Three Week Challenge

[Yorkie]

Hi Darcy, thanks for setting up the thread for us. Its so helpful having these bite size bits, and helps to idenitfy these precious early mile stones..and the changes we have made in order to get here.

I am finding the quality of time changing again, and feel, that pehaps i am at the point where if i am not careful, could become complacent, so, I am taking heed at this point and reminding my self of the goals I made in the confesseion palour...looking forward to seeing my two week budies in here and anyone else travelling our way, love Yorkie

[Yorkie]

[color=#FF00FF]Hi Darcy, thanks for the post - im not sure what else to do, other then what I am already doing... I had a huge physical craving yesterday... or at least I think thats what it was.. it felt like big black hole as big as the world in my solar plexus region. in the past I would have filled that up with wine, but as i am still intently fixed upon living without the booze, I found it a no brainer... ate my tea, and got on with my evening... the emptyness went away fairly quickly and I was able to observe the whole episode quite objectively...

What i am concerned about is how I will cope if I have a mental craving and my thinking is squewed... then what.... any sugestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated...

perhaps what I am doing already is recovering my mental well being, and as long as I continue with my "program of recovery" which is made up of rest, relaxation, excersise, good diet, company and socialising, family/home time - generally living in a holistic, well balanced way then maybe this will be enough to keep me sane enough to maintain the knowledge that alcohol is my poison and that it will always enhance any mental derailment that I happen to be suffering at the time.... would love to here your thoughts and any advice you could offer - yours truly, still positive and delighted to have come this far, Yorkie
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[Yorkie]

Thanks Darcy Fiz mentioned a book which I'd like to read... Its about the gread divide that alcohol can create, those that can and do for social reasons, and those that can't and do, which leads to isolation... apparentley its pack with unbias statistics.... interesting.. just need to find title and Author - any idea? love Yorks

[moread79]

Hello Yorkie!

Finally joined you as this is officially my Day 15, must say that I am really proud and today's Sunday so far has been extremely relaxed and lovely, had a lovely lunch with my boyfriend (he cooked!) and just seeing him happy is making the smile on my face even bigger

Darcy thanks so much for the 3 week thread, I'm going to try find an avatar I like today and will follow your instructions to upload, big hug to you

Yorkie, I know what you mean about the dangers of feeling complacent and perhaps over confident, it's a slippery slope that I've been down several times thinking "well, I've done so well so far, surely I can handle a glass of wine or two if I manage to actually abstain for some nights"...but sadly for me, even 1 glass is a trigger for going on a binge, as soon as I feel buzzed I want to maintain the buzz and then before I know it...well, you get the picture.

I turned down an invitation to go out last night with my friends, as it would have involved drinking and I'm not strong enough yet to be able to pass, same thing goes for tonight, but hopefully I'll be able to reach a point where I can socialize a bit more without being terrified that I'll slip.

A major force that is keeping me motivated is that, sadly for my family, this year has proved to me how dangerous alcohol can actually be...my father passed away 6 months ago due to cirrossis of the liver caused by alcohol. Even after seeing what it did to him, I kept on drinking, maybe because it is the only way I've ever learnt to cope with things, but after my head has been clear for the first time in a long time, I'm actually realising how stupid I've been, how the past 6 months have been a blur, how I've been in denial and haven't helped my family as much as I could, after all how could I take care of someone else when I can't take care of myself?

I feel sad and angry that my father died from an illness that could have been prevented, it's such a devastating waste and I hope not to end up like that.

So it's worth it for me taking it one day at a time, I hope to finally find a little meaning in my life, to stop hurting myself and the people around me who I dearly love, to start to feel a little bit more like me.

Do whatever it takes, meditate, do yoga, go for walks, take up a class, finally we are doing this for ourselves and I'll be damned if I will waste away while making the alcohol companies richer.

Okay, became a bit emotional there towards the end, but at least I'm finally feeling something.

