Addiction and Mental Health
For most people with alcohol problems, they often have a number of unresolved difficulties with life generally.
Excessive drinking is often a symptom of other problems. Some of these may be minor of course, like an aversion to being bored, or a lack of confidence socially, or just a limited variety of ways to relax.
Some people have more deep-rooted problems behind their addictions - like anxiety, depression, lack of self-esteem etc. These can all be addressed with cognitive counselling techniques however.
Then there are many people with more serious mental health problems who end up having difficulties with alcohol. ‘Self-Medicating’ they call it in the medical profession. Basically, if life is unbearable and beyond your ability to cope with it, then people will try anything to feel better, even if it’s only for a few hours. And never mind what happens later.
Say what you like about alcohol, but one thing’s for sure - it can certainly take your mind off things if you’re feeling distressed. So if you’ve been trying to live with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia for years and nothing the medical profession has suggested has really helped that much, it’s no surprise when people turn to the bottle.
However, once that ‘self-medication’ turns into dependency, then the situation can spiral out of control. And this is where it becomes more difficult to help people solve their addiction issues. It’s not impossible of course, it just takes more work and perhaps a little more motivation.
Hi. This is my first time on this site. I am 60 years old female, and am drinking more and more. It takes more and more wine to get me to my “place”. For the last two weeks, I have been drinking at work. I take small bottles of wine, and sneak sips during work. Sometimes if I have any left over wine from the night before, I will drink it before I even get to work. The weekends are the worst. This past weekend, on Saturday, I was so drunk, I could barely make it up the stairs to my bed. And yes, I am depressed - especially on Mondays - when my head is filled with self lothing, guilt. I never do anything on the weekends - that’s my drinking time. I would at this point rather stay home and drink then go out and socialize. Drinking has consumed me and my so called life. I feel like I just need to share my story…I don’t know how to be me any more. By the way, when I am out with friends, I drink very moderately. I don’t want anyone to know just how much I drink. I am so ashamed.
I have an ex partner who binge drinks and has mental health problems. It is very difficult for him to distinguish what the real problems are when the two are so entangled. He believes his mental health problems are caused by the drinking. But I think the drinking is self-medication for the mental health problems, and yet both make either situation worse. It’s incredibly difficult, almost impossible to change in this situation. When he’s sober, he fools himself into believing he can control the drinking because he says he feels strong, yet when a problem comes along, and it doesn’t even have to be a problem, he drinks when he’s bored or excited, he will drink, and the week or two long binge will start again. At first I was supportive and encouraging but then I became cynical, which is why I had to end the relationship. It was no good for both of us. He has got a long way to go before he changes. And I believe the first step is admitting to being powerless against the urge to drink. I wish he would attend AA, but he says the God aspect puts him off. I can only hope and pray one day he will start to really change. For himself!
hayley, what you wrote…you could BE my ex-partner.very humbling to read, thankyou.
I was raised in an alcoholic home, where there was always violence and drinking going on. I grew up an angry, lonely, hostile child with very low self esteem. I grew up hiding the true me from myself and everyone else. I’ve suppressed “me” so well, that I don’t know who I am. As a adult, I detest the odour, the taste, everything to do with alcohol. Instead I became a opiate addict. Heroin gave me courage, increased my self esteem, and it helped me hide from life itself. I’ve been drug free for a few years now, but a lot of the issues I had before sobriety, I still have today. Today I causes myself a lot of pain because I am afraid to open up and see me. After reading the above comments, I realize, Im definitely in need of therapy for my bi-polar diagnosis that I have never admitted to myself or to any one else. I believe to stay i in recovery, I must seek treatment for my mental state as well as treating my addiction. I was surfing the net and came across this site and I could relate to all the comments. I am so grateful for you all that have the courage to share your stories with people suffering just like me.
It’s good to see people discuissing these issues in a positive manner. I got into drinking and drug taking from 14 and I finally got clean 6 months ago. It’s been a crazy 6 months and I have started a journey which will hopefully lead me to find out who I really am am and allow me to live a normal, happy and fulfilling life. I have always avoided the reality of life and responsibilities. I have always found myself going through periods of depression and then massive highs. Perhaps I am bi-polar, this I will find out through my doctor I hope, but in the meantime I am finding a huge amount of support and help by going to AA. I am not alone in my problems of depression, addictions and fantasy. That is a greaqt relief in itself. I thoroughly reccommend anyone who is addicted to drink & drugs (or sex, food, porn etc etc like me!) to have a look at 12-step fellowships like Alcoholics Anonymous. If I hadn’t gone into AA I would have killed myself or continued drinking - ruining my life and those who care about me. As Gee says, it is about self-reflection. After all, that is what I have always avoided because I was so disgusted with myself. I have come to realise that I’m not that bad and that I have a lot to offer. I’m looking at different types of therapy to augment my recovery programme through AA. I’m not sure if CBT or Psychoanalytical would be best, but I know that either will probably help. If you are finding things hard, remember that there are people who have beaten addictive personality problems in the past. They just did something about it and perservered. You can do it too. Good luck!
