Cutting Down or Giving Up Drinking
Do you need to give up drinking completely if you have a problem with alcohol? There are conflicting opinions on this. The AA approach says that abstinence is the only way that works for sure.
But being abstinent is no guarantee against a relapse, and some would say that it is just avoiding the problem, not dealing with it. So how about learning some new habits around alcohol instead – because you have learnt how you behave towards alcohol already, so surely those habits can be changed?
Giving up for a while could be a useful exercise though – it doesn’t have to be forever. In fact the thought of it being a lifetime commitment prevents some people from even contemplating a period of sobriety. Why not try a month of no drinking at all, just to see how it feels? Then if you can manage that ok, you can decide whether to keep going with it, or not, the choice is yours.
The difficulty with cutting down of course is that all your best intentions tend to dissolve after the first few drinks – so a self-imposed limit is easily ignored with a slightly inebriated justification (‘oh I’ll do it tomorrow instead’, ‘I had a really hard day today, I deserve another one’, ‘oh he’s opened another bottle, it would be rude of me to refuse’ etc.)
Delaying the time you allow yourself to start drinking is one way to make cutting down easier. If you have less time for drinking, then perhaps you’ll drink less quantity (that’s the theory). A drinking diary can also help you keep track of how much you’ve actually had over the week.
How much you drink also tends to be a product of how much alcohol you purchase. So one obvious step is to not buy quite so much. Make sure you don’t keep any drink in the house – just buy it as you need it. That way the choice to drink has to be a conscious decision. Don’t forget, for this to really work you’ll need your partner to agree on the plan, so they don’t buy any either, unless you both decide to.
There’s a third option too – a combination of cutting down and giving up – just staying sober for a day or two at a time every week. It’s better than nothing, and you’re getting used to dealing with life without drinking. Try and plan which days you’re going to do it in advance, and plan to do something else incompatible with drinking perhaps. But be careful of the trap of rewarding yourself for your two days of sobriety with, you guessed it, a binge!
Hi Everyone-
Great success stories! Day5- no drink. And I have done this before. This time..I’d like to do a full lifestyle/mindset makeover. I have no cravings, but I was drinking too much/often. So…I think I am at the point of being tired of getting tired!?
When I walk by the liquor aisle I roll my eyes and think-”oh please!” Sort of like that ex-lover who calls up after repeated blunders…..go away….
I like drinking wine/beer…but….I wasn’t drinking…it was drinking ME…
One day at a time…Let’s make it happen ……….
I quit alcohol 2 months ago. I don’t think I was an alcoholic per se but an enthusiastic wine drinker for sure. It was a habit of drinking 2 glasses every other day for about 7 years. At weekends could have been a glass or two more. I have alcoholism in my family so all my life I have been conscious of this danger. I thought about quitting many times but didn’t have the self discipline to do it. And then 2 months ago I decided to do a one week herbal detox just to cleanse the body and drinking no alcohol was part of it. Physically it was not difficult to quit. My body did not crave for alcohol. The hard part was passing the wine shelves at stores and finding something else relaxing to do in the evening. After the week was over, I decided to extend it to a month because I felt more energetic and good about not drinking. I also finally slept through the night and was rested in the morning. After the month was over I thought about having a glass of wine to celebrate the fact that I did it. So I bought a bottle, poured a glass, smelled it and I didn’t want it. My body didn’t want it. I emptied the bottle in the sink and have not even entertained the thought of drinking since.
Unless you drink alcohol in moderation, you are basically destroying your body. And if you are in touch with your body, what it wants and needs, then you will not want to harm it that way. I’ve turned a page in my life: I eat healthily and don’t drink alcohol. I do sports, I have lots of energy and I’m happy. I don’t know if I will never drink again, I might have a sip of sparkling on occasion but all in all, the very smell of alcohol already does nothing for me. I’m just over it.
I’m 23 years old and I’ve been drinking every night for several years. Blacking out occasionally but mostly browning out. I will drink a bottle or two of wine or several very large cocktails a night. On weekends there might be some beer or margaritas thrown in there. I don’t really get hangovers just emotionally hangovers. Usually I wake up tired and foggy and guilty because I feel like a failure. I haven’t experienced any serious problems from drinking yet and I still have a lot of fun while doing it. I’m just starting to wonder more and more if/when I’m ever going to want to slow down. I haven’t had a drink in 2 days but I keep telling myself I don’t know why I’m doing this. My goal is to not drink for 7 days and then try to keep it to 3 days a week. I don’t know if I can stick to it. It’s a little scary to me how hard this is.
