Is Your Drinking Just a Habit?

habitual drinking problemAlthough it may seem like ‘just a habit’, you are making a choice to have a drink each and every time. That choice involves many components – your beliefs about alcohol and yourself, your thoughts (your inner dialogue), your feelings and your behaviour.

Your wish to not drink so much (because you can recognize the negative consequences) will translate into action depending on your motivations. Partly you are motivated to have a drink because its pleasurable, it helps you relax etc, and at the same time you’re motivated not to drink because you know about all those negative consequences. So you’re in a dilemma. The strength of your different motivations will determine how easy you find it to choose not to have a drink.

Lets take an example to illustrate this – there is something happening at work which you find very stressful, so you get home feeling frustrated and edgy. You believe the stress at work is not going away soon, and perhaps you also blame yourself for some aspect of the situation. You have a belief that you can’t handle this stress well naturally, and you believe that alcohol removes it very effectively. So you want a drink. But of course you know you shouldn’t, because you’ll be hungover again tomorrow, and that will leave you feeling worse. So your inner dialogue, your thoughts, might be something like – “well I haven’t had a drink for a couple of days, so I deserve it.” or – “I just don’t want to feel stressed like this, I want this feeling to stop NOW”.

However, emotional pain and difficult feelings are a part of life, there’s no escaping them, but alcohol deals with them so effectively, that its easy to develop a reliance on it to take away all your painful feelings. In order to cut down or stop drinking therefore, you have to accept that painful feelings must be dealt with sober, just as you are. You can deal with life, but you are choosing not to experience discomfort, because it can so easily be tranquillised with alcohol.

Its a common thing to drink because you feel “I can’t cope” – but what does that actually mean? Whatever is happening in our lives, however painful it is – we get through it, we survive, and that is coping. So the belief that we can’t cope makes us give up trying, give up hope. And again, alcohol is there to take away that hopeless feeling, to take us to that dream-world where things are fluffy and safe.

To get through life being generally sober, we have to accept that painful feelings can be handled naturally. Not rubbed out, but acknowledged, truly felt. You’re stressed? So see how it feels for it to just subside naturally with time. You feel bored? So just sit with that and examine what it really means to you. What could you actually do to remedy that feeling? Again, explore it and see what needs or thoughts are associated with the feeling. Then you might realise a different solution or two, whatever they might be.

Or perhaps you just don’t think you’re a particularly valuable person? Any mistake, any difficult situation can be attributed to your own failure or lack of some quality. Again, alcohol makes you feel good about yourself, temporarily anyway. And then it bites back with a vengeance. So to an extent, the solution might also be about healing that relationship with yourself. Your beliefs about yourself can often be a sort of self-constructed fiction. That constant inner commentator is so detached from the world, in many ways. So you may believe yourself to be inadequate because that’s how you’ve been affected by life, but of course its a subjective opinion, its not a fact, just a viewpoint.

The point here is to make yourself aware of the various elements that make up your drinking habits, then you can try to solve each part, rather than just relying on will power to not drink, which as you’ve probably discovered by now, isn’t that effective.

97 Responses to “Is Your Drinking Just a Habit?”

  1. STEVIE B says:

    I think I have a problem… I drink every day… I had my Gallbladder out and had to stop drinking for 30 days as my Pancreus was also bad but it was the longest 30 days of my life… back to it… drink 4-5 IPA beers a day… is that too much? I feel amazed if I can go a day with just one beer… It does effect how I am with my kids… I don’t read to them etc if I drink just mostly put them to bed and pass out.

  2. Aaron says:

    hi i am almost 25 and have been drinking since i was about 19. when i first started drinking i just had it occasionally, but then started having a little more, then it started to go down hill, i previously had 3 brains surgeries due to epilepsy, and one affected my short term memory severely , then before i knew it i started slowly becoming stressed out( severally stressed out), losing care for myself and continued going deeper and deeper, but anyway since all of this stuff happened i started drinking a lot,and since then i pretty much almost drink a full 26er of rum each night or a ton of beer, then wake up for work at 7.45am and this has been my life style for the last roughly 5 year. But since i moved out and live by my self now i get bored and stress out some how then before i know it i am drunk and going to bed, i have tried to find hobbies to do, but stupidly i feel i am incapable of doing stuff and just give up before i even try , (also my epilepsy has continued and has gotten worse lately having grandmals seizures by myself in my apartment hitting my head on walls and having huge bruises all over) but this is my story pretty much up to date and hopefully i can find away to cure it before something bad happens. i thought i would type this out for a little relief because i normally never tell people my story or about my life

    • Leigh says:

      Aaron—I too have had 3 brain surgeries, two of which were for epilepsy, so completely empathize with you. I also share your burden of using alcohol to “help” me in whatever way it chooses. So far, this practice has not been very helpful, and yet I keep doing it.

