Beat Alcoholism with Positive Thinking
Focussing on negative thoughts as opposed to positive ones leaves you feeling depressed and unmotivated.
If you concentrate on how many mistakes you’ve made, or how you haven’t managed to stop drinking like you wanted to, maybe how you’ve ‘failed’ yourself and those around you, then of course you won’t feel good about yourself. Notice when you’re thinking these thoughts, and take control of them. Here’s where you need to make a choice to -
Concentrate on positive thoughts instead :
- What will improve in your life when you’ve cut down or stopped drinking?
- How much better will you feel?
- What improvements have you already made?
- Have you managed some slight reductions already?
- If so, what benefits have you started to notice because of that?
- Are you still essentially a good person, even though you’ve made mistakes?
The theory of ‘negative suggestion’ warns that if you focus on NOT doing something, it’s more likely that you’ll end up doing it, than if you were focussing on something else entirely. So if you find yourself thinking, “I must not drink, I must not drink” it’s a warning sign that you need to start concentrating on something else instead – distract yourself with another task, something absorbing. Just telling yourself “I mustn’t think about not drinking” is clearly still in that loop.
Likewise if you need to quit for a while, but you’re thinking, “Oh no, I’ll never be able to drink again“, then that will undoubtedly keep you focussed on the negative. Maybe you can drink again in the future; you don’t need to decide that now, focus on the present moment, and how good you feel about not drinking today.
that was a great article above, it is monday and yesterday was mothers day I had the best time of my life it was the first weekend in a very long time I was sober but I still wanted that drink even though I was happy and nothing was going wrong, I came in to work today wondering what is wrong with me and feeling like crap because of all the weekends i was so drunk to play with my son and how this weekend was so fun. i missed all them fun weekends because I was too hung over . thanks for the article it was a very good thing for a monday morning
i no exacly how u feel.things have been hard for me too.i have a loverly partner and two loverly kids you can do this,but only you can do it.theres lots of help out there ,ive very nearly lost everything.i realize now i wot i have and have been very selfish.you can stop punishing yourself!!!just try its not easy be prepared,ive been in detox and failed.but my family have suffered greatly. try not to be too hard on yourself.its never too late too get help then your little one can have his mummy back.and you can be you again .its a great feeling ive been there i just messed up.but not this time !!! i want me back an most of all normality for my family.you can do it keep trying an if at first you dont succeed try and try again .remember your not on your own.
that s what best about this site i felt so alone before, like i was the only one but now i realise i have to do something.
Do u know what s worse seeing the sadness in my husbands eyes in the morning
tee xx
I found this site yesterday and it has really strengthened my resolve. My drinking has gradually increased over the last few months so I’m cutting down.
I realised that I needed to start getting out and about doing activities that weren’t about the pub so I started Kickboxing with my son on saturdays (it’s fab – I recommend it for stress!) and this will be the first class I’m going to that I don’t have a slight hangover.
I mean, who doesn’t want a drink on a friday night? That’s what the Brits do isn’t it? You work all week then get pissed on friday night. It’s a basic human right! Well I’ve decided I like my weekends more than I like being drunk and although I still like drinking, especially out for a meal, I absolutely HATE hangovers! I have a 2 year old and the two don’t combine AT ALL.
Me and my husband went to see and outdoors film screening in a park last night and I only had one (complimentary) glass of champagne. I did think about having a glass of wine when I got in, but I thought about how I felt at kickboxing the week before (tired, couldn’t concentrate, bit wobbly, very sweaty) and then I visualised how great I would feel in the morning if I had a sober, early night. And guess what? I feel bloody marvellous – now I’m off to be a ninja.
I gave up smoking with positive thinking – it is hard to give anything up because it’s a loss. I gave up smoking because I decided to try for a baby, so I had a really exciting positive reason to stop. With drinking I’m replacing all the negative stuff with a new slimmer, fitter me. My son is 9 and has just got to the age where we can do more stuff like climbing, sailing, horseriding etc. so I’ve scheduled in weeks and weeks of really high energy activities with him. Maybe I will end up having to drag my sad ass along hungover to some, but everytime that happens I know I’ll regret it even more and want it to happen even less.