Lots of love to you all

[Bela]

Moread,
I am sorry about the loss of your father.
You are so wise to recognize the dangers of the path you've been on.
Here's wishing you a wonderful new world of possibilities.
Bela

[moread79]

Thank you Bela

[Yorkie]

Moread wrote

Do whatever it takes, meditate, do yoga, go for walks, take up a class, finally we are doing this for ourselves and I'll be damned if I will waste away while making the alcohol companies richer.

Yes Moread, how true this is, do what ever it takes, the willingness to make the changes in our lives what ever they are... It became very obvious to me, that what I was doing in the past was not supporting the life that I wanted to be living... this has meant a change in friends (and this has been quite hard - nobody likes to be dropped - and some really hang on with all they have got!) a change in the things that I do... etc..

What does work for me, is the holistic approach with a bit of Zen buddism attitude - just the right amount of energy for that which we are doing at the time.. not to little, not to much.

I feel as tho I have always been on a quest - for what I do not know? A true and meaningful way to exsist perhaps?? Any way, when something rings true, I feel switched on - and I have come to recognise these times more and more over time - It certainly doesn't happen when I've been on the bottle, but the booze is cunning, and I have been tricked into believing that it's powers are good .. the difference today is that I know it's not true and that it is a trap.

Moread, You are allowed to be emotional - your anger and sadness over the illness of your dad is understand able and reasonable.

However, your dad has taught you what you now know to be true, And you have seen the light, so use that precious gift and send love and thanks to you dad and forgive yourself and him for being human - we are not meant to be perfect... Look to the future now and make those changes. The confession parlour is for writing goals and setting our aims... have you been there yet? if not, take a look - start at page one so you know what it's purpose is... love and light for this day, Yorkie

[STB]

Here I am Yorkie, moread and all! Day 15! And it hasnt been without its struggles - my worst craving was on Friday, I just desperately wanted a drink. So - and I really recommend this Yorkie - I headed to Waitrose and bought some Fre - which is an alcohol free red wine. The taste helped so much and I only wanted a couple of glasses. I bought three bottles for the (four day) weekend (and they are only £2.99 each so less than my usual spend of like £10 per day!!) - it is just a little treat without any of the nasty side effects of alcohol.

I understand how you feel so much moread... I have lost so many people in my family - my dad, my favourite aunt, my grandfather, two other aunts, my uncle... and just five months ago my mum - through smoking. I used to get so angry and think "how can you do something that will kill you" and then I have drank pretty heavily for oh ten or more years now.. so much for me being pious... but I have no right to judge until I can kick my evil demon - and I am 15 days into doing just that.

You know what I am loving at the moment - driving in my car, listening to music - and not being constantly in fear I am over the limit. Going out in the fresh air, instead of sitting in my bed pissed.

Oh and I found something in a charity shop yesterday - Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin". I am aware food is substituting the alcohol so I got the book and began to read. There is also a cd which is basically medidative and everything he says makes sense. About listening to your body rather than your brain and it really applies to alcohol too. I am on day 2 and I will let you know how I progress.... the trouble is when I put on weight when I stop drinking I get down and then wish I had a drink... so these two really are a marriage made in hell for me.

I am sorry to say that I am drinking far too much coffee but only in the morning/early afternoon. Then water water water (sparkly seems much better at fighting off cravings) and maybe a glass of Fre.

I hope this muddled stuff all makes some sort of sense... and I am so grateful to you for being on my journey with me - maybe we will all meet up one day and have a brilliant day together!

Take care for now
STB xxxx

[Yorkie]

Hi STB welcome along...lovely to have you here - day 15 - thats great

thanks for the FRE tip.. i'll bear it in mind for when I need something a bit "stronger" - I have actually tried this before in a previous sober attemept - and found it worked quite well for a while... however for the time being, ill stick to the tea coffee, cramberry and Aloe vera. like you, i've hit the coffee quite hard and had a very strange day where I'd obviously had one to many... so addressing the caffine issue now- its never ending eh?
Ive got the paul Mckenna book and cd - he's great (NLP) I used to put it on at bed time and fall asleep to it - very lazy huh! what happened was not without it's possitive results tho - while out for dinner on one occassion, not long after practising this "dieting while you sleep" technique I was asked if I would like some more chips :-Much to everyones suprise, including mine, I replied "no thank you , could I have some more cauliflower please" ! Im sure there is a moral in that story, to the effect something like, be fully present while making changes... so, good luck with that STB..