Nancy, if you were my sister, I’d be most concerned. You can do it and you can do it with support. There might be AA, NA near you &(poss online), Moderation Management (online), Supportive friends, family (poss) and great websites- LIKE THIS ONE.(:
Nancy, are u pursuing your dreams…you’re 23…You can make it a great life without so much alcohol (: Please…
hi. 4 pints at the pub and 2 big bottles of cider shandy made me dirty, tired, hot and sweaty when i stayed at my mum and dad’s once every month.
Day one…
This site is very helpful . I have been a heavy drinker for 20years but much worse the last ten , drinking at least a bottle of wine a night and two at weekends plus top up G&T after I finish the bottle . I have wanted to stop for ages and I am one of those people who hides the problem well – good job , family etc – , tried a few times and fell off after a week . This time I am determined for the same reasons you guys are plus I had a liver test that showed up damage ,want to feel better , dont want that terrible guilt feeling about what I have said or done the previous nite all the people I have upset or been rde to all the drunken rows – I realise all the worst things that have happened in my life have been related to drinking , I have started thinking about why i drink and I think for lots of people it fills up a painful void , mine is because I never felt loved or accepted by my parents lost my real mum at a young age and never really got over it i drink to lose the the pain . Alcohol destroyed my first marriage but its not going to get this one – I read somewhere that you have to think of it like you have 2 brains – the good brain and the booze brain – its the booze brain that tells you to keep drinking . at the moment i am off drink for 5 days and i keep fighting back to the booze brain saying i am in charge – it seems to help
good luck all of you – its good to know that I am not the only one x
Hi all – I’m on day 12 not drinking. Never thought of myself as an alcoholic but realised I was drinking 4-5 bottles of wine a week and getting cranky if my hubby wanted even 1 glass from ‘my’ bottle…. I used to bulls**t myself that I deserved it: work, kids etc etc but in reality it was just an emotional crutch thatbwasvdoing more harm than good. made me tired, grumpy and stressed out my young kids. However, giving up has been HARD : I have the mindset but physically my body doesn’t seem to want to sleep before 2am (& I’m in bed by 10pm) and I have to be up early most days so am tired a lot of the time. I also am struggling to relax in the evenings (when i used to drink). I don’t want to ‘do more’ as I do enough already: work, mum, gym etc etc and just need to find a way to physically stop and be calm inside in the evening instead of just this unsettled confused feeling inside. I also still have some mild kidney pain on the right hand side – is that usual in the early stages? I promised myself I’d give up alcohol for threshold of 2013 so any tips/ suggestions would be welcome. And good luck to everyone! Julia x
hi everyone, I come on here time to time and read everyone’s stories and find them all very interesting and extremely similar to my own experiences. Wont bore you the background but this is the first time I have been sober for 10 or 12 years for a period of …. 4 days! doesnt sound much but believe me, its a achievement for me who has drank solidly every day for 12 years (apart from 9 month break to have my gorgeous girl now 8). it certainly crept up on me, i didnt think i drank much until I realised I was spending 300 quid a month on booze and the bottle bin was always overflowing by the time the refuse collectors came so I would end up sneaking to the bottle bank to get rid. Even on day 4 I am still feeling the withdrawal, but its much better than waking up wondering if I have upset my husband, daughter or send a rude message on facebook etc… the self loathing is going and now i lie awake not being able to sleep due to withdrawal as oppsed to self loathing cos i drunk too much hours earlier and I know where I would rather be. I know its early days but for me this is a good start, wish me luck on a long journey – I also found Jason Vale really good – still reading it now and I keep holding on to the various mantra’s in the book…. stick with it guys, we can do it and we remember we are not along in our vices and addictions…. its no bad thing facing up to it and hopefully I will stick it out and never relapse..xx
That’s great! Congratulations!
