General Support and Chat

[Rebecca]

Here's this months general support thread.

[you're worth it]

Wow, Welcome to November. Let's keep it calm, peaceful and ALCOHOL FREE

[moread]

Hear, hear YWI I can't believe we've made it to November already

[Shelsey]

Moread my little treasure so proud of you xxxxxx

[moread]

Thank you Shelsey You're doing amazing, I'm just trying to catch up!

[you're worth it]

Moread, Shelsey, I fell today (I have posted elsewhere). Can't explain it. So I am back to day one. Must keep going.

[lexilou]

This is going to sound really sutpid, but,

.. forgetting which thread you last posted on.. and having to look through them all till you find the one your watching.. any general support for that?!





x

[Jarvis]

Ha ha! Done that myself, Lexilou.

If you click your username in the "who's online" list on the main page, it takes you to your profile page. Click "Search user's posts" in the right-hand bottom corner and it'll bring up all your posts, starting with the most recent.

You can also (I only learnt this last week) click "View your posts", near the top of the page. There's an drop-down option at the bottom where you can select to view all the threads you've posted on during the last day, week, month or whatever.

Hope that helps!
Mark

[Ant147]

I did that too!

You can alo subscribe to thread (at bottom of page), then when there is activity on a thread you have been involved with you get an email telling you that also contains a link hat takes you straight back to that thread

[Time4Chng]

Just joining in here. My last binge was on October 29th. I finally feel the cloudiness lifting and I did a fantastic job on a major presentation today. One of my friends won't talk to me right now, I can only guess at why this is at this point. It was a big bad black-out drunk. It's my birthday this weekend coming up and I am already feeling anxiety about the expectations of people who will be coming out to celebrate with me. I've only ever talked to a few friends about my drinking problem, but never followed through with long lasting change. I don't know if I'm ready for abstinence yet, but I know I am ready to stop getting black-out drunk. I called a psychologist's office in hopes I can get in soon to talk out some issues. I am still waiting to hear back.

[lexilou]

Thanks everyone - this has helped alot, now hopefully i wont spend hours looking for threads haha!

Time, hi i'm lexi,
It's so good you've realised that something needs to change, you know why it needs to, and you want it to, this is half the battle!

I cannot ever drink again, i'm scared that new people i meet won't understand that, and see me as 'the boring one' or when i'm out with the girls, and there all gettting tipsy, i'll feel left out. It worries me soo much - but it's a part of life i'm going to have to get used to. It will get better with time - it helps SO much that my close friends understand why i don't drink, i dont feel pressured by then simply because i know they understand, we dont have to talk about it, its not a big deal, but just that understanding is enough. If you can find people in your social circle who know and understand your reasons, then use them as support, as said, no words even have to be exchanged its just enough for them to know and be aware.

Maybe your friend won't talk to you because he/she feels bad that they let you drink so much? I had a similar experience, people don't know what to say, they feel if they speak to you as if everythings fine, then it might happen again and then they will feel even worse, and they are scared that you may be angry at them for letting you drink so much, it's really tricky. Maybe they are just simply sick of you drinking so much, and the only way they think to get the message across is by not talking to you? Maybe you said something which you where not aware you said, or cannot remember?
Speak to you friend (im not sure how close you are to them or indeed the situation) and try and find out why they are avoiding/not speaking to you. It simply maybe because they are going through a busy period or a difficult time in their life that has nothing to do with you, but due to the drinking episode, you relate their silence to that?
Also, if you can, find someone close or who you are with when you are drinking that you feel you can trust enough to tell them about some of these worries. This is easier than it sounds i know!! Everyone is an individual, and although most people won't be going through exactly the same thing as you, most people will understand and be there to listen, more than you may think

Hope this helps xx

[Time4Chng]

Thanks Lexi, that is great advice. I do have friends that are not heavy drinkers that I have not spent as much time with as maybe I should have. I think its time to reconnect with them! As for the friend who won't speak to me, I sent a text, but at this point I am just waiting to see if he shows up at my birthday party this weekend. One of my other friends said he was really worried about me last Saturday night, so it is entirely possible he is annoyed or doesn't know how to tell me about his concerns. Guess I will see what happens. I spend so much of my life being "in control" that it is just crazy how in this one spot I am so out of control.