Im am sorry to hear of the losses that you have suffered... especially your mum

As you will know by now, this is a very strong, loving, non judgemental place which we are fortunate enough to be apart of - long may you continue to reap it's benefits - Love and light for a peaceful, sober, happy driving and listening to music day, Yorkie

ps what you listening to?

[moread79]

Hello STB and Yorkie, Happy Month to you both

I didn't have internet connection yesterday and have just been catching up with your posts.
STB, I am so sorry for your losses, you are an incredibly strong person and I'm sure your mum would be so proud of you. Keep it up honey

Yorkie I love your holistic approach towards life, it's what I hope to acheive for myself also, a sense of purpose and feeling at peace with my surroundings. I will be trying the yoga classes soon (8th Sept.) and I hope to find that meditating will be an outlet for my negative emotions.

I'm so happy that you both mentioned the food substituting alcohol, I've found that I have been eating so much more lately and have put on a couple of kilos already...must order the Mckenna book/Cd and try it!

Confession, I'm a bit jealous about the non-alchoholic wine, I don't live in the UK and we don't have anything like that where I live, but I think that I'll stick to tea and juices for now, got some lovely organic sparkling pink lemonade for special occasions, and I think I can find non-alchoholic beer.

STB I do come to the UK from time to time, I have family living there, so maybe next time I come we could have a BE meeting, would love to meet you all, you have helped me so much, bless you and have a lovely day everyone

[Yorkie]

Hi Moread and STB Happy 1st of September to you both - and anyone else who joins us here today... Moread, little changes over time add up to a better way of life... when I started to take control of my life (many years ago) I tried to do it all in one day.... sound familiar? However, I have learned that change is a lifetimes work, and as long as I live in the day, and keep heading in the right direction and remember what it is that Im aiming for, then there is a good chance that the little changes will add up to a better way of life... Having the BE threads makes it easy to keep track of where we began, how far we have come and where we want to go... I spent a happy time last night reading through the seven day posts and tracking our journeys... And It clearly shows that we are not doing this on our own - And here we are togather in the 3 week thread.

The road is of mixed terraine, highs lows and all the stuff inbetween. When Im not in the throes of drinking, then what ever else is going on is mostly managable... even the darkest days without booze do eventually pass - and Im not left beating myself up... These days, acceptence and surrender is the way for me - when I was younger I just could not give up the fight and found it imposible to accept things that did not suit me... Thank God for the passage of time. This seems to be quite common amongs us here - we are lively spirits with sensitive souls -
It would be lovely to meet up, so let us know well in advance when you are nextgoing to be in the UK
Going to visit some other threads now and will be back later this evening, love for a smooth day, Yorkie

[Bela]

Happy, I think you can do it whatever way suits you. This is a new thread by popular request for folks who have done the one week challenge and the two week challenge. In that sense it is progressive. But I suppose someone could also view it as a place anyone could jump in, such as the three month challenge. Perhaps others can chime in? That's just my take on things. Nice to see your name pop up this morining and to read about how well you have been doing. Welcome back!

[STB]

hello all - just a quick post as incredibly tired today - first day back at work and the 5.15am alarm was a helluva shock!! am going to bed at 9pmish again as I love my sleep and need a lot - and I am LOVING sleeping properly again... Day 16 over and Yorkie and Moread yes yes - make sure you visit soon Moread. And I will check with the website for alcohol free wine and see if they ship out - where are you treasure?

Sleep tight and see you tomorrow - well done lovelies!! xxxx

[moread79]

Hello everyone

Been posting early hours only these days as my connection at home is down at the moment and I can only access for a little while at work.

Well, yesterday was kind of hard, I went out with my friends and siblings, since I have been turning down everyone's invitations lately and feeling a bit secluded. We went out to a bar, everyone was drinking and I had pineapple juice people did query why I wasn't drinking (soooo not like me) but since they were close friends I could be honest and say that I had been overdoing it with the drinking lately and needed a break. With any one else I can use my ulcer as an excuse since it's back

Anyway, all in all I'm proud cause I managed to do it and had quite a pleasant evening even if I wasn't 100% relaxed. Got the courage to suggest another evening out this week (there will be food so I'll concentrate on eating!)