Good luck…How are you today?
like you all out there im sure none of you would think you would be in this position.wish i could blame it on everything else but at the end of the day its my fault.i have been drinking a few wines/vodcas every night then just over a year ago my husband had a massive stroke at the age of 49.he wasnt supposed to make it but did(thank god)but now we live every day with someone who is a complete stranger and because of everything we have not had time to mourn loosing him and gaining a complete stranger(which none of us like)
For those of you who want to know what benefits have accrued in the small time I have been off the drink I can mention
1 My nose has shrunk to a normal size and the pores have got smaller.
2 I have lost a lot of weight, my stomach is now flat.
3 Best of all I am able to get proper erections which I was unable to for about 8 years.
Takes take donyt gi up, wat works for one of us dont for another, just keep tryin we wont fail
Well done to all of you who have stopped or cut down drinking. I have been off for 2 months now and am still a bit twitchy but otherwise feel great. I drank 14 % red wine every day (it’s cheap here). I would drink a litre or more if I hadn’t drunk beer or vermouth during the day. I have cravings for caffeine and sweet things at the moment and I go along with them. I often think about getting a litre and filling a large glass with lovely, strong red wine but I’m not going to do it. Happy Christmas best wishes and Yes We Can Stop Drinking That Filthy Poison.
well done
i drink only on the weekends, but when i drink i get black outs and cant remember doing much, i really would like to give up drink but its so hard , my partner drinks every weekend also but he know s his limit and I m the one who ends up drinking on my own and blacking out!
Hi Susan,
I’ve been having the exact same problem as you for the last few years.I keep getting far too drunk and blacking out every weekend I go out. And no matter how many times I declare to myself I’m not gonna do it again I always do! Just wondering how you are getting on since you posted that comment? Any useful tips?? I m also sick of that guilty self loathing feeling the next day!
Hi, I am now 24 yrs old. I have been drinking since I was 18, and daily drinking since I was 21.over the last few years I have progressively gotten worse. Generally I consume 1-2 bottles of wine, or 5-8 beers a night. I am young and am relatively in good shape.I have had an urge to quit drinkingfor some time now; not because I don’t ever want to drink, but because I know I have serously let this get out of hand. I live with my gf of 5 yrs and have somehow led her to believethat I am not an alcoholic. (Maybe due to me hiding me drinking and developed a great poker face). This to me is the worst part. I don’t want to lie anymore. I want to remember my nights and have energy. Today IS a week with no drink, I am overy tired in the mornings and feelit is very hard to get out of bed. Usueally, even after a hard night drinking, I wake up with a surprisinglylarge amount of energy. Could this be due to blood sugar levels? Also, I have noticed my sex drive has jumped up significantly. I am drinking a LOT of water, I noticed that consuming water until I am full really helps curb the urge.currently its a Friday night and my gf had left a half empty bottle of wine on thet counter, its been hard, but I will get through.and no she does not know I am tryingto quit. I really would rather do this on my own.I really hope all of you succeed in cutting down or quitting.best wishes
Oh my goodness. I seriously know that my alcoholism relates to a mental illness the way I forget each and every day the extent of my “disease” of alcoholism once I get too comfortable, too complacent, too bored when sober… My relapses have been getting worse and worse. Seriously, I know I have to stop complaining about AA. That is what was keeping me sober and actually genuinely happy for the only two months I just had sober. Then I got overly emotional and lazy with meetings and decided to start drinking again. Had some vodka for several days and had a horrible social experience of humiliation. Of course that didn’t stop me, I switched to wine, tons of it.. Like over two Litres a day. Thought that was working. Would start when waking up, drink it for work, be super pleasant. Then a few days ago decided to have “just a little bit of vodka” … Turned into a horrifying blackout where I wound up waking from my blackout in the back of a sheriffs car. Apparently I’d been chugging another vodka bottle in public, don’t even know how I got there. The sheriff used my phone to call my family. Believe me I’ve blacked out a tremendous amount of times. This time was so bad though, to the point I can’t even describe. Alcohol is no longer aiding my depression, just making it way worse. Today I am making my sobriety date. I need to go to AA and deal with my emotions. And quite honestly I’d rather feel the pain I am feeling right now then go through something so horrendous again because I literally lose my mind and my soul when drinking.
