How to stop drinking alcohol

Are you trying to decide if you should stop drinking alcohol? Maybe you’ve already tried a few times to just cut down, and drink more sensibly like other people seem to.

There will be many different factors which contribute to your alcohol consumption, so in order to stop drinking so much, you might need to address some of these.

how to stop drinking alcohol

It may be stress or anxiety, depression or boredom, perhaps social pressure or relationship problems. If you can identify that you often drink alcohol in response to some of these, then your first step is to look for different solutions to these issues.

So how do you stop drinking? The first thing to look at is:

Consider your motivation for stopping

Why do you actually want to stop? What are the consequences of your alcohol consumption? Weigh up the pros and cons of your drinking, the costs versus the benefits (write them down here if you like).

  • What are the negative effects of your drinking? Be honest here – look at your relationships, your health, job, self-esteem, depression etc.
  • Next what are the good things you expect to happen when you stop drinking, how will your life be better?
  • Finally what are the negative aspects of quitting? What is putting you off the idea? This is important because you will have to find some way to solve these concerns.

You need to be reminding yourself about this list of your motivations every time you think about having a drink. The next stage is to find out:

Are you physically dependent on alcohol?

For the sake of safety, if you are drinking all day from the moment you wake up in order to avoid your hangovers, then you will need some sort of medical supervision to help you through the detox. So if you’re drinking this much you should see your doctor before you plan to stop drinking alcohol. If you won’t do that, then you MUST try and cut down a bit before you stop completely.

So you’ve worked out why you want to stop, and if you can stop safely. Now what? You need to:

Develop a plan for how you can avoid those urges to drink.

Read our earlier article on coping with alcohol cravings first. It will give you a few techniques to help you. One thing’s for sure, will-power alone is not enough to stop you from drinking.

You need to work out what are your ‘high-risk’ situations, what are your ‘triggers’ that make you want to drink? Some of these can be avoided, so make plans as to how you can avoid them. For those that clearly can’t be avoided, you have to start thinking about how you can deal with them differently. Make your own relapse prevention strategy.

But what if things go wrong?

Ok, so it might not be as easy as all that (of course not), you may well slip and have a drink when you weren’t planning to. You haven’t failed, it’s just a mistake, you let that old habit sneak up and catch you unaware.

This obviously isn’t going to change over night. And realistically, this is where you might need the help of a professional. You will need to replace all that drinking with other activities, which means you need to set yourself some achievable goals.

The same goes for your feelings, learning how you can cope with difficult feelings without alcohol will take some time. Alcohol has been your way of dealing with everything difficult in your life, so you are going to have to find some other ways to cope, basically.

You should regularly review what is working and what’s not, what things are still tripping you up and most importantly, what benefits you are seeing. Remind yourself of your original reasons for wanting to stop drinking alcohol. And of course, if you find that you need some help, try a therapy session.


  1. erin 12 February, 2015 at 1:04 am - Reply

    I need help I am scared to death!

  2. Carlson 5 February, 2015 at 8:41 pm - Reply

    I been drinking since 18 now I’m 67 cancer in 2009 and 2012 prostate and now diabetic health is bad and I need to quit

  3. j 4 February, 2015 at 12:44 am - Reply

    Please help

  4. Paula 5 January, 2015 at 9:20 pm - Reply

    Hi. Just thought give you an update . Have not had a drink since New Year’s Eve can’t believe I have gone 5 days without a single drink feel quite, proud of myself , As I have been a secrete drinker for 3 years don’t have any one to share my success with . Going to try for dry January so fingers crossed . My tip , when the urge comes drink a large glass of water ,seems to help me . . It’s great waking up in the morning not having to worry about what I may have said to people . even better rembering all the happenings through the day . Good luck to all you fellow readers in the same situation .

    • Adam 8 January, 2015 at 5:37 am - Reply

      Good luck! 5 days is as far as i had gone.. time to try again!

    • deb 4 February, 2015 at 1:28 am - Reply

      Hi Paula, It is also day 5 for me and like you I am feeling quiet proud of myself as well, also along with you I am also doing this by myself as I do not want to disappoint my family if I do fail,as I have done that before with failing to give the dreaded smokes away. Also agree about waking up in the morning been able to remember everything and not having to feel guilty about the things I may have said or done. I have not been out as yet but do have my daughters hens party coming up and must admit I am a bit nervous but determined. Thanks for listening.

    • sarah4409 22 February, 2015 at 9:09 am - Reply

      Congrats Paula you sound a lot like me I’m a secret drinker as well trying to quit good luck on your journey!

  5. Anonymous 3 January, 2015 at 9:55 pm - Reply

    Comment.hi my name is david and i have a problem with alcohol because once i start drinking i just cant stop i can drink the whole night and cont wake for the whole day pls help because this is messing up my life..

    • Annonymous 4 January, 2015 at 8:09 pm - Reply

      Email me mate and I’ll help y’aout

  6. wontsay 20 December, 2014 at 2:23 am - Reply

    hi i have been drinking alcohol and i am 13 years old… don’t know how to stop myself or anything i tell myself no and i do it anyway… i dont wanna tell my parents only my friends know my parents might think i am nuts or if i tell my shcool they might think i am wack can u help me pleaaaase..>?

    • Densol 1 January, 2015 at 11:18 pm - Reply

      Im 50 this year. Last night NYE – I hit rock bottom. I drank so much – I shouted at my lovely young boyfriend and his mum screamed at me ( rather unjustly ) but then I screamed at her and called all of them low life scum etc. i cant believe it – ive nearly ruined a beautiful 10 month old relationship. Im doing Dry January. After last night – I dont ever want to drink ever again – I was a complete monster

      • Anonymous 2 January, 2015 at 3:19 am - Reply

        Omg I did almost the exact same thing but different. All day long I have been mortified with myself and at myself. I made a complete idiot of myself…. Turned a beautiful party into a “what the hell is she doing and who is she!!??
        As my beautiful boyfriend referred to me, “you’re a mean drunk” which hurt to the core of me….
        I’m done drinking

  7. Gris 15 December, 2014 at 7:15 pm - Reply

    Hi thanks for your comments. I’m 31 years old I have two beautiful children. A 10 year old son and a 2 year gorgeous daughter. I started drinking occasionally when I was 16 but not like I do now. I started drinking a lot daily when I was about 26. It started with tall boys now I drink atleast 2 bottles of those huge wine bottles. I started drinking a lot after I left a very bad abusive violent relationship. I would drink atleast 20 bears plus a small bottle of liquor. I even got a dwi in 2009. My sons father was extremely abusive physically, emotionally, mentally. He is a horrible person. I was a senior in college almost done with my anthropology degree and I left it all in 2012 when I moved to a different city cause he was trying to take my son away and I couldn’t deal with that anymore. Was affecting my son and I a lot. I used to have my son m-f and him on the weekends. So jealous and controlling that one time he saw that I had a boyfriend so he started taking me to court and my son and I got a lawyer and I couldn’t afford that so I ended up giving I guess my custody from Monday through Friday to him and then I would have my son on the weekends but slowly but surely he wouldn’t let him come over and wouldn’t let me talk to him. So I just couldn’t deal with that anymore so I moved to cities then I ended up getting married which it didn’t last I had a Nother baby which I love her so much but I feel like so alone I do have some family members that live here where I do but I don’t know I just get together with them too much. So now it’s just me and my daughter and I drink like every day I have whatever job at a retail store and I just keep drinking and drinking and I want to stop so bad but I just don’t know like it’s so hard. Been trying to stop for a while I don’t want to get like a heart attack or something and I can’t leave my kids but I also haven’t seen my son in three years I tried calling them they don’t answer just how don’t know what to do. Do you have this great guy in my life now and he helps me a lot but I feel like I’m going to lose him if I continue to drink and I just feel like something that’s going to happen to me and I’m not going to be able to be here for my daughter or my son whenever I get to see him again. I don’t know why I keep drinking I guess when I do I just makes me feel a little bit relaxin I guess supposedly happy but the next day you know the hangovers it’s just been getting worse. I do believe that alcohol is a poison I think it’s really bad for you it like he took your body from the inside. I just hope and pray that all of you and myself and everybody else that’s an alcoholic can stop I really hope that for all of us.

