Low Self Esteem
Different people have different levels of self esteem – some people think they’re wonderful, some people think they’re worthless. Whether other people would agree with either of those judgements is a different matter.
People with alcohol problems often have low self-esteem. They judge themselves negatively – not just for their addiction, but also for other parts of their behaviour or their personality.
These beliefs or views about the self may have been picked up as far back as childhood, from parents, siblings, or friends -
- “you’re not good enough to deserve that treat”,
- “you don’t measure up to our expectations”,
- “you don’t deserve love and affection”,
- “we don’t accept you for who you are”,
- “why are you so much trouble, what’s wrong with you”.
Of course such things may not have been said literally, but that may have been the message being conveyed. These messages become incorporated into our beliefs about ourselves, and affect our self esteem. As such they can be quite difficult beliefs to change.
When you have such negative thoughts about yourself, you probably won’t be very capable in dealing with life or coping with the difficult feelings that we all have. So you might then tend to turn to something which does deal with those feelings, if only temporarily. From there you can come to rely on those things – alcohol, drugs, food, whatever it might be.
Then of course, the dependent use of alcohol can further damage self esteem and reinforce those negative beliefs. “I’m an alcoholic now too – so I must be really useless then”. Alcoholism or addiction can lead to social isolation, or uncontrolled behaviour, alienating those around you and maybe removing any possible positive feedback or encouragement, making it even more difficult to improve your confidence again.
However, what often happens with friends and family, is that the issue of concern for them becomes the alcohol use itself, rather than the lack of self esteem that’s causing it in the first place.
Try our self esteem test if you’d like.
In my case, I got into alcoholism when I was 18. Self esteem wasn’t really the cause why I got into it but more on being just a drunkard. I’m now 33 and when I turned to my 30′s, Christian faith which I embraced took alcoholism out of my system. Just like what Core Self Confidence said, drinking will just make you feel sorry for yourself later on as it really influences you to be someone not you when you get controlled by it.
Today, the addiction is already cured. I get to drink sometimes when I get really really stressed to the point of breaking down. I don’t recommend doing this but for me personally, it sometimes function as a pain reliever. If you have alcohol addiction problems, I recommend that you Don’t do this ever as it will pull you back to your old ways.
If you can find ways to relieve you stress, go find something else to do. I do admit it is wrong to lean on alcohol but I use this as a last resort. Anyone out there who has other opinions? I will welcome your critic and rebuke.
Thank you Tobin – great write up!
I fell into alcoholism in my late teens to early twenties… Luckily enough something happened and I quit drinking for years and years. I would start drinking and feel sorry for myself, then drink enough so I didn’t anymore, then realize it didn’t change anything. Just a huge cycle of nonsense in retrospect.
I have had plenty of friends who had low self-esteem and followed the same suit, I always tell them to work out all the problems in their life before doing anything like drinking as it truly affects how they are acting…. Somethings NEED and should be sorted out, drinking doesn’t do that.
Peace and Love,
Vic