Positive things I notice when I don't drink

[Tessa]

Hi folks
just thought this might be a good thing to start, in the hope that it will give us some incentive to keep up our goals whatever they are. I find i forget the good things about NOT drinking so much, and remember the "good" things of drinking so much more vividly...

I have had the odd glass of wine since Friday (not sat as was sick) but i went through a bad phase last week and was drinking during the day, never got drunk, but god is that a reason to drink and condone day time drinking ....no, but some of us do it anyway. I was good Thursday onwards and only drank in the evening, and these are the things i noticed.

My eyes are white again, and bright, not grey looking. I always had and still do (god knows why) compliments about my eyes, so the greying effect alcohol has on them really gets to me....good incentive to keep up drinking less.
I am happier.
More confident.
I have more energy.
Wake up with less worries in my head.
I sleep better due to the above.

anyone else noticed things? Even if its only been a day or two of change in alcohol intake (its only been 3 for me...so i have a long way to go), but i already see a change....i just thought this would keep up our spirits and give us something to look at when we are feeling a bit down or not in control of the old booze.
Tessa

[Tessa]

you are right marshmaiden, they are the window to your soul, i dont put it all down to the reduction of alcohol, with my eyes i mean, it is because i feel happier, which probably has to do with the lack of alcohol, so therefore i am talking a load of bollocks here, its all to do with the alcohol! Anyway, thought it was a good thing to start and give us something to look back on or look forward to. I cant give advice on the bit about wine/alcohol and putting on weight, as it doesnt do that with me, nothing does, i keep a constant weight no matter what...isnt that a pain in the arse or narse as Anna would say no incentive there for me. If it is alcohol that makes people put on weight, then why arent i putting on weight? Dont get me wrong, i am not skinny or anything, just...um ...a nice size...Alcohol is the culprit or not, question for the day me thinks

Fiendish, welcome aboard. Get the Kudzu, it cant hurt. But i think the one they recommend on this site is the best one. I dont know though, just going by the contents it sounds to be the best.

Ok i need to start taking my kudzu again, so if anyone feels like reminding me tomorrow please do....i am not good at that...i seem to be looking at it everyday and saying, you aint gonna help me, you didnt stop me from drinking, which is absurd of course, it does help i know, i just need a kick up the butt to make me take it and have patience, not something i do at the best of times....patience i mean, kicking me up the butt well i havent tried that yet
Tessa

[Tessa]

Hi Jaycee
keep it up, i go on the forum to keep my mind off it too, um noticeable from all my postings LOL but seriously, not only do i do that, but i also slip up and its ok, this forum helps in many ways, if it helps to keep our minds off reaching for the bottle, or from drinking that one glass too many then thats ok, we are on the right road. Am here if you need some support in distracting yourself, we can for sure help each other as i need a bit of distraction too, am still working but need the distraction of opening the bottle
Need to keep thinking how good it feels the next day after either drinking nothing or just a few glasses....
Tessa

[Cheryl]

Hiya,
Welcome to the new ones...
Im here Jaycee...but continue with your recipe,while your typing your keeping occupied...

[Tessa]

hey jaycee
am here...how are you doing.....have you managed to resist? if not no worries, but maybe we can all try to help out and keep to the few glasses we would like to be at? am trying myself, so could do with some support.....
hope to hear from you....
Tessa

[Tessa]

Jaycee
what do you have planned for dinner tonight.......keep busy, cooking is a great way to do that. its funny, or rather interesting, most people on the forum love a glass of wine while cooking and i havent had that feeling yet, been cooking all my life, i try to enjoy a glass while cooking but never seem to find the time, isnt that sad, i just dont seem to do it, i wonder why. god knows i do it at other times though, its really interesting how different we all are, and yet so similar. When i take a bath and try to be normal, haha, i mean like those movies we see, they have a nice hot bath and take a glass of wine with them, i do it every time, and dont take ONE sip of the damned stuff.

I am going to be very honest here tonight and say this: as some of you may know i have been a bit ill from a cold in the chest since Friday. I now have almost lost my voice, and am happy about it. go figure. yes, thats my "thing" i wrote about it on another section, goodness knows which one, but anyway, the one with the psychiatrist stuff last week. I just didnt expand on the real problem. Now i am doing it. who cares if anyone puts 2 and 2 together. So my voice is croaky and i am happy, cos then its not shaky and disfunctional. Wish i had this voice all the time. oh well, thats my 5 cents of being honest... or rather opening up. I use wine because it "gets rid" of my voice problem. If i have a cold i dont need it. However, that happens maybe once a year if i am lucky. Hence my alcohol problem.
p.s. not in any pain from loosing voice, am feeling health wise really good.
Jaycee, YES as soon as i eat i have very little desire for alcohol, totally the same for me, but i hold off with eating because i know that i wont want to drink, madness. So i just do it and then i dont drink. glad to hear you have the same thing!
Tessa

[Tessa]

