Morning. I hope they talk went ok, Danny.
Luna, I try not to look at myself below the neck in mirrors anywhere. I don't think this is a good thing. I keep telling myself that I have never been happy with my body - always thought it was too fat even when I was probably underweight, and doubtless it's only going to get worse, so I should try appreciate what I have got. N.B. his is not a lecture at you, but at me. Meanwhile, I
do need to lose weight too. I have been eating like I
want to gain weight lately, and I daren't weigh myself. I have been contemplating a sugar fast, but I think that is partly leading to the daily pudding, biscuit/chocolate consumption. I am doing the old alcoholic always finding a reason not to give up... yet, and meanwhile consuming more than usual. Maybe I should just go on a calorie control diet

But that way lies OCD behaviour.
I blame my mother for some of this

She has always been obsessed with her appearance and still worries about being 'fat' at a chair-ridden almost-92.
Her two biggest compliments are to say I look slim (or slightly less complimentary - that dress makes you
look slim) or so and so is very clever.
I am not feeling very positive about things at the moment. Very down, anxious and tearful. No hormones anymore to blame. I am not sure if the corona virus and terrorist stuff are contributing to this, or if my mild depression is making these things feel more frightening than they need to. They are justifiable sources of anxiety, but if you live in and travel daily by public transport into a huge multinational, major tourist attraction, city you can't really afford to dwell on such things.
to do
work
maybe lunch out with writing, but not sure where to go. The go-to place has clearly burnt itself out with Veganuary junk food offerings and it's only vegetarian option is now a vegan burger
I am supposed to be going to some strange talk on mermaids. I fear it may turn out to be a bit of a new aged bo**ocks thing, but friend wants to go. It's vaguely related to work. I would rather just go home after work and do genealogy at the moment. I am very tired all the time.
try and be a bit more positive? I am not sure if I have the energy...
Sorry for emanating waves of negativity. I hope everyone else has a much more positive and cheerful day.