as I am very prone to anxious thinking and alcohol seems to help with that but then it makes things worse and takes away your confidence to deal with anything. Even though I know all of this I just keep repeating the habit and it's gone on for far too long. I hope to feel strong enough tomorrow to stop but does anyone have any tips on stopping for good please?

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