      I wish you (and myself) luck at finding our way back to a more beneficial lifestyle.

  3. steve says:

    I am 32 now and have been drinking from age 16. It has ruined every aspect of my life, I have been in jail and even spent 5yrs in prison over alcohol. Now I am facing a divorce because I could not stop drinking. I got drunk an almost shot myself about a month ago, that scared me and I went to the doctor and got antibuse. I have not drank after getting the script and feel better to a point. I just can not get over the feeling that I will fail to have the life I want. Today is a very bad day and all I want is to drink. I still love my wife and talk to her daily. She has no faith in me and I am losing faith in myself.Honestly if I knew I would have do feel like this forever I would go outback and swing from a tree. I need hope soon or that will happen. Has anyone felt this way? and what did you do about it?

  4. Bob says:

    My gf and I drink in the afternoons most days because it’s just simply fun. We can go some days wo drinking but we don’t have the silly type of fun when we do drink.

    The stuff is so toxic but so much fun at the same time. Any advice?

  5. msdix says:

    Well all ,first time seems almost all of us are suffering,dealing,questioning the same issue. Well of course that’s
    why were on this sight.I too have asked myself every question you all have. Experienced what each one of you have though I’m a lot older than most of you and did not start my addition until later in life. ( I drank ALOT when younger as well) stopped while pregnant and while my girls were young. I beat myself up daily yet can’t resist. I’m God fearing and hold a good job caretake a family member 400 miles away from my own family.( whom also suffers from the same addiction) Which of course helps me justify my daily craving as well as beates me up every time I take a sip. I’ve tried the excersize, hobbies, even bible study. Fight wanting to go home anything but that. Though in a small town that closes down by 6 except for a bar, knowing no one and trying to fit in. Im ok with who I am just not what Im fighting daily. All to no avail the wine wins every time.
    I question the money issuit gone poof and know perhaps counciling would help. Yet I also know the judgement will only make me fall deeper….. I have a truly Blessed life,loving and supportive family, lots of talent and much to give. So why do I continue to hurt my self? Humm the truth truly hurts yet dosen’t help me change. It goes back to what we know and our comfort zones. This box helps me yet its killing me. As I sit here typing and posting my head and heart hurt. I say I’ll stop but I don’t . may we all get inner strength, find a drink that tastes and satisfies as much as alcohol satisfies. Its like choclatee, just one….who eats just one. As this Holiday season is here may we all take heart in knowing were all in it together so here is a chocolate for each and every one of us. To the New Year. One less glass and one better hour each day. Its 5:00 somewhere. before it

  6. Lita Letaoana says:

    I’m a 25 year old woman and I have bee drinking for years now. I used to drink every night back in 2009 and thenn I just stopped I now drink every weekend. From Friday to Sunday I drink a six pack on every night of the weekend. I drink indoors and seldomly go out. I drink while with my boyfriend. I sometimes don’t see it as a problem but at times I do feel guilty the Monday after the weekend not because of the drinking but because I do find it a waste of money but I still drink.

  7. S says:

    I can identify with many of the posters here, I don’t have any alchohol cravings during the day, but when evening rolls around my wife and I will both polish off a bottle of wine. We do this almost every night for about the last five years, before that we both drank but it was much more casual. We both find it relaxing and ‘adult’ time after we put the kids to bed. We both have jobs and are successful, but I am concerned about how much we are drinking.