It’s true — the drinking has a root cause but the alcoholism will get you. The root cause is the issue that needs to be dealt with; and some self exploration is going to help you to discover what that is. I think my root cause of drinking was initially the means to “get high and have fun — I was bored!” I also didn’t have a positive influence seeing my mother drinking all the time either, so it was second nature. Throughout the years in High School; drinking and getting wasted was fun! Until I got older; and the issue stemed from not having the awareness to build healthy relationships in social situations with men. I would drink to cover up anxiety and I suppose a sense of inadequency. A means to escape and “let loose”… literally. It lead me to “hook-up” when drunk and that became a compulsion. I realized because my father never gave me positive messages about sexuality—and was sexually abusive in an understated way with his words and the way he spoke about it. I didn’t learn about healthy boundaries; self love—etc. It caused my self esteem to keep lowering—to the point of numbness of sex after a while. I yearned for that healthy relationship—yet I struggled to feel that wholesomeness within myself. It wasn’t until divorcing both my parents for their unfitness to be parents even as me as an adult (I’m 27) now… going to therapy, alot of self reflection, setting goals and even if failing getting back up again to try… learning alot about healthy relationships, etc… and then finally admitting I was an addict and my goal for being sober that I started feeling my feelings of healing more deeply and I finally feel a sense of freedom. It’s hard, especially when you are a young adult trying to figure this all out! But, you can do it!
I too have my problem days and I think most people do otherwise there wouldn’t be so many liquor stores. My solution is meditation. I found it hard to meditate until I began using audios to help me stay focussed. Meditation really does help to kep you calm and you feel better.
Like Tim, I was a terrible insomniac as a young child. I find my mind really races when I need it to calm down. It isn’t about worry as such, more that I just don’t switch off very easily.
The same is probably true physically…I used to be very active, running, dancing, riding etc. Perhaps some of us are just ‘higher geared’. When I have stopped in the past, I have had the most enormous rush of energy. Perhaps if I learn to welcome the chance to just wear myself out, I will stand more chance of being sober. The problem is that I am looking after my husband who was disabled by a stroke two years ago. He now suffers from epilepsy and I don’t feel happy leaving him alone. There surely must be a balance I can find here. I feel lousy at the moment though (after months and months of drinking far too much every evening) so I don’t think I’ll be dragging the dog out for a midnight walk!
I have many things useful in this article. I have realized that I am addicted to many things. Pills, alcohol, marijuana, and nicotine. I use all of them to numb my pain that I feel everyday. Everyday I have a hard time getting out of bed. I’m exhausted but yet I haven’t done anything. My drinking has several problems and now I can’t even socially drink without freaking out over something stupid, like a certain comment. I get violent and incoherant. The next day I don’t remember but I can see by all the broken stuff I had another one of those nights. I don’t know what to do. I have been in therapy and am on medication for depression and anxiety already.
I think you may be on to something I can use. I’ve never heard of drinking out of boredom but I have clearly seen it with myself. I like to keep high paced busy days. The more work,exercise ,entertainment and social stimulation I can pack in a day the better I feel. Though I generally turn to alcohol at night to shut my brain down I also feel less bored when I add a few drinks to the pre-bedtime wind down. Without the drinks my insomnia is unbearable and I suffer the next day due to lack of sleep. If I limit the drinks to 4-5 in the evening(2 before dinner and 3 a couple hours later before retiring I sleep great and feel great the next day,often getting up at 5:30 am to go on a 5 mile run. Unfortunately as of late it takes more like 6 or 7 drinks per day to reach that feeling of being ready to retire. Since I was a kid I’ve walked and talked in my sleep. If I drink past 6 drinks I sleep walk several hours later and have had some falls at home including some injuries. My tolerance to alcohol has clearly increased. I’ve ordered the herbal medicine on your web site in hopes that it will help.