Are you trying to decide if you should stop drinking alcohol? Maybe you’ve already tried a few times to just cut down, and drink more sensibly like other people seem to.
There will be many different factors which contribute to your alcohol consumption, so in order to stop drinking so much, you might need to address some of these.
It may be stress or anxiety, depression or boredom, perhaps social pressure or relationship problems. If you can identify that you often drink alcohol in response to some of these, then your first step is to look for different solutions to these issues.
So how do you stop drinking? The first thing to look at is:
Consider your motivation for stopping
Why do you actually want to stop? What are the consequences of your alcohol consumption? Weigh up the pros and cons of your drinking, the costs versus the benefits (write them down here if you like).
- What are the negative effects of your drinking? Be honest here – look at your relationships, your health, job, self-esteem, depression etc.
- Next what are the good things you expect to happen when you stop drinking, how will your life be better?
- Finally what are the negative aspects of quitting? What is putting you off the idea? This is important because you will have to find some way to solve these concerns.
You need to be reminding yourself about this list of your motivations every time you think about having a drink. The next stage is to find out:
Are you physically dependent on alcohol?
For the sake of safety, if you are drinking all day from the moment you wake up in order to avoid your hangovers, then you will need some sort of medical supervision to help you through the detox. So if you’re drinking this much you should see your doctor before you plan to stop drinking alcohol. If you won’t do that, then you MUST try and cut down a bit before you stop completely.
So you’ve worked out why you want to stop, and if you can stop safely. Now what? You need to:
Develop a plan for how you can avoid those urges to drink.
Read our earlier article on coping with alcohol cravings first. It will give you a few techniques to help you. One thing’s for sure, will-power alone is not enough to stop you from drinking.
You need to work out what are your ‘high-risk’ situations, what are your ‘triggers’ that make you want to drink? Some of these can be avoided, so make plans as to how you can avoid them. For those that clearly can’t be avoided, you have to start thinking about how you can deal with them differently. Make your own relapse prevention strategy.
But what if things go wrong?
Ok, so it might not be as easy as all that (of course not), you may well slip and have a drink when you weren’t planning to. You haven’t failed, it’s just a mistake, you let that old habit sneak up and catch you unaware.
This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, this is where you might need the help of a professional. You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.
The same goes for your feelings, learning how you can cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.
You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. And of course, if you find that you need some help, try a therapy session.
day 5 now , its gone so fast this week . i hope i can do the weekend without any drink. im happy now .
Day 6 for me and sleep is definately getting better its so good not feeling like crap in the morning! I know what you mean about dreams John, I have had some great ones!
Early evening yesterday was a bad time for me, I was really irritable for about an hour it would have been so easy for me to pop out for a bottle of wine, but it got better after eating and I’m glad I didn’t. One thing i’ve found are the evenings are a bit boring especially as there’s only football and tennis on the box. Hoping that each day under my belt will give me more strength.
Take care all x
I realised a long time ago I have a problem with the amount I drink but I didn’t know what to do about it. I thought I was conquering it as I’ve managed to cut down but now I find I can’t go a night without a beer. This past week I’ve been very consious of this and even though my mind is saying No, No, No, my body continues to take the beer out the fridge and open it … and once I’ve started then I can’t stop.
And again in the morning I feel guilty and ashamed with myself. My boyfriend is brilliant and I know he’d be really understanding and supportive if I was to talk to him but I can’t bring myself to admit to him I’m so weak.
I’ve been reading the articles on here and I think if I prepare myself better I might have a better chance of doing this.
Does anyone on here relate to what I’m saying? And did you have planned “Stop” dates or did you just stop?
Hi i have been dry for 4 days felt really tired today. Have drank roughly 2 bottles of wine a night since i can remember. Got really high trigliceride levels caused by the booze so have had to stop. Doctor gave me some librium but only a few so worried about how i will manage when they run out hope it gets easier today was hardest you know bad day need a drink but i managed to get through.
day 4 , wanted some brew today as i had a bad car with customers car . it was hard to go past the offie , but once i got home the stress went . put kids to bed now im back on the coffee . i think i may have a play on thw wii to keep my mind busy tonight.
Good luck everybody.
John
Wow, reading the April posts is a blast from the past eh?!
any odd dreams with you mate , ive stopped for 3 days now and have 2 night of good 8 hours kip but many very very odd dreams , which have been quite funny and kept me thinking about them . no nightmares yet!! regards john
Hi John,
I had my first alcohol free day yesterday in about three years. The last couple of hours before I eventually forced myself to go to bed were quite a struggle but i managed it. The first hour or so in bed felt really strange, it’s like all my nerve endings were buzzing and my heartbeat felt totally erratic. I don’t think I had any proper sleep all night, just drifting in and out.
When I was in some kind of sleep state I experienced two nightmares running simultaneously, it was like seeing two films on screens next to each other. This seemed to last forever. I felt totally exhausted when I got up.
I’d settle for some funny dreams tonight for sure!
I’ve managed to get through today without a drink so far, but I’m starting to get twitchy now. Just got to keep trying. All the best. Dave
Hi Dave,
Any happy dreams yet? Didn’t drink last night for the first time in a long time. I had a high speed slide show of the last 20 years of my alcohol tainted life going on in my head for hours!! Woke up tired but not hungover.
Just wanted to hear how you have been doing since your last post.
All the best
jenm
I’m on my fourth day and I am so waivering right now. I have just got in from work and am so tempted to go and get a bottle of wine. I’m trying to keep busy but its all I am thinking of. I know if I do I will be back to square one tomorrow and I will feel so ashamed of myself. I have finally admitted to myself I am an alcoholic. I thought because I could function normally, hold down a good well paid job and was not falling down drunk all the time it did not apply to me, but it does. Words can’t describe the shame and guilt that I feel at this moment. I also have a really weird feeling knowing that I have finally admitted it although if I’m honest I have known in my heart of hearts for a long time. In all the years I have been drinking this is the first time I have actually come out and said it to myself. I always thought of myself as no more than a a social drinker.
