what's a relapse?

[roledog33]

maria,
It is tougher to not drink when you go abroad. Perfect example: my OH is from the Philippines. When we go to visit, all of her relatives like to sit around with me and drink. I mean starting early in the morning and stopping when we either a) pass out, b) run out, or c) it is just time to go to bed (which usually takes us back to option A). I tried setting some ground rules with myself; didn't work out too well. Might want to have a trusted friend or OH set the ground rules for you. This way you know they will be enforced. But you have to understand that once you two agree on the ground rules, you are going to stick to them, no matter what. I now have a simple ground rule: I cannot drink; just can't.

All the best!!

roledog33

[Rebecca]

I have problems too when I travel, my husband is from Montreal and they like to drink wine with me...I didn't do it last time I went and they would not leave me alone about it! I also just got back from San Francisco where I gave in...it all started with a wine tasting, I thought I could just taste and be ok...well I ended up drinking every day for the rest of the trip after the tasting. I didn't get too out of control, but didn't feel well and was disappointed in myself. I should never have tried the tasting, that's where it all started...I'm stopping as I'm home now and I'll put it behind me. It didn't ruin my holiday but it was close to ruining it.

Rebecca

[Andy]

I dont think I've ever gone on holiday without drinking!!! It's just part of being on holiday

Will have to work something out for this years holiday to avoid drinking!!! Problem is most of the stuff we do is active and social !!!

Andy

[Andy]

The activity hol's were always part of the problem!!!

Whitewater Kayaking in the Alps, high adrenaline sports, work hard play hard, finish paddling buzzing, stop at the intermarche for BBQ food and beer and didnt need to get up to early as you dont normally paddle much until the suns been on the glaciers for a while to get the melt water running!! other than taking intermediate paddlers on easier water!!!

[Bela]

Andy, when you do make it through a holiday without drinking, you will likely find yourself surprised not only about how easy is was once you set your mind to it but also how much fun you actually can have . . . . perhaps sounds inplausible to you now, but many people on BE have reported back on this experience. Your confidence in yourself grow. This I believe.

[Andy]

Have to wait untilnext year to find out, have no driving licence makes driving to the Alps with 4 boats and mountain bike will be a bit tricky

thx Bela

[Bela]

I copied this post from SB on the Just Links thread:


Just LINKS
by Selfish Bitch » 23 May 2010 12:59

There's been a few people recently struggling with lapsing and what it might mean - this link discusses a number of mistaken beliefs about a relapse and is definitely worth a read.

http://www.tlctx.com/mist_pages/mistaken.htm

[Mike]

When you get to the point when you no longer want to go to the pub, when you prefer being sober to being drunk, and when you finally realise you really don't enjoy the taste of alcohol, then you know you have cracked it. The straight talking mentioned in the previous post (where's it gone ?!), may come from others or from within, that small voice which reminds you about the self destructive effect of alcohol addiction. We often need help from others, and we need to help ourselves. It can't be done without self determination.

No, none of us here except the administrator are professionals in this field, but that doesn't mean we are lacking in knowledge or experience in dealing with the problem.

Mike

[roledog33]

Hey, all,
I just re-read my post on 23 April where I said, "this time for good." Yeah, that worked out real well. I'll never say that again because one never knows. I consider every time I come off the wagon as being a relapse. I'm sure I'll have another one. But Lord-willing and with the support here, it won't happen. I can tell you, though, that Friday night here is going to be tough. I have to go to the base promotion party. Everyone is going to be drinking. I think I'm going to volunteer to be a designated driver; this way I cannot drink for any reason.

roledog33

[Bela]

That's a way to make it work, Dog.

[Rebecca]

SB

I know exactly how you feel, I've been drinking some too and was quite annoyed with myself. It was also due to a difficult situation, which I would have probably gotten over much faster and easier without drinking, but I got sucked back in. All we can really do is dust ourselves off and keep trying. I'm really making an effort and I want to go longer than I ever have without a drink.

[canadagirl]

SB! and Rebecca!

HUGE love to you. I know it's hard, but try to get back on with us as soon as possible.

I know those Bright Eyes are there. Let's see them.

xo C.

[Rebecca]

Thanks canadagirl, I actually got laid off unexpectedly, so it really sucks...I'm doing a little better, it happened 2 weeks ago.