    • Ibrahim 13 March, 2015 at 11:21 am - Reply

      I hope you are fine. I dont know what i say.

  8. Antonio 15 December, 2014 at 12:10 pm - Reply

    I’m 51 I don’t drink everyday I can go 2 – 3 days without a drink .But once I start up I can drink a 12 pack with no problem. I have no problem getting up to go to work. I don’t miss any days. My husband is starting to notice it more. A lot of the problem is with him after my son graduates high school I’m leaving.

    • sarah4409 22 February, 2015 at 9:12 am - Reply

      Antonio a lot of what you’re saying sounds where I was a few years ago my I didn’t think I had a problem then I wish I would have realized that I did my advice to you is to really work on reducing that even more so that it doesn’t escalate

  9. connie 3 December, 2014 at 11:29 pm - Reply

    Im a 37 yr old with hep c and cant quit drinking please i need help

    • Lenny8960 9 December, 2014 at 4:42 am - Reply

      What/how much are you drinking? Hang tight you can quit!

    • Anonymous 15 January, 2015 at 4:33 pm - Reply

      Just make yourself get mad at alcohol. Make yourself get mad at the habit.l mean REALLY mad!!! That’s what helped me quit cigarettes. Now I’m doing this with alcohol. GOOD LUCK!!!

    • james 27 January, 2015 at 10:54 pm - Reply

      I would love to stop drink

  10. Tia 29 November, 2014 at 1:57 am - Reply

    Hi, my name is Tia. I am 18 years old, I have struggled with substance abuse since I was 13 years old, I have a very unsupportive dysfunctional family. I moved to an Island a year ago to detox and try and pull my shit together, there is virtually no drugs on the island so I started to drink again, I want to stop, and I have tried so many times to escape it but it feels like everywhere I go I fall into this. I am out of control, I don’t feel normal, I cant function without a drink. I am a chef and work crazy hours, I cant sleep because my hours are always different and the only way I can get any rest is if I pass out on the couch, if I start at 10am I drink till 9, I cant do my job without a drink, I get shakey and I cant focus, it cant handle a knife when im not drinking because the shakes are so bad. I need help and I have no where to turn, there are no AA meetings on this island and the doctors here are not helpful at all. I feel so isolated and alone. can someone, anyone please give me advice.

    • Lenny8960 9 December, 2014 at 4:40 am - Reply

      I hope you are still online here. You can quit, trust me I know exactly what you are talking about. I too was a chef, if I can quit anyone can. Best way to try in my opinion if you can’t get medical help is to ween yourself off of alcohol. I was drinking 20-24 cans of beer a day. I tried to quit a few times cold turkey but the withdrawal was too much, I would feel like i was going to jump out of my skin and the shakes forget it, no way I could work. SO I decided to taper my drinking you can find out more on the Hams network I think it’s called. Anyway I reduced my beer count by 1 beer a day over a period of three weeks. But you need to be very careful doing this, you need to be serious about getting off the evil stuff, it is literally poison in your body, if you think about it it really doesn’t make you feel good. Sorry off topic, but just one night of getting soused and it’s like you never started the taper. So one beer at a time i cut down my drinking. Had a little anxiety but nothing like I had before, and no real withdrawals (I’ve had a few WD’s that were totally nuts. Now I don’t drink at all and don’t miss it. Funny when you see your old drinking buddies stuck in their same rut, getting older by the minute thinking they are having fun, but you know they are not. You seem very level headed I know you can get over this you are way too young to let this beat you. Please stop drinking, you have so much to do with your life. Don’t let all the talk of seizures and such keep you from quitting, those are fairly rare instances.

      • Kara 23 April, 2015 at 1:02 am - Reply

        I need help. Alcohol is controlling my life. I have two small kids and they deserve me at my best.

  11. Lesley 23 November, 2014 at 8:03 am - Reply

    Hi everyone,
    Well, my Mum has been in the hospital since Wednesday, and it turns out that her cancer is back, with a vengeance. I am the only one here – my sister lives 1500 miles away. (I know that this is a UK site, but I am on the very edge of Canada, on Vancouver Island.)

    The thing is, I know that I have to be strong for her, and be there for her, but I have so much doubt in myself because of my addiction and how I have handled other things in my life – with alcohol, as an escape, and then being useless because I’m lying in bed with an horrendous hangover!!

    I wonder if any of you have had the wish that the nearest liquor store did not exist – that it was not there, not so convenient, and if you ever envisioned, in your head, how nice it would be to blow it up!! (Of course, after the employees had left, and only the ‘spirits’ of alcohol were there to burn to death.)

    • Anonymous 29 November, 2014 at 11:30 pm - Reply

      Hi Lesley I lost my mum to a brain tumour 3 years ago. I struggle with alcohol too. Thinking of you. I was also going through it alone…right to the endxxxx

      • lesley 5 December, 2014 at 9:21 pm - Reply

        Hi, thanks for responding. I’m sorry about your Mum – it’s so awful to watch someone you love deteriorate. Have you been sober/straight for awhile or still struggling?

  12. Lulu-Joy 2 November, 2014 at 9:25 pm - Reply

    How do I join the forum, could do with some help & support. Thank you.

  13. AlenaRose 22 October, 2014 at 2:54 am - Reply

    Started couples counseling primarily because of husband’s drinking problem. 14 yrs together & 3 kids. His drinking getting worse. He now figured out that I am less of a beatch if he gets me drinking too. Never used 2 b my thing but all of a sudden I am now finding myself waiting 2 get off work or put the kids to bed so I can have just 1 drink 2 calm down so I don’t freak out on someone. It never ends at 1 though. Calling in 2 work sick & not doing my normal daily workout s etc. Too embarrassed that I am now the same thing I have been complaining about. Ideas on how to stop this b4 it gets worse?

