Withdrawal / Kindling

[faith2be]

Hi mr G.
Sorry i missed your post.
How are you today?

[DaveyBoy]

Hi All

I am technically on day 2 and its 1:49am. I can't sleep at all, have bad anxiety and some shaking.

Yesterday afternoon after waking up following a 5day bender I was vomiting, had the runs and severe shaking after drinking Orange juice. It was horrific and I seriously considered going to hospital.

[Shadowlad]

Hi Daveyboy,

These first hours can feel dreadful and i just wanted you to know that you are being heard
Hang on in there the best you can , and try and hold onto the thought that the bad anxiety will settle in time and this is really the best thing you can do for yourself.
DB, if you are at all worried about your symptoms then do go to the hospital. Only you know the quantity that you have drank before stopping, and if you are in the UK you could ring the NHS helpline (111) to get medical advice on your current state ?

Take care.

[DaveyBoy]

Hi Shadowlad

Thanks so much for your advice ...if my symptoms get any worse I will ring 111. In hindsight I definitely should have gone to the hospital yesterday when I woke.

I can't believe I've done this to myself.

Thank you

[Shadowlad]

DB,

Once the worst is over you have a chance to break the addiction cycle for good if you want to. On BE there is all the support, encouragement and 'tools' to help us on our way. But we have to really want to and be prepared to accept the tough days. One thing is for sure, we are never alone here,and there is no shortage of good, understanding people to help us.

[DaveyBoy]

Hi Shadowlad

I really want to break the addiction for good. I know that I can't be so 'self-sufficient' to do it, i need the support of friendly people like yourself who understand the addiction and how it can lead to dark places like this one.

I definitely want to break it now before my life falls apart

[Shadowlad]

It can be done Davey, it really can

Right now you only have to concentrate on getting through the next hour by hour, or 10 mins by 10 mins if that sounds better.
Are you able to eat now and drink water without vomiting ? If so then perhaps you can find some chocolate or other sugary foods , this helps a lot.
Can you think of anything else that may ease your anxiety a little ?

[DaveyBoy]

Morning Shadowlad

I had to close my eyes and hold on till the anxiety lessened. I eventually got some on/off sleep. The sweats aren't as bad today and the anxiety has halved. I still feel rubbish but not as rubbish as day 1.

I'm drinking water and holding it down fine now.

Day 2 and I must hold on again

Thanks so much for your support, means a lot to know someone is there when in the dark place

[DaveyBoy]

Hi Gerard, thanks will do that now. I'm still a mess so not going out today I don't think.

[Shadowlad]

Hey there Davey

Well done for sticking with it , glad things are a little better. Sometimes just knowing someone is there helps a lot doesn't it ? Good advice there from Gerard, you need to get your strength up, with vitamins and food and fluids. Each hour is a step closer to feeling better, and this dark time will soon pass

[DaveyBoy]

Hey Shadowlad, It certainly does help I'm sticking with it and riding this out. I'll have to get up and get out of the house tomorrow though.

[Shadowlad]

If you can get some fresh air tomorrow, that may be good for you. Take it easy though, small steps x

[DaveyBoy]

Wow day 2 and I've started sweating profusely I have waves of paranoia and anxiety that keep coming over me.

Will do Shadowlad, definitely getting out for fresh air tomorrow, starting to get cabin fever now.

[Zandra 1]

Found this 'Kindling in withdrawal'' it also explains that its not just Alcohol it relates to but Alcohol and drugs, which Alcohol is anyway

Zandra xxxxx

well http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicatio...22-1/25-34.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[clanger]

22 hours after my last drink and I have restless legs, slight palpitations, sweating occasionally and anxiety. This morning at about 09:30 when I was driving into work I thought I was going to pass out with dizziness, palpitations and profuse sweating. I had to leave work, and these symptoms continued into the late afternoon (I felt so bad I went to a walk-in clinic who referred me to the GP - the GP said I should be fine in a few days). I've never been so terrified in my life.

[Shadowlad]

Hello Clanger

I understand the anxiety and fear. It is good you have seen a GP. Has he given you any librium or anything to take the edge off ? Please don't worry, it is not going to last forever, as horrid as it is

[clanger]

Thanks for your words of support, Shadowlad. The GP didn't give me anything - just took my blood pressure (it was ridiculously high, as was my pulse), blood glucose (normal) and asked about how much I'd been drinking etc. She was very pleasant, but I don't think she'd had much experience with alcohol or addiction, to be honest. The blood pressure has dropped considerably down to 140/90 ish, and the pulse seems to have normalised as well.

I just feel like such an idiot and I'm worried for my overall health (as I'm overweight as well, and do little exercise). I hope I'm not too late to turn it around.

[Shadowlad]

Its always good to try to turn it around, our health is important and we only get so many chances with it. If you feel that poorly again then don't hesitate to go back to the walk in centre or A&E. I have had to do that in the past and it doesn't matter about feeling silly, it is better to be safe in these early days after a high level of alcohol consumption. You are the best judge of that as you know the levels that you have been drinking and how you feel physically and mentally. Do take care and know that you will get through this and we have all been there

Much love, nicky x

[clanger]

Thank you, nicky .

[clanger]

Replying to myself ( ) but want to note down somewhere for the record and for my own accountability the first night of withdrawals.

I went to bed at about 20:00 as I was exhausted (probably due to lack of quality of sleep the night prior, as I was effectively passed out on the sofa until 5am). I still felt quite shaky and hot, and would have waves of dizziness even lying down. I left a fan on beside my bed all night, and took a couple of litres of mineral water with me (drunk most of it - I think I drank 5 or 6 litres yesterday - couldn't get enough of it!). I couldn't sleep (anxious, jittery), but eventually managed to drop off just after 3am. I've woken up at 05:15, so only two hours sleep - work is going to be a joy today! I must have been sweating a lot as my nightware is wet, though it's not so bad as to have soaked all the bedding. A change of pyjamas and bed linen is definitely in order tonight.

I'm going to drink some more water, have a pee, and see if I can drop off for an hour. I need to be up for 7 for work. I'll check my blood pressure and blood glucose when I get up.

So that's me about 32 hours after my last drink. I'm hoping the worst of it is over, but let's see.

I have no desire to ever drink again as it stands, but I fear that will be relatively short-lived. My habit is to abstain for a number of weeks, and then think "what the heck" and the merry-go-round starts again (only worse, and more dangerous each time). I hope the withdrawal is a wake up call for me. I'm wondering about trying CBT counselling or something to help stay off it (I've never had any type of treatment or therapy before). When I've abstained for a period of weeks, I've felt brilliant. I need to find a way to feel like that for the rest of my life, rather than just the next few weeks.

Still scared and a bit in shock at how bad things have got, I think.