Hey Marshmaiden
keep strong, i know its hard, i have had a glass of wine, and hope to keep it to two glasses. if you need some moral support, let me know, i am online.
remember how you felt on friday, i hate to say that, i really do, but god if it helps you to stay off the booze and accomplish what you want, then i will say it.
am here anyway to help where i can....
Tessa

[Cheryl]

Right Guys! (am watching dancing on ice,so am typing slowly!)
First of all ..noticable things when not drinking:
Definately brighter eyes (youve all noticed that),a 'proper' sleep,no furred up tongue and waking up dry as a bone,no hangover/headache,toilet habits back to 'normal',sweats (Im menopausal) significantly reduced,night cramps gone,and best of all normal functioning,going out and enjoying the day/night without constantly thinking about getting home for that drink! (I have in the past taken a small coke bottle filled half with bacardi and half coke out with me just to stop the shakes!) disappearing to the loo on a regular basis insisting my tummy was bad! Now how desperate was that!
So come on all of you,willpower....you all know how to cope now with your own urges(ohhh forgot that one! )
You are really lucky to have this support,I wish it had been here a couple of years ago! May have saved me a great deal of money!
Tessa,and Jaycee,Jan and 'Marshmaiden and everyone else browsing,
I dont go to bed till late,so will be here if anyone needs to talk or just as a distraction...pleeeeese just think how great you will feel in the morning with day one under your belt!
And for the record week 7 is approaching! Well done ME!!! (Its you guys helping me!)

[Tessa]

Hi Jaycee
i guess that message came up after i posted to marshmaiden.
what can i say, i am glad my honesty helped you to join this forum is a god send, thats all i can say. my voice is something that is hard to explain. And i was afraid of explaining it here in case someone i knew would recognise me, and why should i care, if they are here then they will be seeking help also, so its ok. I "think" it started from childhood where kids made fun of my accent, i moved from a boarding school to another school through my own choice, parents were not too happy about it, but it was what i wanted. Anyway, perhaps it came from that. Posh old english accent. I used to thrive from/at, not sure been away too long! being on the stage and doing the plays and being the narrator. Not something i could contemplate now. Basically i cant communicate with people vocally, the words just dont come out, or rather my voice just doesnt cooperate. So...i have had to make it work the best i can. Which means i shop where i dont have to ask for anything, i smoke, and fortunately over here we have machines that you can buy cigarettes from (do you have that in the UK?), so i dont have to ask, but i do have to always make sure i have change. I have to arrange my life around my voice. Its not constant, but its so frequent that it does take over my life. That is how i came to the use of alcohol to make this problem easier. Nobody really understands it, and i dont expect them to, but for me its a daily burden that i wish would just go away, as i know that the alcohol abuse would go away with it. But...my close friends do not judge it and accept it, they dont give a shit, but i do, i know they love me for who i am and couldnt give a toss about my voice, but i do give a toss, and thats the decisive point i think.

Its even harder for me as everyone that knows me sees me and remembers me as a really confident strong person, which i always was, but they dont see that i am no longer that, and that is something i find hard to live with, i have lost my personality. They dont know because if i feel my voice wont cooperate, i just dont answer when they call, and i call them back once i have had a glass of wine and feel strong enough to speak to them, even though they wouldnt care if i called them and wasnt doing ok with my voice, the perfectionist in me i guess, re: the times report today.
sorry, once again a way too long post.
Tessa

[Tessa]

ok Jaycee
its a deal, i have about 1 inch left, and i wont pour anymore....ok i swear i will do it......get online and confirm woman!

[Tessa]

Hey Cheryl

Oooh dancing on ice, sounds good. Cheryl I cant even say in words how I admire you. I don’t want to give up, I want to reduce and get it in control and I rely on your advice to help in getting me there..was that a proper english sentence… whatever, my goal is to keep my bright white eyes and all the rest I mentioned that is good when I don’t drink. I want to have a 3rd glass of wine tonight but I wont, I will keep up my willpower, which I think is non-existent and do the bargain with Jaycee. Any tips would be most appreciated to keep me off that 3rd glass. God week 7, you lucky thing!

Jaycee the bargain is on..........i will not drink my 3rd glass i promise........
Tessa

[Cheryl]

Tessa,
Ive had to read your last posting three times before I could get any understanding of what you are trying to say...
We all have 'hang ups' and Im sure your voice is not as bad as you probably think it is,but I do understand that if these issues bother you then they are issues...
Its taken a brave step to even approach your concerns with us so well done for that,I think that the confidence thing is paramount here again with the alcohol..
You are drinking to block out your feeling of being 'different',being in a different country to your homeland is also a major factor (was that your choice?)
When you come home do you still feel this way...or do you feel more accepted?
I dont really understand what is exactly wrong,cos you havnt made that clear,but apart from the 'lost voice' at the moment I understand you are feeling better...
Hope the second glass is finished now and washed up!
Keep it up you are doing really well....
Dancing on Ice is nearly finished until the results later so bet the others will be back on now!
pps...as you are obviously slim (lucky devil) have something sweet when craving...your body is saying give me sugar! It helps like you said before eating something helps...