I remember my son and daughter years ago saying we can never talk to you about your drinking because you get so touchy. I would give anything to turn back the years. I once spoke to a locum at my doctor’s surgery (my usual doctor was on holiday and there was no way I could discuss it with him) and he said just don’t buy it which didn’t help me at all and I have never discussed my drinking with a doctor since.
I cannot express what comfort I have taken from this website just to know there are people out there that have the same relationship with alcohol that I have and who are also trying to stop. Good luck to you all.
Good one Shooks. Sounds like your ready for a real shot at it. I, and others on this site can assure you that quitting drinking will turn your life around completely. Keep us up to date on your progress.
Good luck,
Don.
Shooks I am exactly the same. Yesterday I really strugged. I nearly gave in but I have to keep a really clear head at work at the moment because of certain things going on so that was one reason that stopped me. I went to my aerobics class and felt amazing afterwards and so pleased that my cravings had passed. Can you tell me your age? I have 2 young children and when you said that you wish you could turn back time and that your children used to say that they could not speak to you about drinking, I thought to myself that maybe me in a few years time. We are in this all together so lets continue to support one another.
Hi all
I am not sure what has happened to the site but it seems a bit muddled and i have had a lot of trouble getting an up to date posts. Unfortunately at the weekend i fell of the wagon! So disappointed because I was feeling so good as well. So today is day 3 again. Danny I really think you need to get some help since you already have a bad liver and if it is bad now it will be worse if you continue and irreversible if you carry on. If you have a fatty liver then you can recover from this but you have to do it now before permanent damage is done. You are only 18 and have your whole life in front of you.
Hi Kel,
I was told that their server was down, but now we have a chunk of April displaced. Sorry to here about your “stumble”. Just try again, but continue to post, it’s important.
Good luck to you,
Don.
Sorry, we had a couple of messages that people couldnt post at all, because the database isnt really designed to handle over 1500 posts on a single article. As such we deleted the oldest thousand posts to free the system up a bit. It might take a moment for it to regain its balance, but give it a day or so.
Aaah thanks Don, I appreciate it. Again, feeling great, exercising, eating well same old story, just wish the ending was different! I know I am the only one who can change it. Will keep trying.
Anybody there? I’m off camping ’til Monday. Have a dry weekend everyone.
Don.
will do , im sure , enjoy yourself mate.
i can go five days wiithout a drink then the weekend comes and i realy badly need one i also do have a bad liver at the moment and i have been told to stop or i will die i drink about 36 beers divided between fri/sat and sunday i no my livers bad but i cant stop im only 18 as well i have been drinkin 3 litres of cider a day since i was 15 n thts 3 litres a day even more without fail n i have got betta cuz i do only drink on fri/sat n sunday but the docter reckons even 8 beers a week iz still not gd n im drink 36 please give me advise enough respect for you and other people who have been able to kick this shity habit called fukin alcohol i really dont wanna die from liver disease however u spell it
Kin ell dan thats a lot , i used to do about 50 pints a week when i was your age but i always ate a good ammout of good food as well . have you been to the doctors yet? i think you have have to detox , i dont think you can just stop snap quick . but you must try to cut down in the meantime mate. you have to change your whole lifestyle from now . be stong fella , take care and keep in touch.
How are you doing Dan ?
I just thought i could tell you how i was going each month but certain people are bullies, (they know who I mean) on this site. So I am going for good. I do them more damage by going than they realize. Bust of luck everybody
Glyn
Bye Glyn.
Hi, I am a stop start drinker. I don’t wake up in the morning craving the stuff, but when I have quiet times on my own, stressful situations or generally dislking myself then I think ‘what the hell’ and so the spiral goes. It numbs the situation, relaxes stops me thinking too deeply and just seems to help. I know it doesn’t and I have giving in and just like so many of you it’s the – one won’t hurt – everything in moderation crap I keep telling myself.
Today is my first day and even though there has been so much stress today, I managed to block out the ‘go on – you deserve it’ urge.
I want my self control back – I hate what stares back at me in the mirror. Have considered hypnosis. Anyone have any views on that!!!
Hi, I’ve been reading through everyone’s posts with great interest. Thats because I’ve finally made myself realise that I need to address my problem too. I’m 34 and have two great kids. I’m on day 2… I’ve finally given myself the telling off I feel I have needed, from other people it just makes you think (or definatley me) ye, whatever, then grab a drink (or many). I’m fed up of feeling like utter rubbish, I want to have my engergy levels back, have a ‘normal’ life and enjoy it to the max. It’s early days of course and maybe I am trying to run before I can walk but having the stubborn nature I have I’m hoping that focusing like this will keep me more determind to stick with this for good. Guess I’ll stick around if that’s ok to read/post/chat. GL to everyone else on their journey’s. From what I’ve read it’s a bumpy ride and from trying in the past I know I’m going to have my weak times and sleepless nights. I just really really really have to do it this time.
Excellent post Bev!
Forgot to mention. I had a great experience this weekend.
Since camping started in May, I’ve had more than a few glances and the occasional snicker when I’ve shown up for a social event with a Perrier or a ginger beer. On Saturday night at the darts tournament, I was approached by
one of the “snickerers” and asked “how’d you do it man?”, do what?, “quit drinking”. We chatted for about an hour. He’s going to “give a shot”. Cool huh?
Maybe we can make quitting infectious(sp)?
Don.
RoyBoy, sorry to hear about England, but glad you were kidding about having a beer(great headline Arunas!). I see you caught Glyn plagiarizing someone elses work……well done, I also thought it sounded too advanced for him based on his previous comments.
Don
I have been drinking for the last 10yrs and its now got to a point where it is distroying my life. My family, friends and partner hate me drinking as I turn into a completely different person, I have been to the doctors and he is going to send me to see someone about it being Borderline Personality Disorder, I am scared as not sure what the outcome will be, I am not dependant on alcohol, its when I start thinking about stuff I feel the need to have a drink but then it dont stop at one, I just carry on!!