  8. brandi says:

    Yup…. I’m in the same boat. 6-7 years now, bottle or two of merlot every single evening. Wake up feeling extremely guilty and hate myself. I have three boys and sometimes don’t remember putting them to bed at night. I have so many things I’d rather be doing with my life and with the kids but instead I just opt for the easier thing to do: drink and cook dinner. I like good meals too so drinking and cooking a yummy meal is satisfying for the moment. I usually end up eating too much as I’m cooking and I fill my belly before I can even sit to eat with kids so, as the kids are eating dinner, I might be in the bathroom puking up my over indulgence out of pure guilt (hence, another nasty habit I have) :/
    As the years go on, it’s only getting worse. I find myself stopping at the gas station and picking up a couple purse sized vodka shots to get started before I get home from work at 2,3,4 o’clock in the afternoon. I used to be able to skip drinking 1-3 days a week but cannot motivate myself to skip any anymore. My relationship with God is not growing, my relationship with my husband and kids don’t seem to be growing, all due to my silly distraction of a habit.
    Money is another problem. Most money is spent dining out (by myself), groceries and a ton of wine! Our debt is growing due to my over spending on my addiction and the weight of that on my heart is heavy. EXTREMELY heavy. I’m stuck. I wish I’ve NEVER had a drop of alcohol. Too late now. I have a lot to fix and have no idea where to start.

  9. Graham says:

    I think the alcohol is not the real problem (but certainly becomes a part of it), people just turn to it in order to help mask some other issue(s). Usually it’s down to either relationships, money, jobs, or just an unfulfilling existence in a tough world. This is certainly the case for me – i binge on a regular basis – i don’t even enjoy it and keep asking “why do i do it to myself”…but there are other issues that i either don’t feel i can control or can’t face up to sorting and so i let the demons win and turn to it again.
    It really is a vicious circle as the alcohol only serves to lower my self-esteem and my control over my emotions (as well as the physical damage!), so the problems just grow instead of me doing something about it.
    So, in my opinion, getting to the root cause of ones’ problems is the first step, but in order to take action and do something about it (step 2) you need to be clean of alcohol…hence the vicious circle. I stopped for 3 months this year and it had such a positive impact on my frame of mind and my life, but unless you can give it up for good, it only takes a night out or social occassion where you have too much and it can change your emotions and hook you in again.

    • Stacey says:

      You have just summed up my feelings in your one post
      . I am in danger of losing my job and family and nothing seems to change my behavior.

      • Graham says:

        It’s crazy isn’t it. You’d think that the threat of losing your job and even worse, your family would make you change your ways – but it doesn’t. Quite the opposite in fact – it makes you feel miserable and unhappy and so you drink more. The sad thing is that I don’t even enjoy drinking anymore – i go into it knowing full well it’s the wrong thing to do and that i’ll feel really bad the next day etc – i just do it to try and escape. The irony in that is it’s far from an escape, it’s a trap that you sink deeper into.

  10. Rebecca says:

    I can identify with a lot of the previous posts in that I’m fine all day but when evening rolls around, I really like to drink my glasses of red wine. I’m not a connoisseur, I don’t “enjoy” with a good meal, I just like to get it down me til I feel that little”ahhh”. I have probably been doing this roughly every night for roughly 25 years. I almost never get drunk and never really feel hungover. What I have noticed lately, is that I am building a tolerance to it and to achieve that”happy place”I need to drink a little more. Very often, I’m going to bed with heartburn, sweating at night and feeling slightly nauseous. Nothing serious, I know, but enough to make me rethink what I’m doing to myself.

    • Lauren says:

      Your relationship to alcohol is exactly what mine has been. I also drank red wine every evening with dinner, just to get that buzz. But I also noticed that over time I needed to have a little more to get that same buzz. Just like you, I started to notice that I didn’t feel great at night. My heart would race (from the sugar in the wine, I think), and though not hung over the next day, I’d feel kind of sluggish. I started to become concerned about what I was doing to my body, as I’m a long time runner. I had quit before for a few months but had physicians tell me it was better to not to quit entirely as it was good for a woman over 40 to have some red wine. So I started up again. I stopped having wine two weeks ago and feel so much better. I don’t like being so dependent on something that’s not healthy. I don’t crave alcohol at all. It was the same when I stopped before. I substituted tea or seven up with dinner. As soon as the late afternoon period has passed, I’m fine.

  11. M says:

    Hi everyone , I’m 21 years old and I have never drank alcohol . I’m just thinking about drinking a little bit of alcohol one day at the weekend , is it ok if I try it once ? And will it affect on me later ?