  14. lost 16 October, 2014 at 2:34 pm - Reply

    I don’t know what to do. The thing is, I don’t want to drink. I’m 35. I started drinking socially in my 20’s. The last couple years I went from drinking too much at night because I couldn’t sleep and it helped. Then it started increasing and increasing. I have a perfect 5 year old son. My husband travels during the week so I could hide it. I only drank at night when my son and husband were sleeping. Then recently my son started school. For the last 6 months I have started drinking during the day and (I work nights and weekends) now have been taking coffee cups of wine to work. I now can’t stop. I feel so awful when I try. I have horrible sweating, trembling, nausea and I just can’t even get up so I drink to just get myself normal. Not even drunk. It’s this horrible cycle that I can’t even stop and I feel pathetic and weak. Nobody knows how much I drink. I know people say that someone knows but I know for a fact that they do not. I take my bottles to the recycle bin all the time. I can drink over 2 bottles of wine a day. I started drinking beer but I gained weight and went to vodka but was getting TOO drunk so I went to red wine. But I will pretty much drink anything. I feel myself dying sometimes. I look at my son and want to be so amazing for him. I don’t want to die and do that to him. I’m trying right now to just slow down and only have a drink when I feel the withdrawal is getting too bad. I can’t go to the dr for this. I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t want my husband, my son, my family and friends to think of me like that. I feel like I’ve kept this a secret for so long that I want to quit secretly but I just don’t know how to go about it. The insomnia, sweating and other withdraw symptoms that I’m getting at night while trying To slow down are so bad that I just don’t know what to do anymore. My community is so small and everyone knows EVERYONE. I feel like I have to keep this a secret so people keep thinking I’m a good person. I’ve been reading articles, blogs and comments for quite awhile and I figured I just need to say something to someone. I need to confide in someone. I have always held dark secrets my whole life (I was molested by my dad for 8 years from when I was 8-15 and didn’t tell anyone till I was 17) and I think I feel like I have to deal with these demons. I just… I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to be this way. I can’t believe I started drinking all day everyday. I didn’t know it would happen like this so quick that I feel like I can’t even quit because of how sick i feel. I feel like I have to drink just to be a mom and a wife and an employee. If I don’t I can’t be a functional person. Ugh! I feel so hopeless.

    • nick1973 17 October, 2014 at 10:11 pm - Reply

      Join us on the forums, mate. We all help each other there.

    • Anonymous 18 October, 2014 at 9:05 pm - Reply

      Dear Lost. I feel so sad for you. You need help as it is so hard to do this on your own. I understand your guilt and shame and how very difficult it is. Can you start to express your concerns to anyone? Keep posting here. It is hard and it can take time. Are you sure you can’t talk to your doctor or contact one of the organisations that helps people with alcohol problems?
      Strength to you
      Angelica x

    • lost2 6 November, 2014 at 6:21 pm - Reply

      Hi lost – You sound very much like me. In most ways, I ‘have it all’ – a great husband, 2 beautiful children (ages 1 and 4), a solid job (it’s not a cakewalk, but I’ve been here for 14 years), a very nice house, but I have a demon. I began drinking in graduate school, around age 27. I have had numerous binges, and not too many drinkless days since, with the exception of being pregnant with my children and breastfeeding with one (though I did “pump and dump” a good bit). So, maybe 2 years tops of no drinking at all during this time (I am 42 now). I can cut back on occasion, but it always creeps back. Recently, I had 10 glasses of wine in one day. My blood pressure went up to 135/90 and my face turned red. Of course I felt awful the next day. I feel pathetic and don’t know what to do. I am afraid I am killing myself. I am anxious about liver disease, heart disease, kidney, etc. I don’t want to leave my family early.

      • Chris 17 November, 2014 at 11:55 am - Reply

        lost2, Considering you can go long periods of time without drinking. Have you ever considered substituting exercise, instead of alcohol. I found it worked for me

    • Wasoncelost 13 November, 2014 at 7:36 pm - Reply

      Lost, I was once in the same place you are currently. I drank 24 hours a day, seven days a week,

      My wife, kids, and co-workers had no idea, I had to talk with my doctor about the withdrawal symptoms that I was experiencing. He was able to help me with some of the symptoms. I am 2 years and 8 months sober today. You would be amazed about how great and empowered you feel, when your are not drinking. I now exercise everyday, and enjoy life even more.

      You can do it. Just believe. Being Sober feels better everyday.

    • wasoncelost 22 November, 2014 at 2:42 am - Reply

      Lost how are you doing?

    • Greg 22 November, 2014 at 3:02 am - Reply

      I want to be your friend I have mostly the same issues

    • Anonymous 25 March, 2015 at 2:50 pm - Reply

      I’m so sorry. I’m in the same situation too. Want to be a better mom for my kid, who is so forgiving. But I can’t stop the wine cycle.

  15. Angelica 14 October, 2014 at 12:00 am - Reply

    It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. Still fighting the battle. Mostly winning but still the odd times when I slip for a while and when I drink far too much and wake feeling terrible with regret. All I can say is that life is so much better sober. I am now going to make yet another attempt. Wish me luck. And hi to Sal, Don, Royboy and many others who helped me so much quite a few years ago and over the years. Keep struggling all..

    • John#2 14 October, 2014 at 12:44 pm - Reply

      Hi Angelica,
      I was on the site around the same time and I do remember your posts and all the support from Don and the rest of the guys at that time. I actually managed 4 months off the booze, and felt brilliant! I have now lapsed, but staying clear of spirits, red wine and strong lager, just drinking normal pub strength beer – but still too much!!
      Good luck in this continuing / never ending battle.

      • Angelica 14 October, 2014 at 1:54 pm - Reply

        Hi John
        Good to hear from you. And good luck and strength in your struggle. We all need it! My alcohol consumption is certainly much less of a problem than in the past but I know I will never be a normal drinker. I had a few dry months and recall feeling great. An amazing feeling of inner joy welling up. A feeling that I’ve never recaptured whilst drinking or with short periods of abstinence. And my whole appearance changed. I lost my tired haggard look. I want that again as I’m reluctant to get the face lift 😉
        No quick fixes. A daily battle. And I am going for it again.
        Angelica xx

    • Sal 16 October, 2014 at 3:30 pm - Reply

      Hi Angelica,

      Good to see you again and I wish you all the luck there is in your attempt at sobriety. I’m nearly 4 years off the poison now and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. I’ve not regretted it for one second. Each day is a gift to look forward to.

      Go for it Angelica and everybody else – you’ll never regret it. Sal xx

      • Angelica 18 October, 2014 at 11:46 am - Reply

        Hi Sal
        Fantastic to hear from you. Wow. 4 years. Well done to you. I will try to remember your kind words of support and wisdom every evening about 6pm when the demon starts tempting me!
        Angelica xx

    • Don 26 October, 2014 at 10:46 pm - Reply

      Well hello again Angelica!
      so sorry to hear that you’re still struggling with the devil. At least you’re still posting, keep it up. You to John2, good to hear from you also.
      And, course Salxx….so glad to hear from you, and about your success.

      I’m still clean, I sometimes go weeks without thinking about booze.
      Two years ago I had quite an experience. Open heart surgery! They had to replace my aortic valve AND, it was NOT related to booze, HOWEVER, my doc told me if I had been still drinking, I wouldn’t have made off the operating table. So, there’s a rather blunt warning to those still drinking, it’s not always the alcohol that kills you….
      please all of you post again I would love to keep in touch.
      Good luck Angelica and John2.
      All the best,
      ps I’ll return to this post soon/

      • Sal 27 October, 2014 at 6:03 pm - Reply

        Hi Don xx

        Lovely to hear from you again and so glad to hear that your heart surgery went well.

