Group Support for Alcohol Problems
An important factor in solving your problems with alcohol is talking to other people who understand what you’re going through, who won’t judge you for it, and who will genuinely share their experience without just trotting out the old clichés about drinking. I’m sure you’ve heard these many times from friends or family, like – “oh you don’t need to worry about it, you don’t have a drink first thing in the morning do you”, or “I don’t understand why you can’t just have a couple like I do” etc.
Of course most people immediately think of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings when they consider getting support from a group of people with drink problems. But again, many people are intimidated by the doctrine of AA, as the 12-step model it follows has certain expectations for you to fit into (though not all AA meetings strictly adhere to these principles). Similarly, some people are so uncomfortable and embarrassed about their drinking that they don’t want to admit it face to face with others, even if they are strangers.
Luckily there is now the option of communicating online, where the computer screen can grant you that cloak of anonymity (much like a catholic confessional, but without the “forgive me Father…”). As such you can exchange comments with others on any of the posts on this site, or more effectively you can join our alcohol support forum – day or night there will always be a wide range of people logged on who can give you feedback, support or advice about your drinking and an idea of how to make some changes. Check it out and if you like what you see, register for an account (free of course).
Hi I have been drinking 2 bottles of wine a night due to stress, as I have a son with special needs. I got so stressed I couldn’t sleep, started off as one bottle but now 2. I am unable to sleep without the wine. I recently had a social worker at my home and I was stupid in telling her I needed alcohol to sleep, she contacted my Doctor and made an appointment for me, I have to go to Doctor on Monday and s/worker has said I need to go to professional for addiction. She also spoke to my child’s Teacher and I am really ashamed. Can anyone advise me what to do ?
When she was at my home for the second time she insisted my husband was there we told her I have cut down to 2/3 glasses a night but she will not listen. I am currently finished doing courses that have taken me years to do for a better job and still want to do another one so I can get the job I long for. If this social worker and Doctor make me do as they wish I will be uinable to do the line of work I want. I could really use some help.
Hi Leanne, firstlly i think your social worker aint going to be happy until you get ‘treatment’. You can insist on confidentiality as far as your career is concerned but if I were you i would do as she says for now, I dont mean to freak you out, but if she has any concerns as to your ability to parent, your child could be temporarily removed. Ive seen this happen to a family member. Please do as she advises, and insist on strict confidentiality policy. Best of luck x
hi im new to this website.i know i drink to much and i dont wont to cut down but give up.i havnt been able to find support from any one.i feel isolated with this problem.im reading allen carrs book at the moment,how to control alcohol.im hoping it will help as years ago his book on smoking helped me to give up.is there any support on this site please?
Not feeling great
hi , i have been drinking heavy for a number of years, and my husband has had enough which idont blame him,he also is a gambler and has gambled heavy over 20 yrs,hence this is where my drinking started gradually worsened,i love him and dont want to loose all those years we hve had,i alsoknow i have to sort myself out once and for all, can anyone help me i feel soo alone
I got my 2nd DUI last year. I quit drinking for a year after my first one. I went through all the with drawls ( shaking, freezing getting sick fighting the cravings). The only thing is once in awhile i seem to talk my self into thinking i can go and just have one and it never works out like that I always end up closing the bar out. I dont know or understand why i keep falling down that path about once every couple months. I do tend to pick myself up just to do it all over again. I am trying really hard to stay away from it all. A little over 3 months ago i found a wonderful woman who has stood by me through everything and i am worried that my actions I am going to lose her. I need to figure out how to quit letting my self fall back into those moments and realize that every time i slip up i keep push her away that much farther. I am also taking a chance of losing custody of my kids and my job. which I know it isn’t worth taking that chance, but for some reason i have trouble with self control every once in awhile. I know its easy to just say to stay away but for some reason it just doesn’t feel that easy and i keep slipping up. I know my girl is losing patients with me and i cant blame her one bit. Every day its a fight. I dont want to go through this anymore. I need to find away to move on. Today is day one again and hopefully it will keep going.
Hi Marinainlove
I live in the uk and envy what your trying to do sorry for the late reply only just joined and I really want to help you. I am a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for three years and just starting my own business. I hope you are well. You seem at the end of your tether here but the truth of the matter is that your going to have to offer your loved one an ultimatum because the only time he will do anything about his problems is if he hasn’t got you around. This is what made me turn my life around hitting total rock bottom. Please visit my website and call me for a chat if you wish.
Wishing you all the best
Warmest Regards
Gemma
I am not sure if this board is for questions regarding living with an alcholic, but I am not really sure where to start, and this website appeared when I searched for online assistance.
I have been in a relationship for a year and half with a man who I love dearly. In the beginning we enjoyed going to restaurants or eating at home and having wine, but I started to realize early on that this person has a serious problem. He drinks every single day. I am not exagerating when I say every single day.
