One of the biggest difficulties people face when they’re trying to stop drinking is what to do when other people are drinking alcohol around them.
The temptation to have a drink yourself is one aspect of it - “they can do it, so why can’t I?” Seeing them getting merry, and desperately wanting a taste too. How are you supposed to resist the urge?
The other aspect is, you begin to realise your drunk friends are actually quite tiresome, their sense of humour doesn’t quite match yours anymore, you feel left behind. Suddenly you’re the odd one out, when you’ve been so used to being part of the crowd, one of the party. This can feel very isolating if you’re the only one who’s not drinking.
Then of course there’s the concerned advice from your inebriated companions:
- “what’s wrong with you?”,
- “go on, just one won’t hurt…”,
- “don’t be such a _____ ” (insert a likely derogatory label).
This makes it even harder, and what should be a fun evening can turn into an endurance test.
This all depends on the company you’re with of course, if you’re just with your family or your partner in a restaurant then obviously the pressure won’t be so awkward, but pubs, bars and clubs with your old ‘drinking buddies’ will take some getting used to.
What really helps here is to enlist an ally - a close friend (or your partner perhaps), who’s not that bothered about drinking either and is prepared to be sober for a night to keep you company. That way you won’t feel quite so different, and you’ll have somebody who’s on your level, someone you can chat to comfortably (make sure you sit next to them of course). You won’t need to do this forever, but just until you get used to not drinking when your friends are.
Hello. Im 23, and ive been reading all these stories, and a couple touched home. I want to stop so bad, my friends a s family even my boss tell me. Im so close to losing it all but every afternoon i find myself having a couple shots, and before i know it im the last one still standing and drinking and i dont remember. I want to stop..
Hiya all,
Inspired by reading your comments. Basically i’de say I’m your typical binge drinker. I can go days without drinking but when I do drink I just turn into this looser of a man. I gossip, talk rubbish and basically think I should not go down that road again. Even the after efects of being paranoid and on edge for a few days after has brought me to the point of never wanting to drink again.
I’m from an area where drinking is the way of life. All my friends, close and not so close drink to socialise. The only time we meet when no drinking is involved is when I’m partaking in my hobby.
I so want to quit the booze and I’m ready but what I’m kind of upset about is missing all the great laughs in nights out with friends.
I think I’ll just have to appreaciat the clarity and remember how bad it is when the paranoia sets in during a hangover.
2weeks booze free this Friday.
Keep up the good work all
Clint
Clint, reading your words was like I was speaking them, every last one of them describes my life and drinking habits. I made the decision 2 days ago to stop being that person to stop drinking for good. I hope your in a good place. Angela
Hi, I’m 24, I’ve quit drinking and smoking weed for four months now. I was a chronic for ten years and somewhat of an alchoholic. I don’t have a hard time hanging out with people that are drunk or smoking in general. However my girlfriend does like to get drunk once in a while and this seems to cause me some grief. Any clues on why that may be?
Because a girlfriend is a companion, somebody who is with you during times of stress and indurance. Not saying she shouldn’t drink, if she wants to make the decision to drink every now and then, it should be fine, as long as she supports you through times of hardship, then you got a keeper.
You were an alcoholic at 14?
I think I have a problem. I won’t drink for a while and then I will have 4 or 5 drinks and then I get sick and make a fool out of myself. I decided just to stop for good. Sometimes I can have just once not other times. I guess it’s once a month I binge. Now I am trying to stay away from friends that drink and focus on my school. I’m 25 and want to stay healthy. I hope I can do it
You can do it. I’m 36 and realized I had a drinking problem in
my late teens, early 20’s. I tried to quit many times without success.
Don’t be embarrassed. I almost lost my husband and son
over alcohol. Alcohol came first. Until I quit. Quitting was the hardest
thing I have ever done. Read, read and read some more on line about
other peoples stories about your age, and older. Look for similarities in their
life and yours.
I drank for 20 years. 10 almost everyday and never had withdraws.
It took 120 days to quit thinking about alcoholic. You can do it.
I’m sending positive energy your way!
Rebecca
Boston, USA
Hi Jenny - Can I ask how yoi have got on with this? I am 25 also and after a good 5 years of continuing to go out with friends and get drunk and embarass myself I have reached the end of my tether. But I am also terrified of what not drinking means in terms of my social life. I am about to go away to Sicily with 7 of my girl mates - some who drink and some who don’t - and I am scared of being thought of as a party pooper x
most people in recovery don’t go to bars or clubs anymore…lol, they do not belong there,…duhh!!!! if you hang around a barber shop long enufff you will get a hair cut!! dry faces and dry places!!
at least for the first year or more.