        I hardly think about drinking at all now either. Never thought that I would ever say that, but it’s true. I thoroughly recommend an alcohol free life. Sal xx

      • Angelica 16 November, 2014 at 9:27 am - Reply

        Hi Don
        Great to hear from you and so glad your life without the dreaded drink, and the surgery, have gone so well. Yes I continue to struggle with my demons. But my life is otherwise good and busy.
        I’ll keep my eye open for you all on this site
        Angelica xxx

  16. James 13 October, 2014 at 9:19 am - Reply

    Hi, am James lately ihave been drinking heavily to an extend iend up not going, and spend anight or two at friends houses, yet ihave awife and three children idont know why icant have a controlled drink, or the urge to go back to my Familly am worried idont know what to do?

  17. Paula 5 October, 2014 at 2:26 am - Reply

    Help I am a secret drinker .i drink gin half bottle neat and bottle of wine every day . i feel so ashamed need help want to stop . Have no friends ,

    • Angelica 14 October, 2014 at 3:03 pm - Reply

      Hi Paula. That’s very heavy drinking. There are friends and support for you out there. Many organisations. Your Dr may well help and point you in the right direction.. Good luck. Life can be a lot better.

    • Erika 30 October, 2014 at 5:19 am - Reply

      You sound so much like me, maybe we can help each other,? 732 731 9630… I’m here…I would also like someone to talk to. My email is cause it looks like they don’t let anyone list emails’ normally lol..

      Talk to you soon,

      ErikaNicole 🙂

    • Anonymous 15 November, 2014 at 1:57 am - Reply

      I have the same problem I know I need to stop but I so scared,don’t know how to do it,it’s starting to taking over my life and I don’t want to

  18. Dave 24 September, 2014 at 10:19 am - Reply

    My drinking has got out of hand, it resulted in having a row last night with my wife and she and our daughter went at stopped at the wifes mothers.

    I’m really worrying about how it is affecting my relationships and what my children must think of me.

    I used to hate drinking at home but I got into a spell where I started drinking cans of lager at home and it’s just escalated to the point where I was drinking 12-16 cans every single day.

    The weird thing is I don’t think I’m an alcoholic, I can go for 2 or 3 days without drinking and I don’t miss it, but as soon as I have 1 beer that’s it, I just keep on drinking and drinking until I physically can’t drink any more.

    Last night I went to bed at about 8-30 after our row and I woke 4 hours later with my heart racing so fast that I thought I was about to have a heart attack.

    I need to sort myself out but I know that even though I keep saying I wont drink like that at home any more within a couple of days I’ll go on another binge and then we’re back to square one with an unhappy wife, unhappy children, and unhappy me.

    What do I do? How can I stop?

    • Hopeless 1 October, 2014 at 10:40 pm - Reply

      Hi, Im a binge Drinker. Im so sick of who I have become! Im the worse person on this planet, trust me I am! Who Gets Drunk, cheats on their spouse and leaves their Families for 2 days? have 3 kids What kind of parent Am I? Who Repents to God over and over and over and does it again? Who deserves A husband like me? Not me! Why does he take me back? Why am I such a LOSER… I’m selfish, Im killing myself slowly, My Kids and I are tight when I’m Sober, but when the binging begins Its all over, I want to Stop but how do I? Am I seriously this weak? Whats the point of My life I’m Hopless!

      • michael 4 October, 2014 at 6:02 am - Reply

        dude your not hopeless….nor are you weak…..your experiencing despair…..and the little alarm bells which keep going off in your head are happening for a reason….quit apologising to god…… start to consider what’s the motivation for the alarm bells……what do you feel just before you drink….and work from an angle which is objective……you can create a mindset which maintains a no alcohol outlook….. start with a meditation…….everyone has what it takes to stop…….its just finding that reason within yourself…

    • Dave 6 October, 2014 at 6:22 pm - Reply

      I thought I’d update what I’ve done since my last post in case it might help anyone else.

      I decided that I needed to really make a change otherwise I was going to lose my family and marriage and my life was about to fall off a cliff.

      In desperation I bought Allen Carr’s “how to control alcohol” (I got the audio book version) since I’d heard of him before and how good his “quit smoking” book is supposed to be.

      Well, it took me almost 3 days to listen to the book and I have not had a drink since, nor have I had the slightest desire to drink either – it is incredible.

      Not only that I decided that since tobacco is the same as alcohol in that it’s an addictive drug that I might as well quit that at the same time.

      So have been drink free for 10 days now – doesn’t sound like much but for me even that is an achievement, and I have no doubt I won’t drink again.

      Fell off the wagon with the cigs so I bought the proper “quit smoking” book and listened to that and haven’t had a smoke for 4 days now, again it’s been very easy really.

      Hope I can keep this up and not fall back into drinking and smoking.

      Wish me luck.

      • Gloria Monroe 14 October, 2014 at 6:39 pm - Reply

        Hi Dave- I have Faith in you!!! I was actually here for a very close friend of mine who has a drinking problem just as you described and the really strange thing is – his name is Dave also, Gee I do believe God is trying to get a message across !
        Your statement has helped me, I so desperately need to quit smoking! I do not drink any alcohol thankfully, but I sure smoke cigs! I am going to get the book you mentioned for quitting cigs!
        Will advise Dave to get the alcohol book, he wants help, he is able to go a few days without beer, he says just when he is feeling better, he goes right back to it! Yesterday was one of those days, he feels so miserable today, asked me if I could please try and find out why he does that, he is 52 years old and said he has done it most of his life!
        I do believe I was sent here for a reason and that is to read what you wrote!
        I believe you will have conquered both addictions! Please keep us informed, I am bookmarking this link so I can refer back here!
        Off to Better World Books to locate both the books!

    • Greg 22 November, 2014 at 3:05 am - Reply

      How? Do I stop doing this to my family as well

  19. Vero 9 September, 2014 at 2:02 pm - Reply

    Hey guys, after reading all what people have gone through because of alochol it makes me hate myself. Am 45 started really drinking that one you can finish a whole bottle of vodka alone in a day when I was 40years. I dont seem to keep my hands off. I can stay for days without drinking (i dont drink Vodka any more I drink beer) but the minuted i start drinking I cant stop. Am not voilent, I dont abuse anyone, I just drink. I was get my way home, and I have never slept with a man because of my drinking.

    I just drink, mostly i dont even enjoy it, its bitter:( but i cannot stop). I come from I family I love, I have brothers and sisters and these people they love you when they can get something from you. Whenever we go out I am the one who pays the bills. Yet this are people who dont appreciate people who cannot help me. I have spend fo much on them, they have borrowed my money but when it comes to payment they dont. Am a bitter lady, I feel people use me, and that makes me sink into alcohol. I hate drinking i hate the taste of it, i dont enjoy it.

    I NEED HELP, I cry many times after drinking i look at myself in the mirror I hate was i see. I need some help….