We are living in a touristic town in the Carribean, where it is not really strange to see smiling folks having margaritas early in the afternoon. My partner is unable to drink hard alcohol, as he instantly gets sick, however he drinks 5- 6 beer a day, and sometimes wine, and it starts by 12 in the afternoon.
It is a struggle for me, because I do enjoy wine as well, but I do not feel it is problem for me.
Recently our sex life has completely stopped, as he is also a chronic pot smoker, has spent a good amount of his life using drugs, cocaine, ect…..That is an occasional maybe once or twice a month now.
I love him, as he is beautiful and brilliant, but I am finding myself depressed lately because we live in paradise, and never spend time together doing beautiful things, like walking on the beach, visiting other places, ect.
He is a painter and is often waiting for his paintings to sell, and I take on the jobs that offer a predictable income.
The situation sounds terrible for those on the outside, I am aware of that. As I know what advice I would give a friend if she was in the same situation. But my heart is involved and I am scared to be alone, although I feel I am alone now.
I asked told him last night I thought he was a sick man, and that I am trying to find balance in my life now and I am choosing not to even touch alcohol again. I said, it is challenging being with a man who never wants to sleep with me unless he takes cocaine. I am a beautiful woman, talented with music, and yoga teacher as well. As I write this I realize how ridiculous it really does sound.
I just want help, and I do not want to leave him, because I love him, and I want to help him.
My father is an alcoholic and I fear my life will end up like my mothers, but I am scared to leave, as I mentioned before. I have been at a creative dead end for a while now and I rarely practice yoga. It is depressing me.
I am looking for insight as to deal with this personality.
When I ask him if he chooses alcohol and drugs over me he tells me, yes he does because he does not want a controlling woman in his life.
Please Advise with compassion and understanding if you can….
Blessings,
You might not receive that much feedback from people on an old post like this, it just doesn’t get much traffic now – try joining our free forum for a bigger audience. Alternatively Al-Anon, a support charity for relatives of alcoholics might offer some help.
I have struggled with our foe for the last 25 years. Seem to make the 90 days of sobriety then then the wheels fall off. Can’t tell you how many time I have done a home detox using various methods. I got home yesturday after been in hospital, what an ordeal. Will write down a more detailed account and post it in the next few days. Also planing on writing a sort of daily account of a rehab that I have attended twice in the last 18 months. Will be back. Good luck to you all.
Wayne, South Africa
good luck wayne i hope everything turns around for you even tho it feels impossible all the time! Its a horrible illness nd its a fight every day, just with everyday things 2 keep you occupied, well try and numb the thoughts of a craving out of your mind! im only 34 and get so angry sometimes which can be a (TRIGGER) i yet dont know how to communicate with people sober and wonder if il ever have fun without alcohol. theres an answer 4 us all (BLOODY WHERE) hope things improve tabatha x
Tabatha
Is so difficult but you will find fun again. When I stopped I use to luck at people and think oh my god ill never love life without alcohol. But you will stick with it. I took up a martial art and lost 4stone 9 pounds. I also found confidence again which helps you in every aspect of your life. Keep your chin up and keep occupied
Regards
Gemma
I stopped for almost a year ,,,,had a high point and thought dam it if I can go a year I am in control,,,,am I hell. Lost it again, now Im too low to even go long enough to even be able to take the drops, I know the drink makes me unhappy loses the friends I need to support me ,,,,,,im fucked xxx
I have been alcohol free since june 8th this year due to being rushed to hospital with an hb of 2.8 and severe jaundice, i was very ill and told there and then that i had cirrhosis of the liver due to my drinking. I was detoxed 8th june my birthday i will never forget that day, as it was the start of a very hard battle that lay ahead, and still is. Im struggling with cravings , anger ,depression , and severe anxiety which is a very dangerous combination when your an alcoholic. I dont know how to live without it, its like im floating around in a bubble of emptiness and im petrified of that bubble getting burst so that i have to deal with reality its really scary!
I think Al said it all there
I MUST confess that when I’d heard about ‘online counselling’ years ago, I thought ‘how the hell is that going to work?’ Well, I do attend AA meetings to keep myself aware that I have no control over booze. In other words, once I start I cannot stop. However, AA meetings DO have to draw to a close, so people are a little vulnerable outside of those AA hours. This online information, here is JUST FANTASTIC!! It means, for me, at least, that I can visit regularly and just remind myself again of the pain that long term alcohol addiction causes. The worst thing any addict can do, after a period of abstinence is to get complacent. I find that, visiting this site, reading the information that is relevant to ME and reading REAL peoples stories, comments and reactions, really is a great bonus to me. Thank you ‘Bright eye’ for providing a superb service!
12 day last night was rough feel shakey than i did a week ago dropped a val but still feel like breaking out or someones nose will these cravings go