Big book step study alcoholic anonymous meetings. Saved my life try it out.
Hello everyone, thanks for sharing your stories and experiences. I’m a 21 year old alcoholic. Last night I consumed 66 ounces of whiskey, didn’t sleep (and still haven’t. It’s 5:02 PM, started drinking at around 7:30 last night.) everyday I tell myself I won’t let it happen, I won’t let it happen. As the time goes on the suspense increases. By the time 4:30 comes I have already lost myself, and find myself convincing myself it’s okay and there is nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks. Next thing I know I am sitting in my dark basement apartment by myself 66 ounces of whiskey deep. Followed by the day after (today) where I am desperately searching for a way out. I constantly see everyone moving on in life but I can’t seem to shake the liquor. I really hope I can find a way around it soon.
I can’t say that I fully relate to what your experiencing but I started drinking when I was a lot younger around the age of 12, living with a single parent mum I wasn’t really under a whole lot of constraint. I use to hang out with wrong crowd and we’d go out get some hard liquor and just get really messed up, eventually I just matured and outgrew this phase. However I began socially drinking, out at clubs, parties etc. and it got to the point where when ever I went out I would need to get tipsy or I wouldn’t feel comfortable, and then with issues of between I and my ex I started drinking even more until one night I lost control and ended up literally trying to drown myself by drinking shot after shot till the point where I could barely stand. The day after I looked back at myself and said this isn’t Healthy and I can’t keep doing this, I didn’t seek out help or try to involve myself in AA I really just wanted to move on with my life, so I did I stopped drinking and I even had to stop going out to prevent myself from being tempted to drink. eventually I kicked the habit and started going out again this time sober, until one night i thought i’d be okay to drink and ended up getting really drunk. The day after that I realized that it wasn’t okay for me to justify drinking anymore it was something I needed to cut out, so again i did the same thing I would never say to myself it was okay to have just one I completely had to cut it out, and it’s been a year since I’ve had a single drink and I don’t plan on having one anytime soon. You’ve got to ask yourself whether or not you really want to be sober and how important it is to be, then you need to be as focused as ever to resist temptation and if you don’t think you can do it alone get yourself help and the support that you need. Goodluck
I have tried so many times to quit on my own. I started going to AA meetings and talking to other alcoholics. That is the only way. Alcoholics are so helpful and understanding. I have admitted that my life has become unmanageable and I am powerless when it comes to alcohol. I’m on day 18 and feel great but without going to meetings, reading, praying and my sponsor,,,, I know I will drink again. I feels so good NOT to drink. It is a one day at a time program and its all about helping each other.
Day 11 and AA works for me. I am powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable
Also wanted to say what makes it harder is they are his prescription medication, so the argument is always that the dr precribes them.
Hi all. Thank you for sharing your stories as of course I can relate to a lot of them. My addiction started with alcohol and marijuana and progressed slowly but steadily to every drug imaginable. I’ve tried getting sober more times than I can remember in and out of detox to rehab and after care and when my daughter was born I thought that would be my life changer but even after she was born I had slips of going back to drugs. Even during the times I was considering myself sober I still drank some times monthly or weekly then daily. My daughter was put into foster care by child protective services last year and I’m now in a great program working on myself and my mental illness, I’m bipolar. If I continue to stay sober she will come home. I cant explain the amount of guilt and shame I have for letting her down in such an unforgivable way. I had all of the resources from being in treatment and still didn’t use them. I’ve caused her such pain at such a young age she’s in second grade. Now I am clean and scared to death to loose her. I also depend on my boyfriend completely for all of my financial needs, housing, gas, food, medication, etc. This is temporary until I start recieving my income again. The problem is he is using drugs on and off and no matter how many times I ask he wont stop. He doesn’t believe he has a problem. He has pain from an injury and uses pills for pain relief but admits that he likes to get high on them too. Is it possible to recover in a house with other active drinkers or people who use drugs? I cant talk about his drug use in at my treatment facility because they report to the family division and I’m afraid of losing my daughter
No, you need to get away from people who are using!!! Even if it’s your boyfriend… He doesn’t care about anything but getting high right now and should clean up with u in order to get your daughter, but he’s not… Leave ASAP