  20. Nadine Webber 7 September, 2014 at 12:57 am - Reply

    I have only been drinking for 1week but I feel like it is
    Out of control i am messing up college and I am going
    To get kicked out of my foster home but I dont feel I should
    Stop can someone help me please

  21. Bill Smith 4 September, 2014 at 6:50 pm - Reply

    I have drank for 30 years and went to the hospital A & E the other day and was handed a questionnaire about drinking if you were honest and admitted ticked the right box’s they referred you for help. I was brave told the truth yes I drink everyday, yes I drink more than 10 units etc etc. When I went to see the triage nurse she didn’t even ask for it and I had already been brave. Went through to cubicles to see the doctor I even said I think I am ill because I drink too much and again they never asked for the bright yellow paper when they discharged me to see the GP in an hour I left it on the chair hoping someone will follow me up. An hour later in front of the GP again I told him. Anyway not one healthcare worker offered any help and I was begging for it and the last time I asked for help was 20 years ago and I guess it will be another 20 before I am brave enough to seek help again but doubt I will be alive to care. I sick of advice sites saying tell your GP they just think you are stupid and get you out of the surgery asap

    • Helen Maddison 7 September, 2014 at 8:33 am - Reply

      Bill, I totally agree. I’m a health professional with 25 years of experience. I saw my GP as I was concerned about my drinking; I drink every day and it’s affecting my life. I need help and support to stop. My GP laughed and said it’s normal for a middle aged woman to drink every day and tried to suggest I have TMS, a form of therapy to help me accept the situation! Arrgghh! I attended a couple of AA meetings but, although I had great compassion for those there who had awful experiences, I couldn’t relate as I am not at that point yet. AND I NEED HELP SO I NEVER AM!

  22. michael 31 August, 2014 at 5:22 am - Reply

    Am nine weeks sober and am recognising how much of a grip booze had on me………I feel relief:)….don’t give up people… weren’t born with a beer in your hand……you just need to have sum faith…..and you will start to feel better in soooo many ways…..don’t give up the fight!

    • Jb 3 September, 2014 at 11:33 am - Reply

      Thank you Michael. You have given me heart to stop drinking alcohol.

  23. Ian 27 August, 2014 at 11:28 pm - Reply

    I’ve just admitted to myself that I’m an alcoholic. That was a big step because for years I just thought I was the kind of guy who likes partying and banter. Its not just partying and banter though any more, when you take a few days holiday and end up drinking the whole time. literally, from the moment you get up to even out the hangover, then a couple before you go to bed in the hope you can sleep it off and be normal for the world the next day. I don’t have a bad life, but I feel ashamed at myself and how badly I live it. Every day is precious and I’ve just wasted a whole load of them lazing around, drinking and not living. When I get past 2-3 days without booze I feel amazing, like I’m reset and ready for the world. Then I get the Friday feeling and I’m smashed until Sunday night, feel like crap Monday, paranoid, anxious, not functioning properly. Looking at people with glazed eyes wondering if they realise how thick I feel. Not the same bubbly person they said goodbye to on Friday lol. I know I’m not crazy, at least I hope not! But I know, I really know, that I’ve got a problem. I

  24. Phindane Khumalo 27 August, 2014 at 6:19 am - Reply

    Hi, I work under a lot of pressure, fighting for the right decisions every time. VERY UNABLE TO TOLERATE WRONG ADVISES AND SUGGESTIONS. End up personalising things and work. BRINGING MY WORK PROBLEMS NAND CHALLENGES to my family. Becoming very tired and slleepy and daily indulging on alcohol. It gets worse if I got badly treated at work. Often requested to fill other peoples shoes at work as they can not perform. Not being given a fair opportunity toexpress my views.

    Always feeling unfarily treated then alcohol and m family always worried as am always tired and can not help optimally with myresponsibilities as a loving and carrying father though my children get all they want except for the attention they deserve.

  25. Hash 27 August, 2014 at 3:44 am - Reply

    Hey guys,

    I’m an alcoholic, My girl and family have no idea that I drink so much. I would buy bottles of vodka, drink it straight, pass out, wake up and start drinking again. No food in between, I would eat one meal a day but that meal would be a monster and not alot of water. Doing that, I would have monster hung overs.

    I would tell myself everyday on my way to buying more vodka, that this is the last time, I even laugh at myself and know that ill go and just buy more when I run out.

    I’d hide the empty bottles in my drawer cause I didn’t want anyone to notice how much I actually drink. Today, while still suffering a hung over I decided to remove the bottles and throw them not as an act to stop drinking but to make room for more bottles. The number of bottles were ridiculous and I knew I had a problem. I threw the bottles and promised myself to never drink again. 1 day sober its not gonna be easy but I just keep reminding myself of what it does to you, the fucking trembling, stomach pain, doing stupid shit, hurting others and not remembering what you did. Worst of all the fucking shame.

    Anyways, good luck to everyone, it really does help knowing that you’re not alone.

    • Matt 12 September, 2014 at 2:37 am - Reply

      Hi friends,

      I also drink far to much. I suffer with depression and anxiety attacks.

      I can’t drink a beer without thinking about getting hammered, ordering some coke and getting fu£3ed!. I’ve done this for over 20 years and I know I have a problem.
      I do not drink during the day but would not say no if offered to me.
      My wife is teetotal and I wish I could join her, at least during the week. I live in Farnham, I’m married with children. Would love to meet others in my position before it’s too late.

  26. chris 17 August, 2014 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    I’m destroying myself with drink.

    I’m at the point now where I am drinking a bottle of vodka and s bottle of red wine.

    Topping it off, when I get blind drunk I go on Internet and gamble. I can’t go on. I need help but am so terrified of talking to my family about it. They would be so disappointed. .

    Can a gp help me before I completely destroy my whole life?

    • Lesley 24 August, 2014 at 10:52 pm - Reply

      Hi Chris,
      It sounds pretty bad for you and if you really want to, and I mean REALLY want to, then you have to seek help. Now. Reach out to someone in your community, seek out groups, see your doctor.

      You may think you are hiding this from your family, but most often, they already know you have a problem. You can only lie and make excuses and cancel appointments so many times, and then everyone guesses there’s a problem.

      I hope you get this and that you know there are people out here who care and want you to get better and you are the only person who can make something good happen for yourself. I’ll watch out for more posts from you.

    • Lesley 25 August, 2014 at 12:21 am - Reply

      Hi again Chris,
      There is something online called Rational Recovery, and it talks about the ‘addiction voice’ and what is really YOU. Please look it up, because it is really powerful, and you will realize how much the addiction itself talks you into using over and over.

      You see, you have to realize that your addiction is not the real YOU. The addiction tells you how much of a loser and failure and disappointment you are, so you feel so crummy about yourself that you think you might as well just get drunk.

      Do yourself a favour and read up on this, because you are not your addiction. It is something that has invaded you. Make it shut up!!

  27. mike 3 August, 2014 at 12:28 am - Reply

    im in a bad place again, drugs and drinking, im so sick of this so depressed need a change

    • TJ 6 August, 2014 at 1:53 am - Reply

      Hey Mike, how are you feeling today?

  28. michael 30 July, 2014 at 12:45 pm - Reply

    Im four weeks sober……you little ripper!!

