Regrouping

[Bela]

By request, here's a thread for folks who have managed a good spell of not drinking, with only the rare blip, and find find starting over with day one on the challenges threads discouraging. (One blip does not a relapse make.) Or perhaps you are not motivated by counting days and prefer your own measure of success. Or maybe you are just looking for a landing pad while you reconsider your goals.

[George]

Good idea Bela, I've very recently fallen by the wayside and restarting is a difficult thing. A lot of folk I think will find this ideal, myself included

[Maddie]

Brilliant thread Bela!!! I think this'll be a good place for me and many others to post!

Maddie X

[zarajenkin]

Great idea - good to have a landing pad as that is just what i need right now. Over the last two years I have - mainly - been a non drinker - with every few weeks 'rewarding' myself, or 'having to let off steam'.....
whatever the reason not what I want to do.

Anyhow - here regrouping and taking things day by day at the time. Feel I really lose a grip on things if I drink and am very unhappy with myself. At same time know that I am here on BE today, that i accept I have an alcohol problem and I want to do something about it - so that is better than not thinking I have a problem - which was the case for many years.

Sending support to all here today

Zara

[Neal]

Grand idea for a thread. Personally, I have 'regrouped' twice since Easter. One night with a bottle of whisky after two months (at the start of June) then after two weeks holiday in July. It was a little bit of a (self-administered) slap going back to day 1. Now at three months plus, I have thought that if I slip it would be so difficult to feel I was back at square one that I'd keep drinking. I have no intention of drinking at all, but that genuine fear was there. Nor will this 'allow' me to blip. It is a very worthwhile thread.

Neal

[Maddie]

It's all part of the journey really isn't it Neal and Zara? Going back to day 1 after being sober for quite some time would seem discouraging and counter productive really. The main thing is that we keep on trying, and if we keep on trying then we are not failures at all, in-fact quite the opposite really.

Here's to another sober evening!

Maddie X

[linda.c]

I too think it's an excellent idea (after my little hiccup last week)

Glad you're feeling better Maddie

Linda

x

[zarajenkin]

Hi Maddie, Neal and Linda,

Yes - here's to another sober evening

Every sober evening and day is a great achievement and something to be proud of and it is counter productive to start hating myself for an occasional slip.

Zara

[Maddie]

Yes I agree Zara. I suppose by regrouping none of us are becoming complacent but rather we are very very aware of the dangers if we were to let a slip develop into something more serious such as a relapse.

I like to stay in the here and now and I'm always very pleased with myself for each sober day I clock up!

Maddie X

[Maddie]

SB, 7 weeks is a great achievement and 118 days is fabulous. All that sober time, just think how much your body will be thanking you. It's always good to reflect on the times when we've done really well. It very encouraging and motivates us to carry on!!

Maddie X

[Neal]

SB - almost 1/3rd of the year continually sober - that adds greatly to the aggregate. Sorry if that's a bit obscure, but I do get a bit compulsive about the figures.

Neal

[Maddie]

Well, I suppose I should confess to having 2 spreadsheets on my PC, one a chart where sober days are coloured purple and the drinking ones red, and the other working out the cumulative % of the time sober, either to date or for 2010 as a whole.

I finds it motivating to look at these figures, it can keep me from drinking for another day, and another, and then another.

SB

That is a brilliant idea SB. In the early days of sorting out my drink issues, I coloured in the non drinking days on my calendar that's in my bedroom. It used to feel good going up to bed and colouring in another day that I hadn't drunk. Those little reminders are very encouraging.

Maddie X

[Neal]

I'm old fashioned about my ledger, I guess. Calendar out, count the days, pencil, paper (or any spare newspaper margin or back of box), sharpener, rubber, some hard sums - percentages & aggregates.

It does motivate - but I do find myself obssessing about the figures less and less. Someone on another board said that they had stopped counting and only thought of him/herself as a non-drinker. Maybe, one day.

Neal

[ang]

Great idea this thread - having achieved a couple of longish stints and then back on day one a few times.

I am glad to hear i am not the only one obsessively colouring in days !!!!

AS we are all regrouping it feels Ok to say actually I have had 120 days AF and 23 days with Alcohol since Mid June when i started - even if i say it - that is a great achievement for someone who thought she couldn't give up. I just need to stay given up now !!!