Hi to everyone. im 38 years old and have been drinking since i was about 14 years old on and off . For about the last 6 years i have been drinking every night, i do about 4 cans of special brew at a time. in may i stopped for 2 weeks which is the longest ever that i can remember. I can do upto 3 days but always go back . its driving me crazy . i want to stop today , forever . my health is getting worse and ive had a beer belly for many years . im married with 3 young children under 5 years old and want to get fit again as i cant keep up with them in the park etc as im now 16 stone at only 5ft 8in..ive read a lot of the posts on here and take a lot of information . i wish everyone goodluck . im going to start from now , last drink yesterday when England got knocked out of the world cup , a good starting point.
Good for you John.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. There is a lot of help here.
Read back through all the posts on this site, you’ll find you can relate to many people who have dealt or dealing with this nasty affliction.
Good louck,
Don.
ps. When I quit, I weighed 200 lbs @ 5″8″ I’m down to 164 and my blood pressure is almost on the low side.
Hi Don. im feel great . 3 days with no drink and i hope i can keep it up ! The first two days i felt sick and a bit grumpy. now im ok, and at half 11 pm im still awake as before i would be pissed and asleep on the sofa .
I changed my habit. i would before on the way home from work i stop at the offie to get my cans and when i got home i would park in my drive and down 2 cans of 9% brew before i even got in the house , then i would sneek out and do the next two within the next hour . so im doing 20 units in one hour .
I work for myself and get paid cash , so now i pay my money into the cash machine on the way home . when i get home i go stright indoors and grab a coffee and do anything to take my mind of the drink. also i found two full cans in my car boot today so i put them in the bin . i know the buggers are there to stay. i didnt want to empty them down the sink because the sweet smell with send me back . many regards. john..
Hi
I have just found this site at a time I feel at my lowest. I feel ashamed. I have no idea why I choose to drink, on the outside I seem to have a nice life. I have the most beautiful son in the whole world, I have worked the same job since I left school 20 years ago, I have a nice home……….why do I do what I do????? …………….
When I was younger I was always shy and lacking confidence. I think alcohol was a crutch which has now gotten out of control. Sorry I’m not good at this. I just feel so lethargic. I just want to be the person I used to be. xx
Hi Shari, we are all trying to conquer the poison, so keep reading the post and hopefully we can all help each other. Good luck and welcome.
Hi Shari , i can understand you . i was the same as a child , very bad upbringing by father was always drunk and i was sent to an approved school where i started drinking at 14 as i hated everyone and myself . now i have my own business , wife 3 kids nice house etc, so now i ask myself why do i still drink i should be happy and enjoy my life at 38 years old .
I went to a funeral the other week and all i could imagine was ME in that wooden box dead from booze and my wife and kids at my funeral … because im sure my body cant take much more . i wish you much luck .
Regards.john
My mother in-law was given Antabuse when she stopped drinking at the end of last year. We made a pact to stop drinking together, so that we could support each other. She is now drinking again and I am not. Now I’m not saying that Antabuse is a bad idea, but at the time I did think that she was relying on something else to stop her drinking, rather than it being her decision.
Arunas is absolutely right about having to be conscious about our decision making. We are in control of our choices and I felt that my mother in-law was shying away from those choices but taking the view that “I can’t drink because I’m on Antabuse”. As soon as the prescription finished, she very slowly started drinking again and now after 6 months she’s back where she started.
I personally feel that she wasn’t ready to stop. If Antabuse helps then great, but you need to be sure in your heart that you want to stop drinking.
Hey Roy Boy, what about this headline ‘Oh Boy, English miss four, but save Roy’;)
Scottie, is Antabuse some sort of drug?? I suggest you make fresh start again, – drungs don’t work if you dont have the right attitude about quitting. I suggest reading Leo’s post some two months ago, the guys was reaching for a beer at home and posting his thoughts here at the same time, eventually he flushed it in the toilet… I mean, it was difficult to him, it was difficult to us, but he made it…but quitting requires a lot of efforts and conscious decisions every step you take. You enter the shop – Will I buy booze? You are at the counter, – will I pay? You are leaving the shop – will i Just through the bootle away, – You are at home – Will I open, will I pour, will I drink… no actions goes by without making a decision on what to do next, – we just have to be more conscious about our decision making and understand that we are in charge…
Hi there, antabuse is metronidazole a drug actually used as an anti-parasitic. It has a dreadful effect with alcohol so is used either as a tablet or a skin implant to help people stop. Arunas, I really liked what you have written re the internal dialogue about ‘will I wont I’. It is useful as I have found I have become more conscious of the patterns and in a funny way, I am getting bored with the internal chatter. Mine at the moment is always around day 3. OK I haven’t had booze for 3 days so I am safe to have some blah blah blah. Like I said, getting bored with it now.
Hi Juliet , just to add that i always used to get that 3 day effect . i could go one then two days ok , then day 3 i would fell so good that i would drink again.
Today is day 3 again and i feel great , 14 days is the most ive done in many years. i think im on top now. many regards and good luck . John
Morning all, had a great day yesterday at the Royal Highland Show in Edinburgh and for some reason thought drinking last night would be the perfect way to end a good day.
How wrong I was.
Woke up this morning, depressingly back on day 1, in a wet bed.
Has anyone been on Antabuse? This is looking like my only option just now for quitting – I can’t do this.
Scottie, This is a very delicate time for you, but you have an opportunity to quit drinking for good. Maybe write a list of all the reasons to stop drinking and carry it around with you, it could help you. You are going through a process at the moment, but don’t give up, draw strength from it and learn from it. Get up and dust yourself off and try again. You can do it.
We are all here for you. You can start again. A setback is a setback, not the beginning of a bender. You did it, it is done, and now you move on. You can!!