I have ALWAYS quit drinking by going to AA and working the program! I truly believe in what Bill W intended when he and Dr Bob began AA back in the 30′s, however I think they’d both be highly depressed to see what once was an honest and GOOD approach from alcoholics sincerely helping other alcoholics. Unfortunately, AA has turned into a place of well like HS, talking bad & spreading rumors about (sadly) newcomers, forgetting THIS is where they began as well – at the beginning. Instead the people with “time” under their belt in my opinion and the many AA clubs I’ve attended for help, they’ve become arrogant, and rude where the original AA founders began working with newcomers w/ kindness & love. That’s seemed to have gone out the window & replaced w/ people who SHOULD be helping that are God-like, in their minds and don’t reach out to help the new alcoholics in need. They sit there “better than” and the worst thing and the “last straw” was the women in AA are more jealous of their men than some of the worst addicts & alcoholics out there! They have actually said “these newcomers come into AA & steal our boyfriend / husbands and were tired of it. So they treat new women in desperate need of help w/ rudeness and they ignite them and excuse me but since when did men become “objects” needing protection from “their” women? Men have brains and self restraint of their own?! Don’t they? So bottom line – why would I want anything from these women w/ years if sobriety ? They are mean, jealous, and stay in clicks ! This is awful and if Bill W could see how AA has turned out I think he’d be highly dissapointed. I’ve actually had men ignore me because their “woman” has forbid them to even look at any other women! What the ….? Men can think for themselves and to think they’re being held captive by women w/ supposed divine sobriety makes me want to run as quickly away from what used to be a life saving entity – AA. people there are sicker than any of us drinkers! And it’s a sad lot. And I want no part of it. So, I will try on my own to cut down on my drinking. Thanks, I’ve been needing to get my feelings out about AA for a long time & I finally did. Sad thing is just 15 or so years ago it wasn’t even this bad, they’ve turned into a bunch if hateful, rude, and jealous group and I find that sad for anyone out there that may need the original intent of love, unselfish help, and support it used to be and was meant to be. Shame on you AA’ers!!
Julie, maybe its just that particular group? you could move to another group, i left AA because i didnt like any of it, it was very cult-like and not family friendly, but this was my personal experience. I met lots of different types of women, some were horrible but most of them were really lovely, if you want to stay in the programme i would suggest you try a women only group or at least try a different group. Best of luck !
I have been going to AA on doctors recommendation
I find it very much like a cult, but maybe OK for a time
I just don’t get the eternal
I am an alcoholic mantra for life
the mens group i went to was run by a couple of angry old fat guys
i am going to yoga every day and the gym when i can add it to the schedule
these old guys pooh pooh any idea that exercise and discipline can displace the alcohol … but every recent scientific study says aerobic exercise and other healthy habits are the key to overcoming depression and addictions
like i am going to go to these meetings for life at the expense of time w my girlfriend or friends or normal activities ?
i read that 70% of drinkers stop heavy drinking on their own
about 5% use AA
AA would say the 70% were therefore not alcoholics
now thats cultish thinking …..
This site might help, it encourages taking a break from alcohol so you can assess your relationship with it.
Hi I found a good site that may be of help for people trying to quit alcohol, and a article that made a lot of sense to me and gives me hope I can beat alcohol, as it describes my fears about how I think I will be miserable as a non drinker, when in fact the opposite is true
And here is the site I got this article from
http://www.spiritualriver.com/
Hi James, sorry we had to edit out the big quote you made from the article, as website owners don’t tend to like being copied like that. The link is better if people want to read the article themselves.
Another thing people fear is that they don’t have things to do when they quit drinking, or if they go pub all the time, they lose thier “hobby” their way of meeting people. Well you can still go to the pub, just drink soft drinks. You can go to other places where the urge to drink is not as high, like a bowling alley, a snooker club, a gym, a library, a walk in the park, get on your bike and join a group who cycle, or go swimming, google new hobbies and you will see there is a lot of things to do in life if you replace drinking with something else. You just need to rewire your brain to stop thinking about alcohol.
Sorry for the typo above, In the first line, I want to correct it as I feel it’s important.
*For people who feel alone, like they are fighting this battle against drink on their own, and feel like they can’t do it.*
For people who feel alone, like they are fighting this battle against drink on theor won and feel like they can’t do it. Ask God, Jesus, to help you . Every morning and every night when you go to bed, pray for help to beat the drink, say to God, I can’t do this alone, I need your help. And he will help you. Then you got to believe that you have that help, it makes a big difference to know you’ve got someone a lot stronger than you fighting in your corner to help you. This is how I gave up smoking and drinking. And it was easier than I thought it would be.
