Cutting Down or Giving Up Drinking
Do you need to give up drinking completely if you have a problem with alcohol? There are conflicting opinions on this. The AA approach says that abstinence is the only way that works for sure.
But being abstinent is no guarantee against a relapse, and some would say that it is just avoiding the problem, not dealing with it. So how about learning some new habits around alcohol instead – because you have learnt how you behave towards alcohol already, so surely those habits can be changed?
Giving up for a while could be a useful exercise though – it doesn’t have to be forever. In fact the thought of it being a lifetime commitment prevents some people from even contemplating a period of sobriety. Why not try a month of no drinking at all, just to see how it feels? Then if you can manage that ok, you can decide whether to keep going with it, or not, the choice is yours.
The difficulty with cutting down of course is that all your best intentions tend to dissolve after the first few drinks – so a self-imposed limit is easily ignored with a slightly inebriated justification (‘oh I’ll do it tomorrow instead’, ‘I had a really hard day today, I deserve another one’, ‘oh he’s opened another bottle, it would be rude of me to refuse’ etc.)
Delaying the time you allow yourself to start drinking is one way to make cutting down easier. If you have less time for drinking, then perhaps you’ll drink less quantity (that’s the theory). A drinking diary can also help you keep track of how much you’ve actually had over the week.
How much you drink also tends to be a product of how much alcohol you purchase. So one obvious step is to not buy quite so much. Make sure you don’t keep any drink in the house – just buy it as you need it. That way the choice to drink has to be a conscious decision. Don’t forget, for this to really work you’ll need your partner to agree on the plan, so they don’t buy any either, unless you both decide to.
There’s a third option too – a combination of cutting down and giving up – just staying sober for a day or two at a time every week. It’s better than nothing, and you’re getting used to dealing with life without drinking. Try and plan which days you’re going to do it in advance, and plan to do something else incompatible with drinking perhaps. But be careful of the trap of rewarding yourself for your two days of sobriety with, you guessed it, a binge!
hi guys en gals. I have two cans of Stella every night, iv only just started questioning whether I have a problem because of this. every morning i wake up tired and say to myself in the shower that “tnite il not have anything”. sure enough when night comes and the kids are asleep I go to the fridge and grab a can. half of the problem is I like the taste too much, the other half is I think in my mind im telling myself that I won’t sleep if I don’t drink. iv been doing this for two years now. would you consider this as a problem?
ive been with my parner for 4 years now. hes been dependant on a drink since he was 14 years old and is now 31. he has had a hard life and has tried although i do feel he hasnt tried loads. i am engaged to him and would like another child before i get to past it but i fear that his drinking wont get any better. we did split up for a few months as the way he was with me was terrible and he has been miles better but he still drinks more on the weekends and there becoming where the arguing is worse! i could really do with some advice on how to go about things.. i love him loads but with his drink im not sure wether to throw in the towel or not please help xx
I’ve been ‘drinkfree’ for a month.. I’ve slowly watched condensation form on a partial bottle of wine. First time to witness that..
.. more like a scientific experiment.
Hi folks,
Just found this site and have been reading through the comments with a mixture of deep hope and also fear.
Have been drinking heavily since my (heavy drinking) sister and my husband had a sexual affair which resulted in my (already dysfunctional) family being finally shattered completely.
I am a professional and have found my ambitions thwarted by my stupid hangover/drinking mistakes on many occasions. Luckily, I avoided losing my driving license (so far) and have managed to keep my house. On 3 occasions I have been reported to Social Services for my drinking, but as I manage to function (God knows how) in terms of holding down a job and feeding/clothing my poor daughter, I have escaped losing custody of her.
I have been drinking at least 2 daily bottles of wine for 10 years. Have lost 3 relationships (2 to 3 years has been the limit they can stand). My looks were certainly better, 10 years of stressful heavy drinking have put a good stone on my figure and my skin (particularly on my face) now has red veins etc. Due to my having ‘enough’ money, I had laser treatment to reduce this, but it is expensive and doesn’t last if you continue to drink.
I cancel so many social invites/opportunities (for both my daughter and her friends and myself) because I know I will be too over the limit to either pick her up or drive myself there. Her friends’ parents are beginning to recognise, so her social circle is drying up too.
I spent a year off work (paid) with anxiety/panic attacks/depression. Received alcohol counselling for a year. I don’t think I was ready for that (have a degree in Psychology, so found it hard to distance myself).
Recently, a friend/brother in law died (he was a heavy drinker, but died of cancer). This has woken me up to how short life can be.
I haven’t had a drink since a week ago.
Doesn’t feel bad at all you know? It was a nice day yesterday. Sun was out, we went for a drive (without worrying about my license). I had ENERGY (not had that in way too long). Got the giggles and had a belly laugh with my daughter (not done that without alcohol). The money in my purse is STILL there??? (can’t remember the last time that happened either). I feel very tired in the evenings and have a hot chocolate, watch a film (and I actually remember what I watched), then I ACTUALLY do go up to my lovely bed. I no longer worry/feel ashamed each morning when my daughter wakes me up from the couch to say she is off to school – I get up (from my bed) and we actually communicate. Have noticed that she doesn’t ask me ‘are you working today?’ – perhaps that fear of coming home to a stinking slobby drunken aggressive ‘mum’ on the couch is beginning to lessen for her?
I REALLY hope that I can do this. Life is infinitely better within just 1 week. Not only for me. I did read a good book by Jason Vale … ‘Kick the drink …easily!’ which stuck in my head (although I read it a month ago) and has helped quite a bit.
Life is for living and have been slowly killing myself for too long.
Other things I am doing right now (which may or may not be helping, but I do anyway) are taking Black Cohosh tablets and Bladderwort.
I haven’t really had nightmares or nightsweats, which may be due to that?
The fear of having a seizure has now gone. It was a real fear as I witnessed it with my sister when she withdrew (but she was a whisky drinker – a litre a day).
I will try and keep you updated if this posting has helped. As yet I am unsure whether I will drink again. I don’t want to be a social leper through not drinking, but at the moment I KNOW for certain I have become one through my drinking and am happier not to drink at all.
Thanks for reading this, would appreciate your comments. Wishing you all the best of luck with your (obvious) struggles too x