Hello all and back after the political arena – me completely sober until last night and prior to that, lost my temper – I almost never lose my temper. In fact the last time was about 9 months ago and I drank after that but prior to the situation had been not drinking much at all……’blood spilt’ etc. Yes Arunas, we can always find an excuse but I feel OK today. Nancy, re anxiety/panic etc you are right for sure but some of us have this regardless. Until I was about 45 I suffered panic attacks (family history of such) and no way shape or form linked with alcohol (e.g. working in countries where alcohol was forbidden). I just want to make the point we cannot make the same diagnosis about these effects. My fall-back position is always exercise and there are some who respond well to this and others not so. And Glyn, ALL fear is mental, fear is an emotion. In our nervous system we have two core reflexes (a) to feel safe and (b) to feel pleasure. Over our lives we wire our brains and take actions to respond to these two key drivers….see the link with booze? I read something recently that hit home “imagine never being sober again?” That is really scary isn’t it?
Thats right all fear is mental, its what causes that fear that I am trying to get at. When you quit drinking alcohol you go through psychological withdrawal, you will feel anxiety, which is a type of fear. I am not talking about psychological withdrawal. I am talking about the fear of not coping with life without alcohol, which people suffer BEFORE you quit drinking alcohol and its the only reason people carry on drinking alcohol. They believe that they will not enjoy life or cope with life without alcohol and this fear they suffer before they quit and after they quit. Its the only reason they carry on drinking alcohol. This fear is caused by your beliefs. Hope this explains what i mean.
You are right about this one and there have been quite a few exchanges of opinions about life without booze (and the initial feeling bad about it) in previous posts. I personally prefer to give it a different name, – maybe anxiety, nervousness, but not fear… I was kind of feeling sorry about loosing this friend of mine, biding farewell to those noisy parties and all the crazy stuff associated with drinking. For me it was a major shift and actually I felt a need to recreate myself/build my new self in a world without booze. Reinventing your onw personality, finding new ways of enjoying life, refusing some things deliberalely is a major change but Id say it’s more anxiety than fear. I guess one of the possible startegies for people who want to come off alcohol is to give it some deep thought before they quit f.e.x 3 days (what Im gonna do, what will be my strategiesm, what are the benefits, pitfalls and advantages) because suddent quitting leaves many people with too many questions like – what now, what shall I do tonight, etc, etc.
Hi I have been off the drink for 10 days now but don,t feel much better still feel shaky and have quite bad stomach pains is this normal I,m determined to stay off it but find myself thinking a couple of drinks will make me feel better
I was quite surprised to get this slight shaky feeling around similar period of time (10 days- two weeks) down the road.. must be booze leaving your body combined with slight nervousness about the future but it’s proven fact that booze leaves the body in 2 weeks time completely so no wonder you the body is stressed feeeling this change – not getting something it was used to getting for so long… I can guarantee you – shaking, tremmbling etc will be gone pretty soon
thanks arunas hopefully only another couple of days of this then and the booze will be out my system completely
Hi, drank on day 7 (Friday) – now on morning of day 2. Hangover/anxiety/lack of sleep last night was awful – a total example of why I need to stop for good.
Have a wedding to go to on Saturday which will be day 8 on this stretch – need to stay strong and think of last night when I feel like a drink – cannot cope with hangover on an aeroplane flight next Sunday.
So fed up with throwing good work away and being back to square one all the time – need to try AA again or something – can’t seem to do this alone.
Keep up the good work Pete, take care all.
I managed a couple of days and then spoilt it. I am feeling really down at the moment and can’t believe I was so stupid. I was feeling so positive after reading all the posts. I’m going to start again today. One of the problems is now I’ve decided I definitely want to stop all I think about is drink. Good luck to everyone and well done Pete.
Good decision! You will be going though diffrrent stages as you progress, finding sobriety, being tempted to have ‘just one’ because you are strong now, you will comtemplate being a responsible drinker, you will have cravings, you willl want to give up the game, but I can assure you that there is a light in the tunnel at the end, and the fact is all of those turbulations will be a thing of the past and there will come a day when you will start perceing yourself as a non – drinker… persevere!
Day 6 and hanging in there, a little tough on my first weekend but I will manage. Very tired and not sleeping well, although, that seems par for the course.
Pete, that’s amazing! For me pulling through the first two weeks was the toughest, because you are doing something radically different, get this slight irrritation of not knowing what to do with the extra time and feeling strange you are not doing something you have been doing for quite a while…sleep will come back to normal, but be ready for binge eating.. I remember devouring sweets like a monster two months down the road, but it’s back to normal now;)… other simple things that need to be reminded are: no booze at home, telling other people you are quitting and asking their support and understanding, not exposing yourself too early to trigger situations, positive frame of mind (for me it took about three month until I started treating me as a non drinker) +6 days down the road and you are a role model for the newcommers already, so please do share your experiences with others, and try to give as much support as you can, from my experience on this site (5 months now) I can tell that the more you give back to the community the more you are likely to stay booze free, – look at RoyBoy, Don, etc, they used to contibuted nearly every day and that’s a part of has helped staying focused (Roy Boy, Don, – correct me if Im wrong;)))
just a quick observation on one point which has not been touched/analyzed deeper yet? Have you oberved the lingo used in some instances to justify drinking (combined with the big excuse of problems at work). The words include – gruelling day, bad times, rough patch at the moment, blood was spilt (during a meeting), etc.
I think it is difficult for most people who have a drink problem to accept the fact that they will never be able to drink again. I can totally understand, after all we all love to drink. We love the buzz- that moment of laughter, happiness and enjoyment it gives us. It lures you into a false sense of well being and people find it hard to let go of that. Alcohol is everywhere! Most social gatherings are revolved around drinking. You meet your mates at the pub, football match=beer, Weddings and anniversaries =champagne, dinner for two= a good bottle of wine and so on. There’s drink for every occasion. No wonder a life without booze seems pretty grim BUT you have to stop for your own good. Over the last few years I’ve seen many people I know (aquaintences at the bars I used to frequent) die of alcohol related illnesses. When you are younger your body can take the battering you give it. I’ve noticed in other people that the damage you do to yourself starts making itself known round about the age of 50/55. Most of the people that I knew where that age. It just crept up on them and they didn’t even know they were so ill until it was too late. That started to get me thinking. A life without alcohol is not as bad as you think. You get used to it and after a while and it just becomes normal not having a drink. The quality of your life will drastically improve just you wait and see!