I was one of those people who would quit for a few weeks, then go staright back to the alcohol or nicotene, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it, for years I tried and failed. And I was in a bad way drinking so much I couldn’t get out of bed most days, I was a lost cause until I asked God, Jesus for help. Every day, until I was free. And then one day I was out, about 3 months after I gave up drinking and smoking, and I realised just how much happier I was, how much more peaceful I was, no more pain, no more fear, no more anxiety, and how much healthier I felt. It was the moment I knew I was free from this slavery of drinking and smoking. And I put it all down to God helping me. With help like that, you can’t fail, as lonfg as you believe and keep asking for that help until you are free.
Hi Folks, new to sobriety. Does anyone have anything positive to share about being sober? I love reading these posts but would love to hear more about life after alcoholism…thanks !
Well the only positive thing I can tell you is, you’re not alone in trying to quit drinking, I think most people wish they could stop, I don’t know anyone in my family who doesn’t suffer horrible hangovers and feels rough for nearly a week after a heavy night on the beer. Giving up drinking, is as easy or as hard as you make it in your own mind. It can be easy if you just say I can do this, and I am not going to care what other people think about me giving up drinking. You can still go to pubs and bars and drink lemonade, coke, anything. You still get to socialise, and have a good time, all that’s missing is the posion that is slowly destroying your life, it’s win win.
The main thing to tackle when giving up something like alcohol or nicotene is fear. People need to focus their energy on beating them, it’s a battle, and you got to fight. But the main thing is to not be afraid, replace the thing you want to give up with something else that’s good for you, or you enjoy. It can be done. And if you fail, try again. I have failed, but I’ve got back up the next day and tried again, never stop trying. You can do it.
Maybe you’ve explored this site already but if you go to the page for Control Cravings, there are a couple of people who post (Mags and Dean) who have been sober for close to 2 years and they mention some of the benefits of sobriety in their posts.
Hello,
SO I hit 8 weeks today, it hasn’t been easy, but the last 10 days have been tougher, I heard there is some people hit a wall at around 6 to 8 weeks, has anyone experiences this?. I have yet to go to meetings, is it possible to beat this problem without attending AA? I hope I can continue because the alternative is not good. Here is a nice quote by Paulo Coelho: Close some doors today, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere.
Hello Paul,
Yes, it is can be hard at 8 weeks. I can tell you that if you can get to 90 days you will hardly have any cravings. Yes, you can do his without AA. I have been in AA for 8 years. I have a friend who has been sober 16 years and never went to AA. My old sponsor stopped going to the rooms because they were depressing her and she has 14 years. I stopped going to the rooms because I kept hearing the same thing over and over and I got what I had to get from the rooms.
But, having a support group is important if you need one…. and you can find really great meetings too.
I found out that I have pyroluria, a lot of alcoholics have it. It is an inner tension and we drink to quiet this down. It’s a genetic issue with the brain holding on to b6 and zinc, there is a simple urine test you can buy and do from home. The b6 wasn’t working on it’s own until I added folic acid – the mthfr kind. Folic acid is needed for b6 to work.
I don’t crave alcohol like I used to, I’d say the cravings have reduced by 75%. I still drink but I find that after one or two I am fine and I don’t slip into a whole bottle.
Still might cut out drinking completely because it makes me isolate. It’s like a friend – I don’t need people – when I have my glass of wine and a good movie – it’s kind of sad. I don’t even call people back.
I get annoyed by all my friends who can drink and still wake up with Kids at 5am and then jog and seem to not be affected by the bottles they drink! Why me?
Alcohol makes me tired, forgetful and depressed.