    • Luke says:

      Hi m

      Out of curiosity, I’d like to ask WHY would you be on an alcohol therapy site having never consumed alcohol?

      Sure its ok to have a couple of drinks, however, if you enjoy it enough to try it again then who knows how it may affect you later.

      Finally,If you haven’t had a drink until your 21, then why start now? Just something to consider.

      • M says:

        Hi Luke , thank you for replying . I was searching about alcohol and if it ok to drink it or not , then I saw this website . Acutely , I got surprised by the most commons here about this subject . I didn’t know that wine has a negative sides like what I have read here like getting addicted to it , can not leave it easily and other negative sides . I got surprised because I know and I see a lot of people drink wine and enjoy it. So I want to say is alcohol that bad ?

        THANK YOU

      • David says:

        Who are you to question why she is on this site, if she has concerns and is curious its up to her, you attitude to drink for a newbie is appalling.

    • Nigel says:

      I have consumed a lot of alcohol over a good many years.

      As a result I
      -have had many pointless arguments with people I liked (and some I didn’t) and I am sure lost their respect
      -been sick in many gutters
      -wasted a vast sum of money
      -had countless hangovers
      -underperformed at work
      -driven when I shouldnt have with potentially dire consequences
      -almost certainly shortened my lifespan and detrimentally affected my quality of life
      -boarded a Russian merchant ship by mistake when I was a seaman

      the list could go on but to answer your question I would, with the benefit of hindsight and a degree of learned wisdom, advise you not to ever touch a drop.

      What you have never had you will never miss-good luck and look after yourself!

  12. Caroline says:

    I’m 67 years old, have always enjoyed drinking wine but it was never a problem until 2 years ago when, in the space of a few months, I retired, my partner and then a close friend died. Then I developed a medical condition which severely limits my mobility. I am currently waiting for an operation. I’m on a lot of painkilling medication and drinking a bottle of wine a night. The problem is boredom. I do try to keep busy and have many outside interests (though they are just things to fill the time), plus a loving family. But so many things I used to love to do – exercise, walking, gardening – I can’t and I can only manage an hour of housework a day before pain stops me. On days when I have nothing organised or no-one in my family visits – I am so bored with reading, the computer, TV, that I long for the evening when I can numb the feeling that my life has lost all purpose. For a few hours I feel mellow and relaxed and get to sleep easily, though I wake early. There just doesn’t seem to be anything to look forward to except declining health as I face my old age. I might as well drink – and smoke – as they do give me feelings of pleasure

  13. Paul says:

    I have spent the last 48 hours being sober.It is boring and my anxiety/ringing in the ears are back.I think my stress response is overactive which i take mirtazapine for.My brain activity feels overactive when not drinking.

    I find i am only relaxed after a couple of beers.My worries and anxieties go away.

    Without drinking i find i am irritable and on edge.When i have one or two pints i find i am back to normal more relaxed and confident/chatty.

    Without a drink i feel like i am going to explode/shout out in rage.I have a feeling of being always stressed out.

    Is it ok to drink 1-2 pints a day as i feel more relaxed and my concentration is better.

  14. Trudy says:

    Hi I am wondering if anyone can help me. I have been on campral now for 4 days and the tiredness is nearly killing me. Not sure if it is a side effect of the tablets or is it withdrawals from wine. Aint had a drink in 6 days. Glad i found this site.

  15. leaflet says:

    I truly identify with the wanting to drink in the evening. I have no desire whatsoever to drink in the day, but something “triggers” my yearning for alcohol when I drive back home from work. The reason I am concerned about this is that I am steadily gaining weight, because when I drink I also get the munchies! I have managed to abstain completely for 3 months, felt and looked great, but went back to my old habits. I drink a bottle of wine a night. It used to be more, but I managed to cut back. I live alone, and because of my drinking I tend to keep to myself after hours, and of course this makes it difficult to meet new friends. There is just something about alcohol that takes the “edge” off, and nothing I have tried in its place has had quite the same effect. Every morning I get up, I promise myself that today I’m not going to drink, only to repeat the cycle when 5 pm comes along. Am I crazy??

    • Coffeesnob says:

      That is not crazy, it is exactly what I go through.

