Extreme Financial & Housing Difficulties: Advice

[Melissa]

Hey everyone, been reading your stories and wondered if anyone could give me advice.

I live alone, have a caring job looking after a disabled woman, she pays me as self employed. So I dont get sick pay, holidays etc. I have a large fibroid on my uterus and need it removing. The recovery time is 6-12 weeks. Im in UK so can claim 75% of my rent and a few pounds a week for bills, but this equates to around £600 a month and my outgoings total £900 as I have a lot of debt and monthly repayments to meet.

I dont know how I am supposed to have the operation and support myself. I am in a rented house and I have no assets at all that I could sell. 6 weeks is bad enough but with my job of lifting a person they said it will be 12 weeks recovery. I keep putting off the operation due to money, but the fibroid is growing and gives me horrific side effects so I must get it dealt with, but money is such a worry. I only pay interest on my debt, no security for sickness etc.

I just dont know what to do. Its like my health is suffering because I am a low wage earner. I hate my job anyway and dont want to return to it after the operation because I will not want to do such heavy work when I will still be delicate.

Any ideas? Im utterly stressed out about it and depressed.
Mel x

[caroline95]

Hi Melissa, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, it must all feel so overwhelming at the moment .

I'd say get some advice and support from somewhere like the Citizen's Advice Bureau.That way you're not having to shoulder all the stress and practical stuff on your own, and they are experienced in debt management/benefits etc.I'm sure at the very least they will be able to help you reduce debt repayments, or freeze the interest.

Remember, BE is a support forum - that's what we do, so post as much as you like, it really does help.There's no need to feel alone because you're not.

It might be an idea to see your GP, they may be able to offer you some support too.But for to-day, try to put your worries on the back burner - easier said than done, I know!Maybe make a list of the agencies that can help you.Treat yourself to nice food, maybe curl up on the sofa and watch a dvd - whatever, you need a wee break from all this stress, so be kind to yourself.There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however bleak things may seem at the moment - take care .

[smudge]

For anyone struggling with getting benefits I just found this site :

http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

It has a forum. And there is also an associated Facebook page :

https://www.facebook.com/BenefitsandWorkPublishing

Hope it helps.

[jaxom5]

This applies to the UK. I got into a desperate situation financially i.e. broke recently when OH walked out without warning or indication that anything was wrong., taking all the dosh and her income which with my personal pension kept us all tickety-boo, but I can't manage on just that pension.. She did leave me with unpaid and in arrears bills though. Thanks dear. All this plunged me into depression and in the space of a couple of weeks I went from being up and (literally) running to being incapable of looking after myself and my situation. I am not complaining/bitching, just setting the scene and pointing out how quickly things can change for the worse, though I hope it doesn't happen to you.

Fortunately a friend put me in touch with her support worker from an organisation funded by our county council which helps people who are struggling to cope. It is not a counselling servgice but one which offers practical support, from filling in forms to putting you in touch with any other support service you might need. On the first visit she explained about all the different benefits I could claim, filled in all the forms, had a 40 minute telephone conversation to make an 'on-line' claim for the main benefit and got the ball rolling. All I had to do was tell her the answers to all the various questions. She told me not to even bother opening any mail unless it was obviously personal and not to worry. She opened it and dealt with it on her next visit. It gave me a breathing space, taking away a lot of worry and giving the chance to start doing little things like a bit of housework to get my head in a better place. Baby steps but they take you a long way.

Two weeks on and I opened all the letters, read them and had a list of questions for her. Went through the latest batch iof mail with taking the lead ahere and there instead being totally passive. She took some of it to be dealt with, some stuff I took on board because I know I can deal with it now.

Officialdom can be confusing, assuming you know what they are talking about or making mistakes. E.g I have to provide a new sick note (unfit for work note) pronto because the one I sent in covered the period 21 -27 August. Er? It was issued on 21Aug and covered 30 days, not 7. An obvious mistake and one which can be rectified but when you have mental health problems you start worrying and sliding back down very easily and quickly.

The point of all this? If you are not coping then seek support. It is out there. In Dorset the organization is called First Point. Hopefully there is something similar in your area but it will likely have a different name. If you can't find it then google Dorset First Point to get an idea of what this organisation does then phone or go to your council's website and ask/look for something similar.

I have always been self-sufficient and, yes, proud and it was difficult to recognise I was not coping, needed help and needed to ask for it. I am so glad I did. I posted elsewhere when I was at my lowest that I knew there was a way forward, I just needed to find it. I have. A fair way to go yet but moving forwards again, not sliding back. From hoplessness to knowing that I have a future.

I hope this can help somebody and, yes, it has helped me just by writing it down.

Dave