I would not do that if I were you RoyBoy. You are doing so well, so why spoil it? You are talking yourself into thinking it’s alright to drink when it’s not! You have a drink problem and once you have given yourself permission to drink one, you’ll have another. That thought then changes into, I’ll just get drunk tonight and then I’ll get back on the wagon tomorrow. How many times have you done that? You do not need that beer. You have proven to yourself that you can live without alcohol. Don’t fall into the trap again.Think of the way you were. Do you want to go back to that again? Think of how much better you feel now. That should be enough to persuade you.
To all the others who talk of anxiety and panick attacks. Rest assured that your drinking does have a lot to do with that. You need to abstain from alcohol for a relatively long time before you will realise this. A week or two is not enough to decide whether it is the drink or not. When you give up alcohol of course you anxiety will be bad. You are denying your body of what it’s been used to having for quite a long time. You probably haven’t been eating properly and your body is lacking in vital vitamins and minerals. This too causes anxiety. Even if you do eat good food, alcohol totally cancels the benefits.
When you stop drinking, you need to avoid all situations where you might be tempted to drink. Yes, your social life will take a battering, but it will be worth it in the end. Find a drink that will become a substitute. During the winter I drank herbal tea. Twinings Purity and green tea which are both very good for you. In the summer I like to drink ice tea. I started taking Two cod liver oil, two milk thistle( tests have proven that milk thistle helps detox your liver) and a multi vitamin every day. (I still do) I cut out all junk and sugary foods. I eat lots of fresh fruit and veg and drink lots of water. I feel great! I don’t have panick attacks anymore and my anxiety has dropped drastically. My panick attacks where that bad that I even had the doctor fooled into thinking I was having a heart attack. He gave me an asprin (they give this to thin your blood) and then called me an ambulance! My blood pressure was through the roof and my heart was jumping all over the place. All this has gone now I don’t drink anymore. I started to go out after about 4 months and most of the time don’t have any urge to drink at all. Every now and again I will think for one split second maybe I could have just one beer, but I don’t and I banish it from my mind immediately. I will not risk it! I have given up alcohol quite a few times for very long period of time and believe me never have that ‘just one drink’ You will be sorry you did. You will see that most of your problems, anxiety, panick attacks and paranoia will disappear along with the booze if you just give yourself enough time to prove it to yourselves.
Thank you for your posts, Nancy! I’m going to save them so I can read them when I feel like a drink in the future. I’ve not managed more than a few days for years now until just recently when I went nearly a month without. I’d had a really gruelling spell with work and promised myself a drink when it was over. When it was over I really felt I didn’t ‘need’ a drink but talked myself into it anyway. I’m now back to day 3 today. In the back of my mind somewhere I hope/believe I can have a social relationship with alcohol in the furture. Having followed this site and taken on board what all of you have said I know this is not the case. I will keep reading posts as a reminder. Thanks again to everyone I’m feeling strong today.
Nice post, I enjoyed reading it, you are right about Royboy, the problem with him is he can’t except that he can never drink again and he doesnt want them bridges burning, and my posts, burn them bridges for good. Once he understands how alcohol works and how the Alcohol trap works, he will not be able to go back and thats the reason hes against my post. The reasons he give, are just a red herring ( concerning my posts ). You are so right about alcohol giving you anxiety.i have quit alcohol for ever and i am happy about it.
You are absolutely right Nancy, thanks. Luckily I don’t have to find out if I would have had a beer or not, as we’re out of the World cup now. There was an element of jest in my post and I don’t think I would have had a beer.
Seriously, both of you, either e-mail each other personally and hash it out, or just stop. This is getting really annoying and taking away from the overall message of this site, which is HELPING EACH OTHER.
I have just joined this website today and i have drink propblem that is affecting every part of my life. I just want my life back and to feel normal and in control.
I am a 51 year old single female and think drink has really messed up my life. What i would like to know if i should try to cut down. Please advise
If England win the World Cup, I’m going to have a beer! I think I’m quite safe, but you never know :op
Careful! Miracles do happen!
Maradona said he would be running in the central square of Buenos Aires naked;))…
Sorry bout the two posts earlier. Make a mistake with my email address and thought first one didn’t get posted! I’ve done day 1. No more opportunity for getting booze and feeling good about it! Funny how I can feel good now but yesterday was determined to get drunk. Also I hate when I don’t even want to drink and do! Today good so hopefully tomorrow too – I think, Liz, it’s feeling awful on day 2 which makes it hard to say no. It was work pressures that made me drink after my 28 days recently so good luck Juliet whith your new approach. It’s a great goal so stick with it. Pete congrats with day 4! I found I got stomach aches on about day 8 so be strong!
You have done great so far Mary-Anne, just a minor slip, you can do it again. I am on day 5 and feeling great. No real craving apart a thought about it the other night. I do the same as you, feel strong then next minute find myself drinking for no reason when i was adamant that I wasnt going to then next day, feeling tired, the whole cycle begins. You need to break that cycle. Well done to Pete on day 4 and everyone else even by coming on this site means that you want to change your life and do something positive.
Hi Kel. Day five! that’s great. For myself, day five was the turning point. Things got progressively better after that, with the exception of sleep disturbances which are sometimes still a problem.
All the best,
Don.
Thanks for your encouragement Kel. Feeling strong today and looking forward to my day 5!! Well done you!
im also on day 5 ,its half 7 and im still sober . i need to sort my mind out tonight
i may take a walk down to the beach for a bit , and leave my money behind so i cant be tempted to pop in the pub. the beer belly is slowly going down which gives me a lift . good luck with the weekend everybody ,
John
Hey Nelly and Scottie, thanks for the kind words. I am on day four and holding strong, although, its a litte bit harder with my wife and daughter out of town, but maybe its better this way. No withdrawls yet and not sure if I will get any….hoping not.
Good luck and thanks
Day four—awesome Pete. You can do this—don’t give in to the temptaions that may come. Keep yourself busy with other things. Best of luck to you.