Rebecca

[Swordgirl]

Rebecca
just wanted to say hi and send you some ,sorry to hear you are having a difficult time and hope things improve asap

I fell down too on Saturday night. Quite calculated too.Was seeing a good drinking buddy and just knew i would do it, to the point that I took a cab there to ensure I wouldn't drink and drive! Drank on an empty stomach and was a mess the next day. It's so weak but I just find it hard to disassociate the drinking from this relationship,I love her dearly and it's weird when I don't drink. I need to grow up!

Love Divya.x

[fiz]

Rebecca, SB, and Divya, ( welcome back Divya),

Sorry you are all feeling a bit low at the moment, just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.

Divya, I have a good friend like that, she is still very unhappy with me when we go out because I am no longer drinking, but I think she is getting used to it. I must admit, I try to meet up with her in the mornings now so we can go for a coffee instead of to the pub, because I really get the urge when I'm with her.

[Swordgirl]

Thanksfor your reply Fiz. Think I will have try to see her in the daytime or take the car. I know I am the one that is responsible but it is such a trigger for me. At least I can see it as a trigger now.
Thanks again for replying
D.x

[tee]

My lovely Divya another thing we have in common. I'm seeing my pal on Friday night for dinner and have decided to take the car so as I won't drink. I hope once you get a couple of these non drinking catch ups under your belt it will seem the normal thing to do

[AlexT]

Hey All,

Rolled off the wagon again yesterday.

So sick of being the drunkest person in the room who drinks at double speed. I dont know how many times ive come back to this point. Im glad to know im normal and not the only one that has these struggles.

What has made me feel all the more guilty, is my fiancee and her family have such a mature relationship with alcohol, they are swedes, a wonderful family, and havent grown up with that very british weekend binge drinking culture. (to which i have seemingly habitually hard wired in to my system over the last 20 years of drinking). They dont feel the crave / need to drink to get drunk, other than for the pleasure of a moderate glass of wine or two for the taste. So when I moved over to Sweden last October it has only gone on to really highlight how much of a heavy drinker I am in comparison. I went back to London last month and was drinking with old buddies there, theyre all just as bad as me but think its just our 'normal' binging culture.

Annnyway all a round about way of saying that I feel like such a loser today back at the starting line after outdrinking the whole party last night. Fortunately didnt seem to do anything embarrassing like dancing on the table but the worst thing is being told how 'hammered' you were the next day when you thought everyone was just as drunk as you, when in face they were all just a little merry (oh god dont you hate that!)

Heres hoping for more success this time. Wishing you all continued luck in your own brave battles

Cheers (raising a fortifying fizzy mineral water to you all)

Alex

[AlexT]

Hey All,

Rolled off the wagon again yesterday.

So sick of being the drunkest person in the room who drinks at double speed. I dont know how many times ive come back to this point. Im glad to know im normal and not the only one that has these struggles.

What has made me feel all the more guilty, is my fiancee and her family have such a mature relationship with alcohol, they are swedes, a wonderful family, and havent grown up with that very british weekend binge drinking culture. (to which i have seemingly habitually hard wired in to my system over the last 20 years of drinking). They dont feel the crave / need to drink to get drunk, other than for the pleasure of a moderate glass of wine or two for the taste. So when I moved over to Sweden last October it has only gone on to really highlight how much of a heavy drinker I am in comparison. I went back to London last month and was drinking with old buddies there, theyre all just as bad as me but think its just our 'normal' binging culture.

Annnyway all a round about way of saying that I feel like such a loser today back at the starting line after outdrinking the whole party last night. Fortunately didnt seem to do anything embarrassing like dancing on the table but the worst thing is being told how 'hammered' you were the next day when you thought everyone was just as drunk as you, when in fact they were all just a little merry (oh god dont you hate that!)

Heres hoping for more success this time. Wishing you all continued luck in your own brave battles

Cheers (raising a fortifying fizzy mineral water to you all)

Alex

[london bloke]

Hi Alex,

Doesn't matter that you have had booze, I think. Don't give yourself a hard time. (easier said than done, I have been down on myself for years !)

What matters is seeing patterns, reasons etc. And that takes time. Keep posting - keep reading. You'll get there. We'll all get there.