It kind of felt inappropriate to say that on the beginning weeks thread as people are in different places - so appreciate the opportunity to give myself a pat on the back here.
Good luck all and catch up soon
Ang

[Sheila]

Ang....have another pat on the back from me... that's a fantastic achievement and you should be very proud of yourself
Sheila

[Neal]

Brilliant aggregate score and great spells of sobriety, Ang. Well done.

[linda.c]

Great going Ang

I took on board your calendar idea (not great with excel or spreadsheets ) Have now had 68 days drink free with a 1 hour slip-up so that puts things into perspective for me!

Linda

x

[london bloke]

you have come a long way Linda !

[zelda]

I was so happy to discover this site. Tomorrow it is one year since I decided, took the step to 'give it up'. I was on a bottle to two bottles of wine per night, and would drink the first one quickly, normally within an hour and a half. Typically I was either asleep by nine, flat out on the sofa, or otherwise, wide awake and ready to listen to music on you tube which took me back to unsolved, unfinished heartaches. Some of these were things that I had no control over, others were laced with regret.

One year on and I have realised, accepted, that the past is just that 'past'. I can't change it or relive it differently. Regret is all well and good, but it just wastes the present and doesn't do anything positive for the future.

I have been sober for over 325 days this year. Yet I wrote to my sister yesterday and told her that I felt like a failure because i just didn't seem to be able to commit to 'never again'. She wrote straight back and told me to be proud of my massive achievement. She was right.

This thread gives me the appropriate place to be happy with myself. I didn't truely feel i could in any other place, as either I was crawling back and forth from day one AGAIN to the next failure, or I was trying to justify a slip.

The fact is that some of us are maybe not at strong willed as others. I have been asked if maybe i don't 'want' sobriety enough. And maybe that is the case, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel i will get there, but once again, not in the straight line, not with almighty gusto.
Thank you for creating this thread. It gives worth to all the effort. It cancels the distress in posting 'day one' again.
This thread give me a voice. A voice to say 'I am doing bloody brilliantly'. It takes away the pressure of regular failure, and gives me a chance to celebrate my successes.
Well doen fellow groupies
Zelda xx, day two and feeling much happier.

[Katja]

Hi everyone, I have to agree with Neal and others, great thread:

Grand idea for a thread."..." I have thought that if I slip it would be so difficult to feel I was back at square one that I'd keep drinking.

Neal

When I slipped, I felt so low that it made all the good days disappear, I felt such a failure. It didn´t matter that I had been sober nearly 4 months and the slip was no more than 5 days all together, in about 3 weeks time. I nearly didn´t come back to BE, because I felt so ashamed. And there was a real danger that I could have just kept drinking. But I stopped and restarted my sober journey and as time has passed, I see the experience in a different light and have learned from it.

You know, I have to tell you something. After my slip, when I felt my lowest, I realised that I need to see a doctor about some issues I had, this bad feeling pushed me to get some help. That visit to my GP was the best thing I could have done: mentioning one thing led to an another...long story...but it was then realized that there was something seriously wrong...couple of weeks tests after test and even though I was diagnosed with serious illnes, Im getting the best treatment I can and feel optimistic and more in peace with myself than a very very long time.

I was reading a book about how we can train our brain, we can learn more positive way of thinking and when we actively rehearse positive thinking it becomes more dominant way of thinking for us and the negative thinking "shrinks". I am determined to get well and positive thinking is my way to help the healing process and medical treatments. I very strongly believe in the connection between the mind and the body. I have a big challenge ahead of me and no doubt some difficult and scary times, but I will make it!

This has also made me realize how important it is that we support each other here and share our experiences. I have been very much a person to keep things to myself. Sometimes scared to share things. Why?? Whether the problem is drinking or illness or something else, sharing our experiences will help us to deal with them.

Shortly, what I wanted to say today is, that we should remember to value ourselves and our achievements instead of putting ourselves down...and this is a good place to do it. And I can highly recommend learning to think positively...yes you can learn it, even if you have been a pessimist all your life. Your brain has such a huge unused potential, but it is there, for you to use it. It is never too late.

This is for all of you for being here

And this is for me (had my operation)

Katja