I just started the b6 & Zinc and they said it takes 3 months to work but it has been helping me after just a week. I use b6 drops and zinc with carnosine. I take it 3 times a day. I got a urine kit for my boyfriend and I hope he has it to so we can both stop drinking together!
hi you are doing so well.i cant wait till i can say i havnt drunk any alcohol for eight weeks.i want to say that i am very impressed you must be feeling so proud of yourself.please keep it up.i am hoping to start very soon, i dont want to drink any alcohol,cos i dont like the taste i dont see the point unless you drink alot and you feel something or nothing.i dont have energy and i look old.i feel ashamed and guilty.thats enough isnt it? oh and i feel dishonest b,cos i hide how much i drink and so im hiding who i am.pls keep it up.bye for now helen
hello every one im here for two reasons mine own n my fiancees i really never knew thst i had a problem before i got with him. we live in a dry county but there ks a vfw n a couple other places that have licsense to sell so anyways i never realized i had i problem until i pointed out his after tellin him i didnt like how he talked tome when he drank i suggested he slow down and of course he got defensive said even if he did have a problem he wasnt ready to quit. so i started researching things i could do not sayin another word to him abt. its then when i realised i have a problem of my own. ima binge drinker. i can go long periods than drink til im sick. i have not said anything to him especially now since he came to me for help he says he does want to at least cut back i feel really bad cause something i brought up as a problem is now not only mine but ours together thing only thing is we dont live together. so im silently working on my issue while tryin to help him with his… PLEASE WHAT DO I DO HOW CAN I HELP HIM IF IM STRUGGLING HELPING MYSELF? i am afraid that when we move in together we end up worse than we r now and my drinking will get worse
hi every one i havnt had a drink in 8 days and i dont even feel like having one , i feel i have way more life in me now , going for walks doing the washing and etc” . i have found this site very useful.
hi going to the doctor this evening read your post its like binge drinking every couple of weeks the taught is in my head every day to drink and i hate it.
Hi folks,
Just found this site and have been reading through the comments with a mixture of deep hope and also fear.
Have been drinking heavily since my (heavy drinking) sister and my husband had a sexual affair which resulted in my (already dysfunctional) family being finally shattered completely.
I am a professional and have found my ambitions thwarted by my stupid hangover/drinking mistakes on many occasions. Luckily, I avoided losing my driving license (so far) and have managed to keep my house. On 3 occasions I have been reported to Social Services for my drinking, but as I manage to function (God knows how) in terms of holding down a job and feeding/clothing my poor daughter, I have escaped losing custody of her.
I have been drinking at least 2 daily bottles of wine for 10 years. Have lost 3 relationships (2 to 3 years has been the limit they can stand). My looks were certainly better, 10 years of stressful heavy drinking have put a good stone on my figure and my skin (particularly on my face) now has red veins etc. Due to my having ‘enough’ money, I had laser treatment to reduce this, but it is expensive and doesn’t last if you continue to drink.
I cancel so many social invites/opportunities (for both my daughter and her friends and myself) because I know I will be too over the limit to either pick her up or drive myself there. Her friends’ parents are beginning to recognise, so her social circle is drying up too.
I spent a year off work (paid) with anxiety/panic attacks/depression. Received alcohol counselling for a year. I don’t think I was ready for that (have a degree in Psychology, so found it hard to distance myself).
Recently, a friend/brother in law died (he was a heavy drinker, but died of cancer). This has woken me up to how short life can be.
I haven’t had a drink since a week ago.
Doesn’t feel bad at all you know? It was a nice day yesterday. Sun was out, we went for a drive (without worrying about my license). I had ENERGY (not had that in way too long). Got the giggles and had a belly laugh with my daughter (not done that without alcohol). The money in my purse is STILL there??? (can’t remember the last time that happened either). I feel very tired in the evenings and have a hot chocolate, watch a film (and I actually remember what I watched), then I ACTUALLY do go up to my lovely bed. I no longer worry/feel ashamed each morning when my daughter wakes me up from the couch to say she is off to school – I get up (from my bed) and we actually communicate. Have noticed that she doesn’t ask me ‘are you working today?’ – perhaps that fear of coming home to a stinking slobby drunken aggressive ‘mum’ on the couch is beginning to lessen for her?
I REALLY hope that I can do this. Life is infinitely better within just 1 week. Not only for me. I did read a good book by Jason Vale … ‘Kick the drink …easily!’ which stuck in my head (although I read it a month ago) and has helped quite a bit.
Life is for living and have been slowly killing myself for too long.
Other things I am doing right now (which may or may not be helping, but I do anyway) are taking Black Cohosh tablets and Bladderwort.
I haven’t really had nightmares or nightsweats, which may be due to that?