    • Canuck says:

      Leaflet, you’re not crazy. Cravings are powerful and so are habits. Can you find something to do that keeps you busy after 5 pm? an exercise class, volunteer work, walking home instead of driving, some change in your routine? I struggle with the same thing as you so I try not to go home until later in the evening. I make sure I don’t have any alcohol in the house, change right into pyjamas so it’s more of a hassle to go back out for booze. The hard part is just being with yourself – nothing else does have the same effect for taking the edge off – but you do get used to it. Keep busy at home. Visit this website often. You’ve shown you have enough self control to overcome this – you’ve cut back and you abstained for three months. Just remember how good that felt.

    • Karen says:

      Did I write this comment? This is exactly what I’m dealing with. When I don’t drink, I notice no withdrawal symptoms; it’s just when 5:00-6:00, time to leave the office rolls around, I head to the store for wine as I get near my home. I have a 45 minute to hour drive home; so my first glass of wine is around 6:30 – 7 pm. until the bottle or 4 pack of wine is gone. I don’t keep bottles at my home, because I’d drink more wine.

    • Danielle M says:

      I could of written this post!! I am fine by day but as soon as I’ve put my kids to bed all I can think about is wine! I drink at least 4-5 nights a week putting away a bottle of red or white and if I want more I raid the spirits cabinet. I feel hungover most days and swear I will not drink again as its ruining my life with my young children not to mention my marriage. Then kids go to bed and I’m back in the same predicament. Do I or don’t I? Wine usually wins. I hate myself for this stupid addiction.

    • Becca says:

      I have been this exact way since I got a divorce. Rarely drank while I was married( had a reason then but didn’t). I am raising a 13 year old daughter by myself & every single night for the past 3 years I stop & buy beer after work. I drink 7 days a week-at least a 6 pack or more. I hate it but I keep doing it because I feel less stressed when I have it. Never miss a day of work. I feel I’m missing out on my daughter. I just “go thru the motions” of being a mom. I want to stop this but it takes alot of will-power. The damn beer seems to always win. I think I do it out of boredom, depression & anxiety. Plus winter is depressing in itself.

  16. Nevy says:

    We all seem to have slightly different issues with alcohol. Does anyone know the substitute to it?

  17. rach says:

    Sudeep. Fatty liver goes away if u cut down. So u knw what to do :-)

  18. Ellie says:

    My addiction to alcohol ruined my marriage, family relationships, and prevented new friends to get close. I am nasty and distrusting….
    Ive dropped the ball with clients, over reacted making a scene and a fool of my self and alienated myself. I am alone. If I died tomorrow only my son and elderly mom would care. It’s almost like my bottles of wine care for me. I disappear, dont remember what I did and said and I want to quit again, but I just cant bear to be sober and look at me in the mirror.

  19. sudeep says:

    i always drink continously for 3 years and now i hv been diagnosed with fatty liver .my age is can i be cured?please help me.

  20. Jen says:

    I’ve decided I’m not going to drink tonight. Anyone wanna join me?

  21. Walter says:

    I have been drinking a bottle of rum a day for a long time.
    Lost my liscence spent time in jail.
    Was just removed from a jobsite for comming back from lunch drunk.
    I woke up this morning looked in the mirror and forced myself to admit I am an alcoholic. I decided to get a prescription for disulfiram to get back on my feet.

  22. Alex says:

    Same here. I don’t drink on Monday as I go to yoga. But the rest of the week I have anything from a bottle of wine to five beers or both! I have no desire to drink in the day even though I could as I am self employed and work from home. It is only in the evening. I don’t understand myself at all.

    • Sash says:

      Same here- desire is ONLY at end of the day, no urge before that. Can’t find any explanation online- If you find any explanation please let me know. Thanks.

      • Joe says:


        We have a close friend who is a “functioning alcoholic” basically my understanding is she can hold down a full time job, has a family and well run home etc but hits the booze once all her jobs and daily chores are done.

        It’s very sad and I wish you all the best, I think we are all guilty of drinking to much and for the wrong reasons and I urge you all to look up amazing man with an amazing story.