  29. michael 30 July, 2014 at 12:43 pm - Reply

    hello im just reading these posts and thinking how much drinking, when its causing anguish, plays on the minds of those who abuse it.Someone said something that stuck with me, which for me rings true, in that if you abuse something….it will abuse you right back(tit for tat, ying and yang)……you perpetuate the cycle of gloom by convincing yourself your not strong enough……this i’m afraid is bollocks……you are without a shadow of a doubt ‘strong enough to kick this mutherfucker’…….and you will…..
    Have a plan of attack….write it down…..consider your approach….and give yourself ample space to be spaced out, mellon collie, angry, fucked off with the world in general or just plain feeling odd…this is your mind adjusting and your body too… does not last forever……if you allow for this god awful transition to occur you will start to feel better…..but again its about gritting your teeth and saying out aloud I have had it with this shit hole ive lowered myself into… getting myself the fuck out!
    The universe has a funny way of aligning itself…….you cannot control the universe….but you can control your mind

  30. Pauly 28 July, 2014 at 2:07 pm - Reply

    5 days I lasted, 5 days sober, the longest I’ve lasted in a couple of years. My emotions went rampant from anxious and paranoid to depressed to joyful. I know that sounds psychotic but all the time I was aware it was a withdrawal thing. As soon as I felt fine I couldn’t walk past the bottle shop. While drinking I keep work and family going; but I’m living life as a blunt knife and it takes an extraordinary effort just to maintain normalcy. Good luck to you all as it’s a bugger of a thing. I have to also say that I often find it helpful to focus on the good in myself-sorry it’s really soppy but alcohol attacks that strength and when you know it at the very least damage is reduced. No booze in the house I’ll jump back on the wagon.

  31. ruth 28 July, 2014 at 1:01 am - Reply

    I really dont know what to do anymore alcohol has taken over my life.i tried so many times to stop but go back again to drinking.i dont drink in the morning but come afternoon im on it.i want to leave a normal life not depending on alcohol to be happy.ive done disgusting dins whilst drunk pls help how to stop dis plss

  32. Lee 26 July, 2014 at 10:21 pm - Reply

    I go on serious benders, I would say roughly every month, I don’t even know what triggers me, I wake up, go to the shop for some vodka and get as drunk as possible as quickly as possible, this makes me feel like an idiot which leads me to drink the following day, I don’t even enjoy it, I just pass out. It feels like self harm.

  33. Mary Anne 15 July, 2014 at 11:57 am - Reply

    Hi I had lots of help on here a few years ago and managed to get myself sorted. I wanted to continue supporting others on the site but didn’t feel I should as I didn’t give up alcohol – just the drunkenness. I realised that it was my life making me drink rather than the alcohol causing problems and I wanted to get my life in order. I did successfully for a long time but more recently I have been let down badly and feeling really sad and low – so the drinking has got worse again. As of today I want to change things around again and want to go 30 days (for starters) without a drink (only been managing 4). I was quite ill a couple of years ago and know that booze is only going to send me back there so, no more booze! I am the only one who can help me and I intend to sort my life out so that it is worth getting up in the morning, sober. Good luck to everyone fighting this battle.

    • sal 18 July, 2014 at 2:21 am - Reply

      Hi my name is sal.. I have a big problem with alcohol addiction… I tried to stop, I go for months without drinking but once I have a small taste u go back to my old way for the day of course just drink till I can’t remember how I got home.. now I find myself in the mercy of marijuana to the point I need it every 5 hours 🙁 .. I’m freaking out can u please give me some advise..

      • Mary Anne 25 July, 2014 at 5:27 pm - Reply

        Hi Sal, I’m really sorry to hear your problems and, if the weed problem is new, it sounds as though it’s getting worse. Have you spoken to someone? Your GP, a friend? It seems as though you need support locally – and as soon as you can.

        Believe in yourself! You can do it but I think you need to get some help and don’t have that ‘small taste’!
        With love and healing MA x

    • Don 22 July, 2014 at 11:14 pm - Reply

      Hi Mary Anne!
      I remember you. I suggest you go back and read your own post from 21 June 2011.
      It will hopefully inspire you………good luck.
      Keep posting.

      • Mary Anne 25 July, 2014 at 5:22 pm - Reply

        Hi Don! Thank you and how did you remember my post?! I have come a long way from there and a lot of water under the bridge. Feeling really good again now and well back on track.

        How are you doing? You must have been clear a long while now?

        You are amazingly supportive – thank you again
        MA xx

  34. Noelle 9 July, 2014 at 3:26 pm - Reply

    I just recently started drinking heavily about a year ago. It started as social drinking then it went to a glass or two of wine at home to drinking straight vodka everyday. I realized that I was getting out of control and called myself calling back by switching to wine(everyday). It didn’t help because I just drank more quantities of wine. Somehow I landed right back to vodka. I had no desire to stop because I wasn’t hurting anyone. But Over the last few months my drinking has been the worst. I drink so much at a time that I black out. Can’t remover anything from the previous day. Last night was probably the scariest it’s gotta which is why I’m on this site. I got drunk in a bar that I never go to with men I didn’t know. Although nothing sexually happened I woke up this morning feeling ashamed. I drove home with no shoes, threw up and cried uncontrollably all while my 12 year old daughter looked on. She had to help me in bed and cleaned up my mess. I’ve never felt so low and ashamed. I’m lost right now.

    • Lesley 15 July, 2014 at 9:43 am - Reply

      Dear Noelle,
      Oh my goodness, what an awful visual your story brought up to me – of my own daughter cleaning up my barf and cleaning up me – the shame, shame, shame, of being a drunk and having one’s child, one’s precious child that used to be at our breast, that we made all kinds of promises to, now relegated to cleaning up our puke. How totally effing sad, isn’t it?

      Yes, there we are at our child’s birth, happy and wishing everything wonderful for them in the entire world: next thing you know, they are making excuses for us and cleaning up our puke.

      Let me tell you something – I got pregnant with a man I was living with, and he was happy, and things were great. Then, about halfway through, he suddenly changed his mind – moved back in with mummy and daddy – said he wasn’t sure if that’s what he wanted after all. I never stopped wanting my little girl – I just didn’t realize how hard it was going to be on my own.

      But some things were good, and I tried to not to let the demon of alcohol into my life, but I wasn’t strong enough against it. When you hear about ‘spirits’, (hard liquor), it sounds as if they only exist there, but that isn’t true; all alcohol has spirits, alcohol content is actually the amount of ‘spirits’ it contains. Alcohol is evil. This very email has been hijacked three times now while I’ve been trying to write it!!! They don’t want you to hear anything good!! But someone very good recently said to me “Jesus has ALL authority!!” Period.

      You have to be stronger than strong, for your child, and for yourself, and CLAIM your right to a GOOD life, and REBUKE all evil forces from your life. Find a good group to get involved with. This is MORTALLY important for you. Loving you now, Lesley.

    • Pauly 20 July, 2014 at 12:52 am - Reply

      I love to be drunk…but it leads to unbelievable lows in my life.
      I remained drink free for 5 years once and it was possible because I sunk so low. I know you can use the pitiful times as inspiration, a place you never want to go back to, it can be a springboard. I know this is true, and even though I know it’s true I still drink too much. I struggle daily not to wipe myself out. Madness!
      Good luck

  35. Lsoko 8 July, 2014 at 11:05 pm - Reply


    This is my first time acknowledging I have a problem.

    My problem is not habitual drinking, I am able to refuse a drink, however when I do start drinking I never stop until the bar closes, or I run out of money.