The amount I was drinking was just stopping me having fun and my new years resolution was to have more fun. For me, planning something pleasurable and exciting every free day I have helps me focus on a positive future and helps me resist that glass of wine if I’m tempted.
This is a great site and I shall definately be dipping into it as and when I need to. Thank you!
I’ve just found this site today. So much common sense here! I’m feeling really positive and intend to use all the support and help I can find.
jen
hi guys new but nervous
My girl left me a couple weeks ago due to my drinking and abusive behaviour.I am very sick right now but your positive comments and the article have helped. Thank you
This really is a great site! It gives you a feeling that you are not alone and there are plenty of threads that you can pick-up on.
I have just been looking at this site and I feel so much better knowing I am not alone.
Its been a really difficult time for me and I thought I could stop drinking without support but I cant. My boyfriend left a few days ago because of the lies I told about my drinking, ive been devastated and ashamed. I have cut down considerably but I cant seem to stop completely. I must have used every excuse in the book not to stop.
Its good to know that people out there have come out of this positively.
Yes, I to have found this site very useful. I started drinking heavily as the years have gone by. I am drinking 3-4 times a week six bottles of wine in total a week. I dislike cleaning my house therefore, I would start with a drink to overcome the pain that I had of trying to keep the house together and up to my husbands standards. It would end up with two bottles gone within a few hours. I became resentful of my husband socializing with his mates every thursday (football night combined with a late night pub drinking session) while I was left to sort out the kids, the dogs, go to work and be ever so lonely. He would never tell me that the house looked good because he doesn’t understand why he needs to. But he was very quick to tell me that it was messy when ever he wanted to. I used to be extremely outgoing I am a model and I used to work in fashion living the high life and would socialize with a lot of cool people in the past before meeting my husband 12 years ago. I manage to work part time so that there is something that I can immediately see that I am good at. Now that I have the “so ever busy household to run”, I rather stay at home and drink clean stay up and listen to music or the so ever dreadful face book. Then I go to sleep and go to work. It starts all over again the next day. I am grateful that we do have a very good life style (thanks to the hard working husband) however, I feel I am not appreciated and that my husband is never interested in my life. He hates me when I drink but although he doesn’t like me drinking he still continues to enjoy drinking every thursday night with his football mates. I feel that I am the last person in the household that anyone cares about and even the dog comes before me. At least this site is out there so that I can see a more positive side to quitting this circle of destruction. I go from shopoholic to Alchoholic every few months just because I yearn for some quality attention. My husband hates me for spending too much money on credit cards and he hates me drinking. And he has asked me to leave many time. I know he doesn’t really mean it and he wants me to change but I wish he could change as well. I am tired of trying to please every one and I don’t get the emotional support I need back. I am going to find more time for myself to control this dreaded habit and cycle I want to feel positive and happy all the time without being under the influence.
hi all. i have decided to do something but scared that by tonight i will feel normal once my hangover has lifted and open the wine. i caved in last night and ended up driving to the co-op for booze. the problem is my partner is the same. we are both becoming alkies and its just so terrifying. if i could sustain this feeling i haver right now of self-loathing and a strong desire to stop then i think i would do, problem is i end up going home and feeling better and telling myself that there’s nothign wrong with a glass as its friday night and end up downing a bottle and a half and the cycle starts all over again.. i drink too much for sure and i am scared of even writing it down, here goes; probably drink 5 nights a week which means probably 6 bottles a week.. i have read Allen Carr’s book and it really inspired to me but then all the good work goes to waste as my 7pm I succumb. if anyone has any ideas on conquering this awful cycle then please let me know. thanks for reading x
Hi there. I am sitting here, wanting to cry so embarrassed I feel, and don’t forget hung over. I can’t seem to stop drinking when I start. I drink so much I pass out and do stuff I cant remember. I am really a good person when I don’t drink. When I am sober I will never do the things I do when I am drunk. Never. Last night I was at a meeting with my director and his friends, I was so drunk I vomited in the bathroom and this morning woke up naked next to my boss. I can’t even remember how it started. This is not the first time it happened. I have slept with so many guys when I was drunk. I’m throwing away my soul. I no I have a rejection problem and I want to feel wanted, this is strange cause I’m also a model and can easily get a great man. I sleep with all types of guys, the worst is that I will never sleep with a man when I’m sober. Only with my long term boyfriend. I feel so disgusted in myself, so heavy disappointed, cause I’m a mom and what will I do if my daughter does the same one day. I know you cant blame alcohol but I usually black out, and hear the stories from friends and colleges. I have decided to stop completely. I have seen when I try to drink only a few I end up drinking too much, I even go sip out of the alcohol bottles in the kitchen without anyone seeing so that they don’t see me. I don’t drink every night, but when I do I really get out of hand, and I am only 24. Please pray for me that I can stop.
