The Addictive Personality
For most people with some sort of alcoholism, their over use of alcohol has arisen from too many unpleasant emotions in their lives.
As such, understandably they yearn for the good feelings usually associated with positive life experiences. These feelings are immediately available through alcohol, so excessive use can take hold. As many an alcoholic has said -
“I just wanted to feel normal…”
The important thing here is that most of the time alcoholics do not feel normal, they feel like something is wrong. Sometimes it’s because a part of their personality is not being expressed fully, they are suppressing a part of themselves which may have been buried for years, for so long they have probably forgotten it was a part of them.
What often happens though is that when drunk, these suppressed or forgotten parts of us come out to play - sometimes this is enjoyable, and sometimes not. But the way people behave when they are intoxicated can be very informative. It can tell us a lot about the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the addiction.
These two aspects of an addict’s personality - ‘the straight’ and ‘the addictive’ are very often in conflict with each other. They don’t like the other part, they don’t trust them and they fear each other.
To move forward, there has to be a truce. An acceptance and understanding of both parts of the self. You need to recognise what the positive qualities are about both. Then maybe some of the guilt and self-blame can subside…
» Read this related article on Addiction and Mental Health.
Hello Alfie, i was doing a small research on self esteem and i happened to read your need for help article. I think you are going thru episodes of alcohol withdawal and you may need medical intervention. I lso think you are somewhat depressed because you said u do not like how u look. You must remember that everything is doable but keep in mind that without helping yourself no on else can. I sometimes have episodes of depression where i feel that i can not get out of the bed and have to push myself. I wonna cover myself with a blanket all day but have to fight this kinds of feelings coz they are a sign of depression. Every day is a struggle for me but i usually make it. I can not let that defeat me. I do not have weight problem but when i happen to gain even a couple of ppounds my depression usually is bad. I try to approach life in a positive way although it is a struggle. I would suggest you first work on your alcohol problem because this is your number one factor that prevent you from taking care of yourself physically. Second keep in mind that no one can get you out of this whole but u. Just get up one morning with a mission to change your life and be productive. I am not sure what your status is but u can do it. U do not want to end up destroying your liver or become a dialysis patient i see it everyday and it is far worse than ur current position. U are a beautiful person with a purpose, u just need a little push by u. Do alot of reading and do not pity urself coz that only makes things worse. Do not take diazepam with alcohol coz it is contraindicated. There is that strong person deep within you and let that person come out and shine and you can make it. I do not know u, but i hope i did not scare u. Life is real. Alcohol has never done any good to anyone and especially if u are depended on it. Take care .
Hi Everyone
Please help me - Im at the lowest of the lows. I cant stop drinking. This weekend was a total nightmare. When I dont drink I feel physically sick, have put on tons of weight and look awful. I really really want to get better - help me. If I can stop drinking my life will be nearly perfect. Im frightened to stop because of feeling so totally ill. Has anyone been in this position. I suppose I drink about 27 units a day day in day out! I have got some diazepam but am afraid to take it!
Alfie