The fear of having a seizure has now gone. It was a real fear as I witnessed it with my sister when she withdrew (but she was a whisky drinker – a litre a day).
I will try and keep you updated if this posting has helped. As yet I am unsure whether I will drink again. I don’t want to be a social leper through not drinking, but at the moment I KNOW for certain I have become one through my drinking and am happier not to drink at all.
Thanks for reading this, would appreciate your comments. Wishing you all the best of luck with your (obvious) struggles too x
I want to feel happy when open my eyes every morning. My husband died in September 2011 after developing leukemia, and quick deterioration. I have 2 beautiful dogs and a secure life but I am not happy and resort to drink every day. I now know, like you did, that things have got to change, and realize how selfish i have been.
I really like what this website is about and want to follow it. I am certain that I can control the almost painful need for alcohol.
Hi everyone
I’ve had a difficult relationship with alcohol since my late teens. Always had to drink to get drunk and oh my god! the hangovers!!
I managed to give up during my pregnancies but have had bouts of heavy drinking (vodka) when my eldest two children were growing up.
I stayed off alcohol for 3 years once but started drinking socially. Of course, I could never remember much about the evening and had killer hangovers the following day. Felt so much embarassment, wondering what I’d said and done the night before.
I can really identify with you (Hopeful). Over the last couple of years, I have regularly drunk 2 bottles of wine on a Friday and Saturday evening and can’t remember what I watched on tv on those evenings.
I have a responsible job which I love so manage to stay away from wine during the week but always spoil my weekends by feeling hungover, guilty and depressed.
I know that I want to give up drinking wine but have tried so many times and always failed.
I also want to know how you have been getting on? good i hope?
I would like to know how you’re getting on????
Hi hav just found this web site & your letter.i am only just becoming computer literate, so this is the first time I hav replied to anything hence how much yr disclosure touched me !…….I think you are doing sooooo well .my consumption is prob half as much as yrs WAS week nights prob more weekends. I decided to stop this weekend &so tonight will be my third alcohol free night ! Feeling kinda proud of myself especially as had stress to deal with Monday & Tuesday
It’s a good feeling isn’t it ! We both (plus many many more) remain hopfull
Good luck! Ps lime & soda ‘s a nice drink
hi.just read what you said in may.how are you getting on? you were very honest about things,i think thats what i find difficult because i feel ashamed of myself.im someone whos good at helping other people and i need help myslf.have you done any of the online therapy? I really hope that for the sake of yourself and your dear daughter that you are making progress and feeling better.bye for now
I have been laughing and joking about AA for almost 30 years saying “the difference between them and me is I dont have to go to silly meetings”…. I tried AA many years ago, but it was in a small town and the only attendees were two older men and it didnt fit me….. anyhoo….. I was blown away when I found these messages…I have just woken up to day 5… without a drink… yesterday was quite good and I thought wow this is ok I can do this… what’s the big deal?? right??!!! well this morning I am full of …..um…. not sure if it is physical or mental…. likely both… but I am shaking and stressed and grumpy and …. well just yuck. I have spent these 30 years living a double life…. hard working and successful (never had a day off because of a hangover what a claim to fame hey! NOT) i fake my way through day after day…. only to come home every night and reach for the bottle… I am smart.. but know I could have been smarter… I too have lost love and opportunties due to either being drunk, hungover or somewhere in between. Depressed…definately….. but always arguing yes but I am eternally optomistic so don’t worry about fixing it….. live with guilt…. yes… why do you think I drink…. is the guilt a result of my own doing? Like most of us I was a victim….so I shall head off into day 5 now ….. knowing that once again the angels have worked some magic and led me to these messages…. just to tell me I am not alone… Good luck to us all
Read Allan Carr’s book called the “Easyway” to stop drinking. Its the best $10 you ever spent and you most likely will be cured forever. The author of this article is extremely naive about alcoholism although I am sure they mean well. Drinking is not a habit. It is plain and simple “Drug Addiction”, no different than heroin, cocaine or crystal meth. In fact, it is worse than all those because it is pushed and accepted as part of our culture.
Allan Carr will show you that willpower does not work and in fact proves that it is the strongest willed people of all that are alcoholics.
Read the book. I promise it will change you forever. What do you have to lose?