[Cheryl]

Tessa,pppps
just noticed you have 'valued member' under your name now!
And its true!

[Cheryl]

Hi Jaycee,
Tessa is off somewhere so Youll have to put up with me!
Never mind, you have done really well today so dont get downhearted..I understand the work thing..I ended up hating Sunday night just because Monday was round the corner.so used to drown my sorrows and then regret it Monday morning at work,sucking peppermints like mad in case anyone smelt my breath!
Oh well it pays the rent! thats what I had to keep telling myself.
Anyway try not to have anymore Im sure when Tessa gets back she will understand...

[Cheryl]

Far from it Jaycee,
like Ive said lots of times it helps me!
go and sort out your 6 sigma?! thats sounds interesting!/?!
Chat later when you have done...

[Cheryl]

Hi Marshmaiden'just gonna ask how you were doing,And I agree with your comments to Tessa...
Shes a star!

[Jan]

Marshmaiden,
That was beautiful and so true. Tessa is LOVELY.
And you're not so bad yourself....

Still sober? Me too. We are doing well.
XX

[Cheryl]

Good Luck Jaycee..
Hope all goes well...

[Cheryl]

HEY GUYS,
Im really pleased with you ,Sunday is nearly at an end and you have done brilliantly! Well done!
I can feel some new 'members' coming on!!!!!!!!
If it helps, the first few days are the worst,then it gets easier,but you still need support (thats why Im here--for support for myself I mean) and sometimes the 'urge' gets unbearable but it goes away quite quickly if you can resist...
Not gonna preach just keep at it! Give yourselves a star!
ps I dont have a 'posh' voice so can't comment on that one,(do hate my accent though )but maybe folk are jealous of a good upbringing,and people tend to unfortunately take the piss out of things they dont have,shame really that we cant all be liberal thinkers,and treat people with respect...

[Tessa]

Good morning lovely people
Sorry for not getting back after my last posting yesterday, boyfriend came over so I decided to log off as we don’t get to see each other much due to lots of work. Firstly thanks to everyone so much for the lovely compliments. We are all great people and it is evident we all have so much to give. Isn’t it nice to be surrounded by so many nice people, there isn’t a bad word spoken, nothing but goodness. Marshmaiden, thank you for your kind words, I will keep them in mind whenever I feel my voice is not cooperating with me. Hat off to you for staying off the booze yesterday, be proud of yourself, and enjoy the day out today with your sis. I had no idea there is such a thing as a valued member! I will share that “title” with all of you.

Cheryl, it was my choice to leave the UK, and I haven’t ever regretted it for a minute. I did notice that something inside of me was very different when I went back for a holiday to the UK recently. I do feel a bit like a foreigner when I am there though, but I gradually get my bearings and feel comfortable. However, I feel most comfortable here as I have been here so long. That doesn’t mean I am happier here though. I noticed that in the UK my voice was 100 times better and also like I said the desire to drink was almost non-existent. Sorry about the rubbish explanation of my voice, it’s really hard to explain. I’ll try to figure out at some point how to really explain it.

I don’t eat sweet things, never had a desire for them….so I will nibble on savoury things instead….better than giving in to the craving of wine. I did stick to 2 glasses yesterday, but probably would have had one more had my boyfriend not come over. We were planning on watching a dvd, and the dvd player decided to quit functioning, so I didn’t think of the 3rd glass as I was so p….d off about the dvd player!!

Jaycee…no shame on this forum…you gave your best and that’s all that counts. We will have plenty more “deals” like this, so don’t worry about it. No regrets. It’s a new day, and yesterday is over and done with so no point in looking back. Apart from that, you met your own challenge, and didn’t open the 2nd bottle, so you made it as far as I am concerned. Sorry you had to deal with something similar to me just because of an accent, how ignorant people can be. But now we have a “good” place to come and share our thoughts. Good luck today, it will be fine, let us know how it went once you are finished and have a bit of a break…will be thinking of you.

Fiendish, thanks for your comments…again, its just pure ignorance when people judge us by something as unimportant as an accent. They have no idea what damage they can do to a person, life-long damage. I too used to put on another accent, and I think that is where the voice problem really began, because that wasn’t me and I have been told by a professional singer that I have used my vocal chords in the wrong way, to the point of damaging them, for years and years. When I speak with the posh accent, it doesn’t happen, and I use them correctly. Because that’s me. I didn’t do a drastic change in accent, fairly slight one, but that has had damaging affects. And I have done it for so many years now that when I speak with my “real” voice/accent I feel like an idiot as I am not used to it, even though that is what is natural for my voice and vocal chords.

Well that’s my 5 cents for now….am not feeling too chipper today, cold now in my nose, and have practically lost my voice, which of course I am happy about. I have masses of projects to start/finish so I will be around. I don’t bother logging out of the forum, as I am on the internet all day anyway, but just for info, it does time you out after a while, for security reasons.

Wonder if Anna is back today….I think MDS1 is only back mid week or something as the boys are on holiday.
Have a great day everyone…
Tessa