    My levels of consumption are quite frankly ridiculous. This affects me in a few ways. For example, this past saturday I drank somewhere in the region of 20-24 double whiskeys (a total of about 2 bottles). And continued to drink all day sunday too, I have no idea what my total consumption was.

    Sometimes I have huge problems by starting to drink as soon as I wake up in the morning, and will continue until I have drunk everything in sight again.
    I am spending incredible amounts of money and often black out.

    My hangovers (if they are indeed hangovers, or maybe withdrawal symptoms) are unbearable, sweats, nausea, and perhaps worst of all a general feeling of dread and remorse for what I have done. It is now Tuesday night and I am still feeling depressed and anxious.

    The damage I am doing affects me greatly. I am not violent, sleazy, aggressive or badly behaved when I drink, but my inability to stop is starting to affect me. The more I drink, the more my tolerance increases, which in turn costs my body and bank account an incredible amount.

    Is anyone else in the same, or similar position to me? I would appreciate the advice.


    • Noelle 9 July, 2014 at 3:27 pm - Reply

      I can soooo relate and I too am acknowledging my problem for the first time.

    • boy103 15 July, 2014 at 11:33 pm - Reply

      I can completely relate to this I am in the exact same predicament. I too can refuse a drink but when I do decide to drink I can’t stop and I think it’s a slippery slop as alcohol is a progressive thing and it may get to the stage where you might never want to stop which is a daunting thought. I’ve tried moderation drinking for the last 7 years and it’s always been the same outcome drinking myself into oblivion so I think this best thing is sobriety at least then my life will change..for the better and not for the worst.

  36. libra26 6 July, 2014 at 2:42 pm - Reply

    Hi, new to the site but see myself in all the posts. May we all tap into our inner strength and get over this awful disease

  37. michael 6 July, 2014 at 12:29 pm - Reply

    Hello im just reading these posts and am recognising a similar story to my own…..and have gone one week today without drinking and just thought I would state it for the record….

    • Lesley 15 July, 2014 at 11:45 am - Reply

      hello Micheal,
      A week to me is as good as a month!!! You are doing great!!!! Let nothing deter you from your path, because you know what you have to do, right? Every single day you wake up without a hangover, or a drug hangover, is a day to rejoice, in the name of Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!! Loving you now, Lesley xxx

  38. justine 23 June, 2014 at 10:41 pm - Reply

    im in such a mess!!!! if i know im not drinking one night,im in such a bad mood!!!! drunk now,but so need to stop.xx

    • justine 23 June, 2014 at 10:44 pm - Reply

      And im getting fat!!!!!!

  39. fiona 15 June, 2014 at 3:44 am - Reply

    Hi everyone,
    im a functioning alcoholic for 20 years beer is my drink, ive been in hospital twice because of it .first time I had a blackout and fell down the stairs from the subway busted my whole face, no work for 1 week. Second time I tripped going down to the subway and busted my foot out of work for 2 weeks all because of the drink. I drink 12 cans every nite of the week. it effects my job, my friendships, my health, my husband is fed up seeing me with a can in my hand all the time, as I always argue with him all the time. I feel very alone in this and would do anything to stop this disease. I may stop for 4 days sometimes but then something will happen at work or in life to get me stressed and ill go straight to the store and by beer and im back at the beginning again. I don’t know what to do to stop im so tired of it and how it effect me and my families lives. I feel if I don’t stop it is going to kill me

  40. Marina 11 June, 2014 at 8:27 pm - Reply

    Hello Everyone,
    I’ve been drinking since I was 16 and now I’m 31. My drinking problem started I feel once I turned 21 because I could purchase it on my own. I drink mostly beer, no hard stuff but I can drink up to 10 beers in a night and I am disgusted with myself and ashamed almost everyday because no one at work knows my secret, and my family has no idea how bad it’s gotten. My husband is the only one who sees it firsthand and he rarely says anything because he loves me so much and I get defensive when he does. Usually I only drink Friday thru Sunday but there are weeks where I start Thursday and drink thru Monday. I’ll drink anywhere between 4-10 beers but usually 7 or 8. If I have any liquor in the house I’ll sneak shots of it once I’m buzzed and hide the bottle back in the cupboard so my husband doesn’t see it, even though I know he does. At this point I’ve been saturating my body with beer for so long (I’m 5’2″ 127lbs) that it’s majorly affected my sleep. I’ve had insomnia off and on for 7 years but it’s at its worst now. I’ve had to take a whole week off of work because I was not sleeping AT ALL after I tried to quit drinking. Anxiety and insomnia are my main withdrawal symptons and I’ve been on xanax and some other pills for sleep and anxiety. They help but then I face becoming dependent on those too! It’s so hard and I want to be able to not have to drink just because it’s the weekend but it’s been my routine for so long that I reason with myself every Friday and end up drinking all weekend. I don’t really get hungover but I just feel tired the next day and can’t wait until 5’oclock so I can start drinking again. On mornings when I do feel real shitty I drink a few beers or whatever I have in the house just to even myself out. I feel so disgusting and guilty and I find myself wondering if the checker at the grocery store does the same thing? Or maybe one of my co-workers shares my problem? Then I wonder why I can’t be like the normal people who just go thru life without the obsession of drinking, having a few beers at a barbecue or at a restaurant then going home and not having to drink thru the night? I can control myself but it’s really hard and I usually give in because it’s easier and more “fun”. Yeah right, fun. Thanks for listening, this is the first time I’ve put this in writing and I’m glad I did. The idea of going sober forever is terrifying so I’m telling myself I won’t drink until Fathers Day… let’s see how I do.

    • John 17 June, 2014 at 10:05 pm - Reply

      You basically told my story for the last 3 or 4 years… verbatim. It started with 4 or 5 and now i am up to 10 or 12 (usually 12) and then i want more. I tell myself in the morning “ok no more i am done” then by the end of the day i go and pick up more. So how did you do with your goal of fathers day? I told myself i wasnt going to drink on father day but then i thought hmmm its fathers day i should enjoy it right? I didn’t drink yesterday and am trying to not do it for 30 days to maybe “reset” myself in hopes i can be one of those folks who can stop at one or two social drinks. I really want a beer though and i am getting off work so i figured i would google “I want a beer stop me” and that led me here. Sober forever is very terrifying, i enjoy drinking, but i am beginning to think can i enjoy drinking? Good luck to you.

      • Marina 23 June, 2014 at 7:50 pm - Reply

        Hi John wow yes you sound just like me… I’ve actually gone sober for 30 days before and it does help but I think I was only able to do it for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, meaning I knew I’d be able to drink again. I reason with myself about drinking ALL THE TIME and I’ll cut back for a while then I gradually get back up to 8-10 beers. The week before last I did really good I had 3 beers Friday, 4 on Saturday, then on Fathers Day I pretty much drank throughout the day because we were celebrating, right? I actually drank every day last week about 5-6 beers each day then I totally binged Friday-Sunday. I’m feeling so exhausted and down on myself right now. Have you read the article here on sleep John? How do you sleep? I read going to bed drunk or with alcohol in you can actually deprived you of your REM sleep! How are you doing on your 30 days sober? I’m telling myself I’m not going to drink all week as of now…

    • scott 5 July, 2014 at 8:37 pm - Reply

      im a drunk dont do anything i know i am missing out.married 35 yrs . great daughter some one helpme

      • Lesley 15 July, 2014 at 12:15 pm - Reply

        Hi Scott,
        You sound like the female version of me, only I’ve already lost my daughter, and I don’t believe we can ever have a relationship again. It’s just gone on for waaay too long now – no recovery expected at this point.

