Addiction as Learnt Behaviour
Beating addiction is not a process of being told what to do differently, or learning the tricks that you were possibly lacking, those secrets which people without an addiction surely must have. No, it doesn’t work like that.
Overcoming addiction is more to do with learning about yourself, learning how you tick, what beliefs you hold, some of which you might not even be aware of, which contribute to your problems.
Most of our behaviours are very automatic, we do things without thinking too deeply about the consequences, most of the time. We are animals, just like the rest of nature, and we respond in the same way they do. Like Pavlov’s famous dogs – if you show us something that we’ve seen before, we often respond to it in a pre-programmed or learnt way. If you smell some lovely fresh food being cooked, you’ll start to produce saliva. You will also probably think certain thoughts as a result, again often automatically (though they might not FEEL automatic). Some of these thoughts are so subtle and you have them so often, you might not even notice them.
With addiction the initial event can be anything – being bored, feeling lonely, angry, disappointed, frustrated, tired. From that thought you might think something like “I can’t stand feelings like this, I must change this feeling”. Again, this thought might not be a loud one in your head, its just a way of dealing with the world and your feelings that has become automatic.
So, in a situation like this, you’ll find something to get rid of this unpleasant feeling you’ve got – “I know what will change my mood, a drink…” or some cocaine, or whatever your problem is with (whereas someone without addiction problems might choose to accept that feeling for a while, or find a less destructive way to change the feeling).
So, to change your addictive habits, you firstly need to understand fully how they work, what you are doing to sustain them. Then you can slowly relearn some healthier ways to deal with life, with your unpleasant feelings.
I believe that I have an alcohol addiction and I want to rid myself of it. I think that there is no way in which I can currently free myself of this ‘disease’, however I am willing to do what ever it may take. Both my father and older brother are heavy drinkers and I too. Ever since my mother pasted away a year and a half ago I believe, as a family, we have lost ourselves. I am looking to find a controlled and healthy way in which I can lose this burden and become whole and satisfied again as I once was. Anything would be greatfully appreciated.
Thanks,
Evan.
Change your addictive habits. What I started doing was making a big container of a juice smoothy. I carried it everywhere I went. When I thought I needed a beer, I would reach for the juice. It was filling and satisfied my stomach. I would also take fast walks. This was great. Took those cravings right away.
Pretty soon, I felt so good, I didn’t want to bring my body down with alcohol.
I developed new habits.
Thanks Cheryl, thats good advice, I have done the health replacement thing a few times but have never made the decision to truly commit myself to it, time to develop new habits!
I am a heavy drinker, and i want to stop completely. I drink one or two glasses of wine most every day, (tho i do skip some) and a lot on the weekend…can get up to 10 glasses! The thing is even two glasses leaves me waking up shaky, woozy, off-balance. I can FEEL my body struggling with it! its awful! as for the hangover on the weekend, i have to lie in all day to be able to get up at like, 1900hrs, and its mostly to go to some event where there will be more drinking!!! I never blackout or fall or need help walking, but i do have blocks of time i dont remember who i spoke to, what i did, etc. Its a Nightmare. Come monday, its back to either no drink, or one or two a day…till weekend…
the whole cycle is driving me crazy. Any MORE ideas? Cheryl, yours is great. I would just like more weapons!
you say you skip some… yet do you really? I too drinkk 2- 3 glasses of wine in the week and weekend lots more if not that i use drugs….. Although for a while i did neither and i loved my life and me lots more… identify what your escaping from, and address that, i am doin life coachin and learning to love me. i also find the gym great it gets rid of my negative energy and i feel great after…. go 4 a walk, or positive talk to myself sometimes works. or being round family and drug/alcohol free friends. alternative therapy or a nice hot bath….. can work but most of all learning to love the real you is the best. good luck, xxxx
I to can relate to the nightmare. I am so tired of waking up in the middle of the night shaking all over, headache, and dry mouth. My mind racing with anxious thoughts. What did i do? I drank too much again. Were my kids awake and did they see me like this? I can’t remember! So coming to this web site, writing this reply is a big step. I am starting to talk also to trusted folks not about alcohol but what I am learning on this site. What my habits are and how they effect me. for examlpe the negative inner self talk has got to go. I never realized till I started listening how I say to myself the same things but using different words for the situation. All are negative and damaging to ones confidence. I think it is all based on fear. So instead of drinking alcohol( which hepls in the immediate but since once i start i can’t stop) I want to try other ways of thinking. I am now doing awareness, and trying different stratigies. Last night after dinner I went for a walk. It was quite pleasant but I did not feel that buzz of calmness like the alcohol. However did i sleep better. And i did not drink. tomorrow will bring new challenges and I will have to adapt. I will share more as they come. thanks for listening.