I feel lousy today but feel this is my new day one. Do hope everyone has been doing better than me. Juliet, Shooks how are you doing? Huge thanks to RoyBoy, Arunas, Don etc for continued support and advice. I know I can do this! Until I found this site I had no one to give me support. Good luck everyone.
Hi Mary Ann – me doing well and feel encouraged after I shared with a friend who has similar patterns to me. That is drinking for social pleasure feel fine about that then there is the use of it as a coping mechanism or to ease pain/loneliness………of course the lines are blurred (and can get blurry:-)). Him off to yoga classes and me looking at other evening pursuits. Me bracing myself for 2 days of intense political battles and finding a way to avoid the after meeting meetings to do the real business. In fact I have a nasty adversary who will have 3 beers followed by several scotches. My plan is to just listen to the drunken rave in the evening then play him like a cat with a mouse as I will be clear headed the next day and he will feel like rubbish. For those who have followed my story, I though end of May was the last one but no – got called in for the final fling in the political arena this weekend. I made it clear this is my last round and it will be in a blaze of glory instead of being burnt at the stake. I have also organised things that I do not succumb and allow another round of this nonsense.
I feel the same as you do today. I have trouble getting past day 2 without alcohol.
Hi guys – do hope you are all doing better than me. Feeling down today but think this is the new day 1. Don’t know why yesterday couldn’t have been I didn’t even want to drink but I did. Hope you made it ok Shooks! Juliet? Kel? Hope it’s going well.
Huge thanks again to RoyBoy, Arunas, Don etc – you really do give me hope. I recently went almost a month – I can do it again!
Its been 5 months off alcohol, 23rd January was my last drink.
To understand withdrawal you have to understand the Automatic Nervous system, which is divided into two parts.
1,The sympathetic nervous system which initiates the stress response.
2 The parasympathetic nervous system which induces the relaxation response.
So you have Neurotransmitters that take you into stress response and Neurotransmitters that brings you out of stress by relaxing you. they work together,
When you drink alcohol which is a depressant it relaxes you, because its identical to the relaxing Neurotransmitters, the body thinks I have to many relaxing Neurotransmitters so I will stop making so many of them. When you quit drinking alcohol you have to little relaxing Neurotransmitters because alcohol has gone from your body, which means to many stress Neurotransmitters. This speeds your heart up, you have too much Glutamate and adrenaline going around your body. This reaction is called withdrawal. Withdrawal really is a type of Acute/Chronic Stress, you have no relaxing Neurotransmitters to relax you.
What people dont understand is when you quit alcohol, people who are dependant on it, will fear coming off at the mention of quitting. They are in a panic and completely consumed by the thought of quitting, even before they quit. This is real fear. I am not talking about Physical and psychological withdrawal here, its the fear of not coping with life without alcohol, I will call this mental fear
So when you quit alcohol you must add together the withdrawal and the mental fear as well. The withdrawal would cause stress (speeds your heart up) and the mental stress would speed your heart up as well, resulting in Physical, psychological withdrawal symptoms.
If you had your mental fear removed before you quit, which means less stress, your heart would be going slower, which means less Physical withdrawal symptoms. This is why I hardly had any physical withdrawal symptoms because I had my fear removed before I quit alcohol, and the mental fear is the biggest part of the stress when you come off alcohol. Hope this helps to explain Alcohol withdrawal better.
Do you have any of your own thoughts Glyn, rather than constantly regurgitating a book?
If people want to read the book then they will, you don’t have to keep posting content from it. Don’t you get it?!
I am not answering any of your rants anymore, These are my thoughts and views, Royboy.
This time I don’t agree with you RoyBoy, our friend Glen isn’t even referring to THAT BOOK but just telling some experiences that may be valuable. HEY, I’m still here, but sort of repeating my experiences – doesn’t seem interesting for others. Up and down and up and down. I’ll only start posting seriously again when there’s a real change to be mentioned. Meanwhile, I wish you all the very best in your battles!
Sorry Glyn, I was wrong to write that, no offense intended.
It would just be nice to read something straight from your heart, how you’re feeling etc, rather than from books or websites. The reason I say this is that I googled the content of your post and found it on the stresshelp website.
So, I was actually correct that they are not your thoughts, they’re someone else’s that you happen to agree with. This is fine obviously, but that was the point I was trying to make. It would be nice for the real Glyn to open up a bit, rather than regurgitating other sources.
I dont agree with you Royboy, you insult my intelligence. If you have nothing positive to say to my posts, then don’t leave any replies please because they aren’t helpful to anybody.
I’m not an expert of the nervous system, etc, but I guess your assumption about withdrawal symptoms (including physical/mental ones) being the result of fear of quitting is misleading.
* “They are in a panic and completely consumed by the thought of quitting”. I guess it’s wrong – I believe most people who are quitting are making a conscious decission and are not captives of fear. Quittting is a big step and a big change, only a robot would not be ‘consumed’ by it. So it’s just natural to think about the process one is goig through.
* “I am not talking about Physical and psychological withdrawal here, its the fear of not coping with life without alcohol, I will call this mental fear ”
Are a new CGJung or smth. Is mental fear different not a part of the psychological withdrawal? Everything that hapens in a man’s mind is a part of his/her psychology so coing new terms such as mental fear and treating them as separate from the rest of human psyche is misleading.
* “If you had your mental fear removed before you quit, which means less stress, your heart would be going slower” – totally agree on stress, heart rate, but tell me how you dealt with this yourself. Do you have a “mental fear” button, which you switched off? ‘Removing mental fear’ is already a part of quiting and pondering on the outcomes, changes etc (which may result in what you reffer to as ‘fear’) is just a natural part of the process. In other words you can not remove ‘fear” (which you equate to thinking) before you stop, you can only remove it as you go on.
+ I m not sure if quitting and ‘fear’ can cause long term stress, increasing ones heart rate.
Michelle, I am in a position where I am struggling with anxiety/depression, however, the doctor does not want to give me any medication to combat it till I have a period of abstinence from alcohol. This is to establish whether the alcohol is the cause or if it’s there even when I’m off the drink.