STB and Yorkie, thank you both for your kindness and generall good vibes, I would love to meet up with you folks next time I come to the UK, will let you know if/when that happens. STB you are so sweet for checking for the wine I live in Greece though and not a lot of companies ship here. I'm okay so far with my lemonade and alcohol free beer, next time I com to England I will stock up on the Fre!

Hi Happy welcome to the thread, the more the merrier so please join in

Big hello to Darcy and Bella also

Hey I just realized this is my day 18! (last drink date August 15 so I think that's right) yipeeee!!

Big kiss to you all and good vibes for today!

[STB]

Here I am day 17 almost over! I feel really proud of myself and you guys too! Moread how lovely Greece is gorgeous! I am considering a holiday in October and Greece is my preferred destination at the moment! SOO well done on going out and not drinking angel - that is a TOUGH one! And to tell close people that you are giving drinking a break - that is SO brilliant! Well done!

And thank you for helping me to get this far - I hope I am helping too .... xxx

[moread79]

Day 19!

Hello all

STB you are sooo kind and encouraging, of course you are helping! I couldn't do this without you and Yorkie and the support of this forum, thank you so much everyone I am so proud of you also, great big pat on the back sweety for making it this far, I know that you are determined to go all the way, we'll cheer each other on until we get to the 3 month challenge, we can do this!
Yes Greece is lovely, if somewhat frustrating at times, however right now we're still recovering from the fires a couple of weeks back, the damage is so devastating in the suburbs around Athens

How are your lovely doggies STB? Taking them for walks must be a good exercise, I have a cat and 2 dogs myself - a sheepdog and a dog that looks like a sheep!

Big kiss to everyone!

[Sandy]

Hi Yorkie STB Moreade!
Made it!!!
Onto the three week challenge
cant belive it !
all thanks to you guys
keep strong as it keeps me strong too
am hanging onto your coat tails.....day 15
love
s

[STB]

Helloooo Moread, Yorkie, Sandy, Happy and everybody else on the three week challenge. Day 18 is over and still feeling really good! Thank you so much for helping me to get here. I am seeing an old friend for the weekend in a couple of weeks and she said "we can have a weekend of walks and wine, but no sex I am afraid!" to which I replied "well I can have a weekend of walks but no sex OR wine for me!" and I intend to stick to that.... I will be on a calendar month then and I am NOT going to blow this chance. I feel so much happier and am doing so much more - the flat is really clean and tidy, no crap piling up waiting for me to be sober enough to tackle it. Thank you thank you xxxxx

[Yorkie]

YO Chaps... didn't manage to get on line yesterday or today untill it was so late that it soon became tomorrow... (thats a bit confusing init) I feel like I've been away for ages and have really missed you...
I got the chance of a floor sander at short notice.. so it was a case of everything out of the living room, which meant disconecting the computer - and along with that went the WI FI - But hey, the floor is done, and I feel like I have created a master piece... Its' taken lots of determination physical strength and stamina... there is no way I could have done this while I was drinking, and theres no way that I could have stopped drinking without my BE family... so, I reckon it to be a team effort - Thanks again for the love and support - Sandy, STB, Chrissie, Sue, Darcy, Mamma Kitty, Fiz, Teri, Moread, Diamond Doll, And any one else that I have missed out... sorry, my memory is not what it used to be -

[STB]

Yorkie!! You are SO right - we ARE a family and I know just what you mean. I am beginning to pack this weekend as I will finally be moving out from living with my ex very soon. I am doing so much more than I would ever have done when drinking (although ironically I always told myself I needed a drink to be able to accomplish things - oh the self delusion!! ) I am thrilled things are going so well angel and I will keep you all posted about my progress with moving - it will be stressy, starting again on my own, new home, new furniture, new life.. but I know with my BE family on my side, most of all, I will do it well and I will do it sober... back tonight xxxxx PS day 19! Almost finished the three week thread