        Good luck


  23. Anonym says:

    I am failing college and I have started drinking because I can’t study any more. I hate college! Yet, I am up my ass in debt. I have become an alcoholic, I think, because I really feel hungry every evening. This hunger just won’t go away no matter what I eat. It’s a hunger for alcohol. My whole body is wanting it. My upper chest is hurting, my stomach is hurting until I get some drink like beer or whiskey mixed with water. I was always very short tempered and had a pretty fucking stressful life altogether. I feel like a looser and I am a looser. Cheers.

    • Ann says:

      You’re not a loser. If college wasn’t your thing find something else that is. Dont just throw away your life like that. I know its not that easy but believe in yourself.

    • Lizzie W. says:

      I spent years trying to graduate from college while I was drinking too much- I would go to work because I had to…. there were immediate consequences if I didn’t go. Class, on the other hand, I always felt I could skip and just catch up later when I wasn’t so hung over….or whatever my excuse was. If you’re far in debt and living off financial aid (I have no idea what your situation is, I’m just speculating and relating to my experiences and regrets) but I would suggest looking at what experience you can gain while working full time somewhere and just trying to move up to management or see what that would take….. See how quickly you would make or break in a world where you don’t have a degree. If what you are doing isn’t working, try something else to gain new experience and you can always go back if you want.

  24. Bree says:

    hi, i was wondering if someone able to help me to understand…. my husband doesn’t drink everyday, being that he’s a seaman, he can’t bring alcohol/beer on board. so, sometimes to a period of 1-2wks without drinking. but once he hit land, he drinks till he gets drunk. he’ll drink liquor and beer. then the next day, he’ll complains of having a headache/hangover.
    when he comes home, if there’s a bottle, not even his choice of alcohol, (complains about it) yet he’ll have 2-3 drinks plus beers. will drink everyday till the bottle runs empty. he doesn’t drink till he gets drunk, cause he knows he won’t hear the end of it…. only when he’s away. he used to drink a lot more… let’s say he’s able to drink a “fifth”, but after talking to him, telling him what alcohol does to one’s health, so he cuts down but said that i’m trying to control him. he trying to justified saying it’s not a habit and also tried to convince me that beers are not drinks, he only consider liquors are drinks. so, does he have a habit?

  25. Jen says:

    Obviously, we all did a search on the same question: how much is too much? I’m a bottle-a-day girl. I like my happy hour – I don’t drink before 4:00 and I don’t drink after 6:00. However, the fact that I can consume a bottle in these 2 hours does concern me a bit :) I eat healthy, exercise almost daily, but can’t seem to give up this “me” time. I just hope I’m not killing myself -

    • Anonym says:

      I think you are killing yourself just like I do. Drinking even once a week is a sign of addiction. I can’t go for a week without drinking some alcohol. My body asks for it like a vampire for blood.

  26. jake says:

    I used to be able to have the odd night off my one bottle of wine (and a bit) a night, but now I just cant seem to even do that. And Im scared now. I love it, but Im scared and I feel I am losing my life – whatever that was.

  27. jake says:

    I am similar to Kate. I dont understand this at all. I have no desire to drink during the day but at night, I just cant think of anything better or nicer to do..

  28. kate says:

    Hi Tash, I can assure you it is your age meaning you arenot experiencing hangovers, as I too never had hangovers at 18. Now, aged 29, if I drank 2 bottles of wine, I would get a hangover the nextday.

    I came to this page as I have developed a habit of drinking in the evening(after a busy day, or after a working day (I work 18 hours a week) but I also have my own business from home on top of my 18 hr a week job. On an at-home day, if I spend a day cleaning my house, I will tell myself (somewhere between 7 and 8 pm) that I deserve a drink.
    So… whilst I wouldn’t touch alcohol morning, noon or throughout most part of a day, I have this bell-ring in my mind after 7 pm that it would be nice to have a glass of wine, which always leads to another. I would say 2 large glasses is my typical amount, but sometimescan be more. After I have a snack before bed. Then just before bed I feel guilty and sad, so drink 2 pints of water to help my body flush out the alcohol, take a multi-vitamin, and evening primrose oil.
    I had alcohol yesterday evening, got merry but not very drunk, but woke up in the early hours feeling disgust with myself.
    I am against alcohol in the day but can’t resist it in the evening.
    It is a daily battle with myself asking myself why I do it.
    I have a twin sister and she does not drink any alcohol at all, I envy her. But then at night I don’t care, and I want a drink and usually have one.