Unfortunately, it is there whether I drink or not and I’m hopefully going to get some medication from him tomorrow as it will be day 6 of sobriety and I’m feeling no better. (I see the doc tomorrow). I am so tempted to drink tonight – I have a bottle of Buckfast and cider in the cupboard which I bought on Saturday but somehow managed to stop myself from drinking – I need to ceremoniously pour it down the sink or something, it’s calling me.
I think I have a chance of conquering anxiety/depression without alcohol – but not a chance if I keep turning to the drink.
Take care and stay strong everyone.
Courage Scottie…….you are doing well and the doctor is right regarding looking for the cause before medication. It must also be a bit disheartening that you have abstained, feel no better so you fear the depression and anxiety has other roots. Even though my past experience was like Michelle’s and I had to stop medication, it did give the head space to deal with some things that were triggers for it all. It turned down the volume of the negative internal chatter. I wish you well – I have not touched the wine this evening and will not do so. Hang in there with me…..
Hi Scottie- thank-you for replying to my post! I was feeling a little invisible for a bit. I have General Anxiety Disorder, and I am also dealing with post-traumatic stress syndrome. Gag. What did people use to call this stuff 100 years ago besides crazy? Ha Ha. Anyhoo- My doctor put me on Pristiq- not working for me. because as always, suffering from the side effects. (You would think as an alcoholic I could handle more, but nope). I have decided to tackle the anxiety without drugs, but if you are talking to your doctor, Pristiq is a good choice for people with alcohol issues as it is absorbed through the stomach and not the liver. Thanks to you and everyone for keeping up with the posts. I am still waffling between denial (everyone I know drinks a lot!) and being the adult I should be and getting myself together. My doctor outright stated that I am “self-medicating” (i Know, boo) but he also gave me a rather stunted metaphor of putting “out the fire” on the top floor to get to the basement. Meaning, that we have to deal with the alcoholism first to really understand what is going on. Alcoholism, particularly for people prone to anxiety and depression, can cause: insomnia, paranoia, vitamin deficiencies, etc. This is a real health concern and we need to love ourselves enough to take care and think about all the people around us, and what we are doing to them as we do to ourselves.
I hope your meeting with your doctor went well, and that you have a plan to do better. Keep up the good work, stay strong.
Hi guys, I am struggling again with all this, go fine for a few days then relapse and drink a bottle of wine a couple of nights in a row. It is just a variation on the theme of the relationship with alcohol. What I am finding though is that as my fitness level increases, my body’s ability to deal with wine etc decreases. About a month ago I could drink a bottle a night (and sometimes a bit more) and function the next day. Now I am fitter I cannot support this any more. I want to say something to Michelle about anxiety/depression issue. I can relate to not having a good effect with medication. The last time I tired it had a paradoxical effect and made things worse. Working with my doctor if I kept up exercise, this had a major positive impact. I used to get accelerated heart rate form no-where and then hyper anxiety attacks. I don’t need to tell you alcohol makes it much much worse.Me feeling a bit annoyed with myself at the moment…………..at home and NOT reaching for the wine and not going to either.
I have read the stories on this website and they so mirror parts of my life. I have found them inspirational and can see the journey that so many of you have taken. Your fears are my fears but I can see you have managed to work your way through them. Which gives me hope that I can reach total sobriety. I can see where so many of you have had those same conversations with yourself in the middle of the night, the tears, the guilt trips and complete loss of self esteem and self worth.
Like you Scottie I have always been shy and thought a couple of drinks would make me more outgoing, it did but it also in some ways made me a prisoner and introverted. I so want to change for myself and my family. When I first posted I thought I would keep a diary and reduce my intake but I think I was kidding myself and just giving myself an excuse to keep drinking. I have decided the only way is to stop and today is my first day.
Good luck to you Shooks. Keep up with the diary, but this time write down in detail all the withdrawal symptoms you go through each day. I found it helped me greatly. It made me feel more in control. You’ll also gain encouragement as you feel your mind and body start to repair itself.
You can do it, once again, good luck.
Don
Thanks Don.
Just to clarify my post I meant the same conversations I have had with myself on numerous occasions. Re reading my post it does not come across like that. I hope I haven’t offended anyone.
Good luck to everyone.
I just want to thank everyone for their posts and support of each other. I kid myself by saying that I have an “on again-off again” relationship with alcohol, but the truth is I have been an alcoholic for about three years. I am going through a bad patch right now, probably consuming about six pints a night for the last five days, and embarrassed because although I drink water and shower about four times a day (yup- big sign of alcoholism!) I am pretty sure I still smell of alcohol as it aspirates through the skin and mouth long after that last drink. I have recently come “out of the closet” in two ways- finally admitting that I can’t control my alcohol consumption alone, and that I have been using it for various reasons, most notably to calm myself for an anxiety disorder. Ironically, my body does not respond to pills of pretty much any kind except ibuprofin for pain, and I have a very hard time physically from side effects (yes, even worse than daily hangovers.) Is anyone else here dealing with trying to conquer anxiety/depression issues without pills and quitting reliance on alcohol?
Michelle, I am interested to know that when you told people that you were struggling with alcohol what was there reaction? Did they tell you that you did smell of alcohol? that is one of my biggest fears that it is coming out of my pores and I try not to talk directly at people in case the next day they can still smell it on my breath. I also suffer from anxiety when drinking and one point I got really depressed, Scottie I really think you need a longer period of abstinence before embarking on medication. I would give it a few weeks myself just to make sure that the alcohol has worked its way out and that your body can return to somewhat normal. Juliet, I am feeling quite good today, on Day 4, even went for a swim at the beach in the evening, would never have done that before, I was swimming and I said to myself who needs alcohol, this is what life is for, enjoying yourself not sitting there getting wrecked all of the time. I came off the beach then someone appeared with a pint of beer in a glass in front of me and then instantly I thought of having a drink in the sunshine. It was just a moments thought but I can see how hard it is going to be in the future. I hope I can abstain.
