Postby kjm99501 » 11 Jan 2012 21:52
I am a 39 year old mother of three great kids. I have struggled with alcoholism since my first divorce in 2003. I am the daughter of an alcoholic father. I swore I would never, ever follow in his footsteps, but here I am. I was sexually, physically, emotionally and verbally abused as a child by my older brother. My parents knew, and chose to do nothing. This set me up for a lifetime of turmoil...my own fault, no excuses. I used to be the "perfect"-ish mother. Never did anything to embarrass myself or my kids, had goals and dreams, and I had a pretty nice body to boot. Now, just about a year and a half later, I am twice divorced, 20 pounds overweight, and feeling very alone and very much a failure. I have never been in legal trouble or had problems at work, but I thought I had hit bottom last spring when I drove my car into a ditch and my husband (an alcoholic himself) told me I was out of control and needed rehab. I passed with flying colors...and started drinking again two days after leaving the facility. Since then, he divorced me, I have moved my children twice, and I am miserable. I tried AA...the people bugged the hell out of me. Drinking has become my worst best friend. It doesn't judge me, it doesn't tell me I am worthless, it doesn't expect anything of me... but it killed my relationships and it is killing me. I hope with all of my heart that with your support, I can work to get my life back.