    I took up swimming in the evenings to by-pass the route to a drink, but I only go once or twice a week as I am always creating an excuse not to go, even though I love it when I’m there.
    I wake up fine in the morning from 2 large glasses of wine, but am always cross with myself for caving in again.
    I don’t know what to do to change the habit, but I want to change it very much (during the day) but then it goes out the window at night.
    How do you help someone like that? :(

    • Nevy says:


      I have almost the same issue.

      Sunday night I have a drink or two to relax and “reward” myself for working hard over the weekend.

      Monday night I work out. Don’t desire a drink much, and rarely have one.

      Tuesday night another drink or two to relax. Always between 8:30 and 10 pm.

      Wednesday night I work out. No drinking again.

      Thursday night another drink or two to relax.

      Friday night usually a drink or two, but once in a while not, because I want to have a productive Saturday.

      Saturday night usually 4, and sometimes 5 drinks between 8:30 and 11:00 pm. Usually with my wife. She usually has 2-3 drinks then.

      Virtually every day after that I drink I am foggy, tired, and don’t like it.

      My wife and I used to drink a lot more than this, especially on weekends.

      I’m wondering what breaks the habit!

    • Canuck says:

      Kate, I could have written your post – that is my situation exactly. Except I try to go to yoga class instead of swimming to delay going home. Let me know if you figure out how to beat this evening drinking habit.

      • Wooly says:

        Hi I am the same need to drink every evening at 6 til 730 when little boy goes to bed. I can polish off a bottle of wine in that time. Went out to dinner other night and had more than that so felt awful next morning and was nearly sick. Haven’t had drink since- first time I haven’t drunk for 3 days in more than a year. Sleeping so much better. Difficulty is feel at loose end and bit bored without drink so finding other stuff to do to occupy myself.

      • Lauren says:

        I’d suggest substituting the alcohol for a nonalcoholic beverage in the evenings. I usually have diet 7-Up with a splash of pomegranate juice. Then a decaf herbal tea (for me a strong flavorful one). But whatever substitute works! I think a lot of it is the habit thing. I find that once I get past that late afternoon time, when I would usually have wine, and substitute it with other beverages, the desire I had earlier in the evening for wine goes away. I feel the best way to go about it is to just stop one day, and then take it day by day. I stopped once before for a few months, and just stopped again two weeks ago. I noticed immediately that my mind was clearer and I felt better about myself.

    • Shanna says:

      U sound just like me!! I have 2, sometimes 3 glasses a night. I usually wait till 7 or so and am in bed by 10:30. I’m never hung over, but always feel angry that I couldn’t resist temptation. I work out daily and eat a healthy diet. The only reason I really want to stop is do I can lose the last 8lbs since having my baby. She’s 2 now. I just love my wine do much!!! Uhg!n

  29. sam says:

    Hi Tash

    Your lucky that you do not get the negatives of waking up feeling depressed and drained the following day. Maybe that is due to your age of 18 and you will begin to feel the consequences with age. Even if you do not feel ill or emotionaly unwell the next day 2 bottles of wine every night at such a young age will take there toll on you eventually in one way or another.


  30. Tash Williams says:

    Ive been drinking for about 3-4 years now, i drink everyday, normaly 2 bottles of 12% wine, there cheap from shop down road, im 18 at the moment, ive had 1 day , 2 maxium off in the past year off drinking, i feel happy, and confident when i drink, i’m a musician so obviously i go down the ‘killing road’ as they say, everyone says that alcohol depresses people, yet i feel happy, i function better when i drink, i talk more, sing, thrash my guitar, whatevers needed i do, my memory is fuzzed most of the time though, but the thing i’m most confused about is why dont i feel sad? If its a deppresent, then shouldn’t i feel sad? I can take days off drinking whenever i want, but i get relaxed more, ive never been addicted to anything except my music, and my family and close friends don’t believe i’m addicted, so because i dont get the ‘negatives’, do i have a high tolerance, or something in my dna, allowing me such a lifestyle?

    • Reality says:


      I think you should spend your time analyzing why you feel the need to consume alcohol to alter your reality. If I were you I would ask myself what is wrong with your sober reality that you need to drink 2 bottles of wine a day. I suggest speaking with a therapist or a counselor.

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