        Alcohol is a true demon, that takes and takes and takes. Your self-respect, your personal pride (caring what you look like!), your dreams, and for me, it has taken my little girl. She is now a totally different person. I have no idea.

        But Scott, it sounds like you really any truly need to get in touch with someone in your own community – push pride to the side and please contact AA or your reverend or SOMEONE, just Please, DO IT!!

  41. Anto 9 June, 2014 at 12:10 pm - Reply

    Hi, I’m the wife of a man who has alcohol problem but don’t admit cause “he doesn’t drink everyday”…yah, each 2/3 days for thousands of different reasons he has to drink: cause in construction business, cause too much pressure on him, cause friends, cause happy, cause sad… We really love each others but this shit will bring me away cause I can’t stand longer worrying about him each time he doesn’t come home for hours or not answer to the phone or if he answer I hear him in such a horrible alcohol time!!! We are about 40, want to get married and children… But I don’t know how to stop him: he already had car accident (3 days coma), broke car, loose telephones/home Kees…, loose the way to come home, loose himself… I’m trying with all my forces and love to help him and talk him about…but he says he has no problem … Please somebody can explain me why I’m not so smart to understand him and find the good way for help him????????

  42. Murray 9 June, 2014 at 4:44 am - Reply

    Hi everyone.
    I just stumbled on this sight and have read all your postings. I am 60 years old and have struggled with alcohol for years now. I have quit totally for extended periods of time but keep going back to the drink. What a mess we make of our lives by the decisions we make! Hang in there everyone and do not be too hard on yourself if you fall off the wagon. This is kind of like riding a horse, if you fall off you just get back on!take care every one of you and I will keep reading your postings.

  43. Liz 8 June, 2014 at 1:43 pm - Reply

    I can drink close a 12 pack or more. I know it’s no excuse both sides of my family were drinkers. I don’t do it every day. I went six days without a drink. I get depressed I’m on med’s for it. I’m going along good something happens. Here we go again.

  44. Liz 8 June, 2014 at 1:19 pm - Reply

    I binge drink can’t stop at one. Not every day. I only do it on Saturday’s. I work during the week. I have to stay alert for my job. This hit home I dropped a glass pitcher of ice tea all over the floor. I need to stop!!!

  45. OC girl 6 June, 2014 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    I am a highly functioning alcoholic. I have a beautiful apartment by the ocean in Cali, an amazing job, a daughter who is the pride of my life, who loves The Lord and loves me to death. Yet I drink because I have anxiety and insecurity. I am on antidepressants, hoping lex apron and Wellbutrin will help. So far – no luck. 2 bottles of whine per nite, hiding from my daughter, yet she sees it; missing work… I just feel I can’t change. I do not want to kill myself (and I won’t) but I wouldn’t mind if somehow my life would just end. Cause it’s pathetic and I’m powerless over the addiction.

  46. elo 5 June, 2014 at 2:11 pm - Reply

    Hello everyone,am very glad to have come across this site as i have been an alcoholic the past 15 years,tryin to stop but just cant,don’t know what next to do and to am only 35 years old tho i feel like 60.recently i have been havin sime health issues as in tacchycardia and i do feel it is alcohol related tho the medics say am fine but i couldn’t bring myself to tell them what i know its the cause,thinkin that i can stop the addiction on my own,and i have been trying but just can’t stop,am overweight and i know i look old thanks to alcolism.somebody help me.can’t do this on my own

  47. Jayne 2 June, 2014 at 6:14 pm - Reply

    Hi everyone. Hope everyone is doing ok. I’ve had a problem with bloody drink since my very first sip, about 12 years old. I’m turning 30 in a few months and I’m so sick of drinking. I don’t drink everyday, 2 or 3 times a week, but when I start I can’t stop, I keep going until I literally can’t do it anymore. The next day is the worst, the guilt is terrible and I can’t stop crying, but I keep doing this over and over again. I’m so lonely. I have friends and family around me, but no one knows anything. I work and go to college. There’s no one to talk to. I’m worried about my health, my stomach feels like its on fire. I’m so sick of this being a secret, so it’s nice to actually write this down. Good luck everyone.

  48. kevin 25 May, 2014 at 4:30 pm - Reply

    hey. love reading your guys post. makes me feel like im not alone with this. I been drinking beer everyday for past 3 years and cant stop. trying hard but always give in. I wanna quit so bad for my kids. Im a single dad and get them often and drink around them cause i cant control myself or my urges. if i dont drink i get bad anxiety, jitters, shakes and cant sleep.I try to cut back but always want one more. I know the deal and been thru addiction with herion.So hard to get to meeting with work and overtime and kids when im not working. I just wanna get off for good so i can be there for my kids. Any feed back will help

  49. Adam 19 May, 2014 at 9:14 am - Reply

    Alcohol is a terrible demon and destroys lives. I’ve gone through over 2 yrs of on and off binge drinking. I relapsed on the weekend but I am out of bed, at work and sober. Everyday in a new day with Jesus and I know he has a plan for my life – i just need to make the right decisions.

    So today I start all over again.

    • Lesley 19 May, 2014 at 5:10 pm - Reply

      Hi Adam,
      That’s really all we can do – keep trying over and over and over, and rely on Jesus. I keep trying again and again, and when I’m sober and feel good, I don’t understand why I wanted to drink in the first place. The hangovers and the damage to my body isn’t worth the few hours of escaping from emotions and reality. It’s really just so pointless, isn’t it?

  50. Lesley 13 May, 2014 at 12:53 am - Reply

    I’ve been an alcoholic for years and can honestly say that every crappy thing that has happened in my life has been alcohol related. I’ve lost jobs and relationships, got charged with drunk driving, have had awful blackouts, and worst of all, my daughter has not spoken to me for years. I don’t even know where she is living.

    I’ve injured myself several times while drunk and was taken to the hospital once for smashing my face into a cupboard and ripping my eyebrow open. I’ve done two stints in rehab. Then last summer, I smashed my head so badly that I was taken to emergency and had to have nine staples in my head.

    I’ve wasted so much money on alcohol, and more money on cigarettes because I smoke more when I drink. What have I done to my poor body? I used to have a nice figure and now I’m fat and I feel old and ugly. I’m so mad about all the days I wasted laying in bed with a hangover. I wish alcohol was never invented.

    • Bella 16 May, 2014 at 1:54 pm - Reply

      Hello Leslie,

      Don’t be too hard on yourself. I can only imagine how hard it must be on you. I wish you the very best and remember it’s never too late to stop, you can change and you can become healthy and love your body again and be proud of your life. I feel very sorry for you and your daughter, my mom and I have a similar problem where she’s been drinking for years and I just become so angry with her and not talk to her and I simply can’t help it. But I know I’m always ready to forgive and I’m sure your daughter would be too, especially if she sees that you’re trying to make the change in your life. I wish you the best and good luck.


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