Hi Kel. No one has specifically told me I smell like alcohol, I have a very acute sense of smell and can smell it on myself, there go, some people MUST be able to smell it too. I have had a co-worker grumble under his breath. And some uncomfortable moments on public transit. (did any of us ever think we were going to be the gross smelly person on the bus?) The showering, I guess is part of my “ritual” I buy a single pint here, another there, so that the clerks don’t think I am an alcoholic. (the fact that they see me almost everyday should probably be a good tip off!) I shower in between stores. Ironically (or not) I have trained as a bartender, and part of that training involved understanding how alcohol affects the body- We don’t metabolize alcohol like food- 90% of the work is done by the liver- the other 10% is either metabolized through sweat, or “aspirated” through the lungs. This is why we smell long after drinking. Being aware of that makes me a little paranoid. But trust me, people can smell alcohol a lot more than we give them credit for. Maybe they think you went out for lunch, or you are hungover, always willing to give the benefit of the doubt ( as in most case they should) but if it is a constant- be worried. And get better. I have had a good week. Drinking to a minimum. (But sadly still drinking). I have actually had a few hangover free days this week, and quite frankly, don’t know what to do with myself. I am so used to feeling bad, I don’t know what to do with this extra energy. It’s like I forgot what life was like before becoming a drunk. Ridiculous.
no didnt manage it, thought i could cut down, but didnt..argghhh
Don’t beat yourself up over it. The important thing is that you’ve started thinking about cutting down or cutting it out altogether. You can always have another go. It’s not a race. Best wishes. Dave
thats better … me and the wife had a take away curry last night and we all know that curry and beer go hand in hand , i was so tempted to pop out and get some beer . the cravings went crazy for a bit so i made coffee to take my mind off it . cravings went before the food arrived so all was good. woke up sober again..
That’s excellent John! You’re going through exactly the same as some others. Stay strong mate and you’ll win
Hey Dolly,
I’m in the same boat as you,I always think I can cut it down but end up on worse sessions…in need of inspiration 🙁
Go Kel go!!
see your point but is this a choice question? Do you love booze more than that girl?? None of us started drinking thinking we gonna become terrible alcoholics, but I guess those guys who drink cheap perfume, window cleaning liquid, beat up they wifes also did not think it was going to end like this for them when they tried alcohol for the first time. One thing is sure, – your girl will not tame you unless you make a decision yourself, – my father would go and drink, leaving me on my knees asking him not to go out…this only proves that no external force can make you do things you dont want to do, or if you do (‘stop’ drinking) the effects may not be sustainable and profound.
The biggest side effect is improved self esteem mixed with nervousness about the new You battling the Old you;)) Remember old hobies, old friends… read old posts on this side, help others, share your thoughts, fears, etc..
First time commenting on, have got inspiration from you all in some way, thanks.
I understand what you mean by drink keeping you in your shell, Pete. I used to drink to be less shy and enjoy myself and have ended up locking myself away for nearly 3 miserable years, I have lost all my friends and have now only got some family and gf (gf by a thread-she’s a saint).
The self-deabting is a nightmare too-sometimes it makes me feel like my brain’s about to implode.
I am on day 4 of sobriety and it’s hard – last drank on my birthday a few days ago-alone, sad and full of self-pity.
I need to stay off it for good – was off it for 3 weeks recently – my longest since I started drinking in my teens (im 30), I was really positive then had a suicide in the family which really messed me up and my sobriety streak.
I MUST move on and not let anything allow me to relapse as alcohol will never let me climb out the depression I’m dying to get out of.
Stay strong Pete and all.
Best of luck to you Scottie—it won’t be easy–but you sound strong and determined. You know what needs to be done.
I have drunk heavily for the last 11 years, usually cheap cider, sometimes on a weekend I would drink so much that I would pass out, wake up and start again, today is my first day on the road to recovery, often I have often gone 3 or 4 days at a time without eating anything and at one point I really feared I was losing my mind, I have been honest enough to tell my boss at work and he has been understanding, my GP has been great, also I have a great partner who I have hurt mentally but she is willing to support me, I am determined to do this and wish everyone all the best. I just went out in the garden, breathed in fresh air and thought ‘life is not so bad’, I’m amazed I hid the truth from so many people for so long but I got sick of living a lie, I became an habitual liar and impossible to be around, the withdrawal hasn’t really kicked in yet but a few days off and a fridge full of fruit juice should help. I’m looking forward to simple pleasures, walks in the park, enjoying the summer, getting to know my partner properly and the feeling of being sober. I realise it won’t be easy but I just feel ready for it.
Good for you Dave. You sound like you are on the right path and in a good state of mind. If you start having any doubts, re-read what you just posted. You can do this.
Hi Kel, you don’t have a long way to go, you are already there ;o)
Thanks Royboy, feeling great today, bursting with energy, just been to an exercise class-bring on day 4.
I tried to, but thought it was a bit over the top. I did drink only water for a while which helped a lot though.
I’d give up totally mate!
…drinking i mean. Also, you guys are doing a great job and you have my total respect.
Hello everyone, I am a man in the fortysomthing catagory and have been drinking heavy everyday for along time. I was raised in a family of drinkers and saw it as a celebration tool that made people happy. When I started, it helped me come out of my shell but now it keeps me in one. I have tried a number of times to stop but, ofcourse, have always found a reason to start again. I can’t seem to get in control and as I have read on another post….I always loose the self debate. Their is no question drinking has taken its toll me physically, mentally, and money wise. My health issues have finally arrived and I must get in controll of this or I will leave my wife and daughter to bury me years before my time. I have gotten to where I will go a day or two without but hit it hard the others days; its like my mind forgets the days I’d stopped and moves on with the drinking. Today, I must make the start to a life with out alcohol.
Pete–your story is very familiar. I can understand about the family part and alchohol being a part of your life. Maybe you should look at is as breaking that cycle for your kids. If they see you drink all the time, they are more than likely going to do it as well, just as you have. Break the cycle. If you can’t do it for yourself–do it for them. Good luck.