Jesus just reading your post, I’m 35 and I find my self drinking alot more then I use to, I had a serious disaster in my life a few years back and find my self relying on drink ever since as I sit here I am on my 9 th cider I feel ashamed as I hav a young family. My wife seems not to mind as I’m very quiet and distance with drink on me, but I really doint want to live this way, I want to stop, I see my 5 year old look at me and I see he looks at dad and says oh he is drinking his special drink again!!!! Really hurts, as Xmas approaches I wish I could change, I worry bout my liver failing or getting mouth cancer, yet I doin know how to stop … Any suggestions???????
Hi there, just wondering how you are doing? Am thinking about giving up drinking and your story really hit home… I hope you are doing well. Xx
I have just read a few of these comments. I am 57 female, and divorced carer for my mother. Up until last week I was drinking a bottle and a half of wine every night, it had progressed from a few glasses 8 years ago. This is when life became intolerable with my alcoholic ex. He used to arrive home at any time of night and insult me and pick verbal fight with me. If he came home and I had just one glass he would raise the roof- odd eh?
Anyway, I think it was loneliness and the fact that I could now do as I liked. Apart from the fact that I have always had sleeping problems. It gradually became my sleeping medicine. I cannot afford to drink, and I was sick of my neighbours laughing because my recycle bottle box was just not big enough for my habit. So last week I went to the chemist and asked for something that would help me sleep other than wine, he gave me Nytol. I have tried it before and it didnt work, so I held out no hope. Well, it did work this time, but the sleepiness seems to drag on through the morning. Saying that, I have had no side effects from stopping drinking! I have decided that other than the odd social occasion, I would treat myself on just Saturday nights. I am so proud of myself, I bought my Saturday wine on Friday – and did not touch it.
i have struggled with alcohol for over 20 years, managed to give up for a few months last xmas, funnily enough after marriage break up. I then had ‘just the one’ and was back to my old ways before I knew it.
I have had enough of wakiing up tired, hungover, wasting days trying to recover, forgetting what I did the night before, hiding empty bottles and lying about how much I drink. Other people get by in life without consuming alcohol, in fact no one in my immediate family drinks at all so why do I.
My beautiful daughter starts school in a couple of months and although she is well cared for, I often wonder what she thinks about her mum having a glass of wine in her hand all the time, I worry that she will think it is the ‘norm’. She is my inspiration for wanting to give up alcohol.
Last night I drank the last 2 bottles of wine in the house and I am determined not to buy any more. Although I started drinking again after my last attempt I don’t really see it as failing as I did manage to go without for a few months and I felt so much better for it. I had more energy, slept better, got up earlier, was so much more productive and lost some weight.
I have a great job, nice house and a wonderful family its just this damn addiction to alcohol that I struggle to get on top of…..but I will. I am so determined that today will be a new start for me.
To everyone who is trying to move to a better way of life, all the best.
I’ve been ‘drinkfree’ for a month.. I’ve slowly watched condensation form on a partial bottle of wine. First time to witness that..
.. more like a scientific experiment.
ive been with my parner for 4 years now. hes been dependant on a drink since he was 14 years old and is now 31. he has had a hard life and has tried although i do feel he hasnt tried loads. i am engaged to him and would like another child before i get to past it but i fear that his drinking wont get any better. we did split up for a few months as the way he was with me was terrible and he has been miles better but he still drinks more on the weekends and there becoming where the arguing is worse! i could really do with some advice on how to go about things.. i love him loads but with his drink im not sure wether to throw in the towel or not please help xx
hi guys en gals. I have two cans of Stella every night, iv only just started questioning whether I have a problem because of this. every morning i wake up tired and say to myself in the shower that “tnite il not have anything”. sure enough when night comes and the kids are asleep I go to the fridge and grab a can. half of the problem is I like the taste too much, the other half is I think in my mind im telling myself that I won’t sleep if I don’t drink. iv been doing this for two years now. would you consider this as a problem?
Hello.2 cans of Stella a night is not really a massive amount, that said it is above the recommended units. Some people may scoff and say that the two cans is nothing, it is though! I would be more worried if the 2 cans become 4 and 5 cans on Friday and Saturday ( this is usually the case ). What I find helps is the NHS drink tracker app,it becomes addictive to fill in. I would recommend at least two days off alcohol a week.
Kindest regards