[MaryM33]

Hi
Just checking in to say Hi. Been almost 2 weeks AF and it's amazing. BUT major wobbles coming along. I did really well on the 7 day thread and I think it was because I posted on this website daily and it kind of kept me going. So just feel I need to stay in contact here. A bit tricky because I'm in Australia, but it's all good.

Friday night here. Still sober but the head f**k I'm having with EAF is really driving me nuts......

hope you're all good
Mary xx

[purplefountain]

I'm new to this and only just admitted I had a problem to my gp yesterday. I had taken the plunge and tried a couple of local AA meeting but found the whole pressure of giving up completely too much....plus I found the meetings really upsetting. So here I am with a different approach

The last straw this week was falling asleep after putting the Halloween decorations up for the kids....whilst drinking....and then failing to turn up at my son's school.....

I've since had to admit to myself that nearly all the dire situations/fall outs with loved ones have been when I've had a load of wine!!

I feel safe in saying all this...partly because I feel anonymous at the moment, but also because I know others of you will have taken similiar risks.

I love the name 'Bright Eye'....because to be honest a 'Bright Eye' is one that isn't influenced by the demon drink.

Take care everyone - I just need to get familiar with this site.

Purple Fountain

[Grendelslip]

Hi purplefountain and welcome to BE (Bright Eye) - yes it is a good name isn't it?

You haven't had any responses yet because most users don't look at this thread! It's more of a miscellaneous thread for things which don't fit in elsewhere.

Can I suggest that you introduce yourself on the' New Members...' thread which is under General Recovery. Many people keep an eye on this and welcome newcomers. You will also get suggestions on the best places to start posting to get the most out of BE.

Don't be shy - it can be a bit daunting at first. I found that after the first day my problem was to stop writing too many posts. Having said that, you are free to post as often and wherever you like.

Best wishes

Dave

[roger2mountain]

"It's more of a miscellaneous thread for things which don't fit in elsewhere."

I guess that would be me. Gonna give it another try...I can't seem to make it 7 days but I read on one post that a few steps forward and one back is still moving forward.

Wish me luck. Annie

[Crackers24]

Hi purple Fountain,can relate to everything you said,hope BE can help you,it's done wonders for me,just knowing there are lots of us out there in the same boat x


Crackers

[Time4Chng]

Mary, good job on hanging in there! I am in Canada so I am often on here when everyone else is likely getting to sleep.
Welcome purplefountain!
I am finding coming here daily, sometimes both in the morning and at night, really helpful. I am not ready to abstain completely, but coming here motivates me to explore the reasons why I drink myself into oblivion and makes me want to do something different.
I am going for my first appointment with a psychologist today. I am a little nervous because I am actually going to be a psychologist myself in a few years (I hope! Just 2 more years).
Take care all, hope you have a lovely day/night.

[Jules99]

Hi all I, like Mary above, am having the EAF going on and on at me today because it's Friday....I am on day 12 of the two week challenge, so 12 days AF. Feels good and am sleeping better etc, have more energy but EAF's voice on at me today...Trying to ignore it. Got no booze in the house and it's bucketing down outside so haven't even got access to booze but still....
I was wondering if anyone can relate to this; in these few recent sober days, I've realised a big link between food and my boozing cycle. I spend a lot of time worrying about weight, jogging, eating well etc and trying to stay a certain size but then I go for a blow out binge drinking session and it's as if it gives me the excuse to eat whatever I want to the rest of the time but don't allow myself. So as well as drinking 2-3 bottles of wine on a binge I also eat so much rubbish it's untrue and it's as if the booze was my 'excuse.' I then have the guilt of both the drink AND the food in the days after!!!
Just wondered if anyone else has the food element linked to the drinking problem? Or am I just nuts?!

[Grendelslip]

Jules

I feel like I'm stalking you - I've just replied to your post on the 2 Week-er!

Yes, I think drinking does lead to over-eating. I've noticed many people pigging out after a few drinks, even those whose drinking is moderate and under control. I certainly have done this - but I'm pigging out even more now I'm abstaining! Ever done the old few pints of lager, then go down the kebab shop thing?

Then there's the other aspect: alcohol contains lots of calories.

There is one way to get rid of the munchies - if you drink enough for long enough you will probably stop eating. This is so NOT RIGHT a thing to do that I think I'm very to even mention it. And you'd still be taking in loads of cals anyway.

Dave