Hi there. YOU CAN GET BETTER. Your honesty in your note is heart warming and shows u really do want to get better. I omitted to say that in my early 20s I was the same and although my drinking hasn’t no doubt increased my behaviour whilst pissed has changed as I’m too old to go out on the razz so tend to do my drinking at home in private. But it does have knock on effect as when I drink socially with workfriends I’m totally off rails so I avoid it (I cannot share too much but involves coming on to the women aswell which deeply ashames me. The point is, you’re not alone. I think we do it to feel loved and perhaps can’t do itimacy when sober. You’re still very young so you can sort this. Keep reading and coming bk here. I’ve found it so helpful. I’ve not drunk anything for 3 days now. Feel great just wonder what to do when boredom sets in. Keep coming bk and let me know how u get on x
I am a binge drinker and so I try to keep to beer otherwise I would be in even more serious trouble than I am now. I drink about 6 cans of beer or more every evening for about 10 days and then I become disgusted with myself and depressed and promise myself that I will go off alcohol for a long time. However after about 1 week of abstinence I become confident of my drinking abilities and fool myself into thinking that I can just have 1 or 2 beers one evening and stop there … but then I find that I am unable to stop and the same cycle just repeats itself. However talking to people here makes me feel better and what I intend doing (after studying my booze intake diary that I have been keeping for 6 weeks now) is to start psyching myself up and preparing myself from around the 7th day of abstinence as that is around the time that any small upset, boredom, matter or joy causes me to start binge drinking again.
I am the same as Chrissy. I drink a bottle of wine every night. I try and select the lower alcohol ones like prosecco or cava at no more than 12% but still… I am 37 years old and have always been a heavy drinker. If i go out, I drink more and often dont remember coming home. I can no longer live with the anxiety that I get each day after a drink ( which is not there if I dont have a drink or have less than normal). I have today contacted a counsellor and have booked myself into a private clinic to have a medical assessment to help me alleviate the constant worry of how I am damaging myself. Hopefully a two pronged attack and telephone counselling will help me to bring myself in line.
Hi rosie. How did the appointment go with the counsellor? I too booked one (didn’t tell anyone) and went and realised I’m way over the safe limit (like 4 times over). So instead of spurring me on, it sent me to the extreme where I drunk bottle a half every night for 4 nites. Then I felt awful so am on day 3 now. Been heere before tho. Really wanna stop for good. Its my lifestyle/partner. To stop do I have to give up them?
Hi everyone. I identify with some many of these comments.
My idea is simple but worked for me (maybe not everyone who knows). I got to drinking every night,It was always tomorrow I MIGHT not drink.One day it came to me TONIGHT is the night I don’t have to drink.I was warm and comfortable.Then it gets easier.But I do slip.Recently I had a small drink in the morning without a hangover for the hell of it before work.It’s a crazy addiction.I went to AA,I prayed.I feel for you all.Don’t be a victim.You can do it.
Yol,
Your note touched me for it is so similar to my story. How are you doing?
This site has made me feel much better. I also go mad when I drink, and have embarassed myself in front of colleagues, cheated on boyfriends, been mean to my family or boyfriends.. I dont drink every day or anything like that, but I can never just have a couple either, and will always get wasted when I go out. I want to be able to drink moderately so that I can still have a good social life and enjoy myself with out screwing up in some way when out. Ive lost alot of boyfriends because of the cheating when drunk etc. Im a totally different person when Im sober and right now I feel like a loser than I cant just go out and enjoy myself without going overboard and doing something stupid. I also have started drinking at home which I never used to do. I dont want to go down that road. Its nice to know that other people are out there too.
Just found this site. I’m on my 3rd serious try at sobriety. Have not had a drink for 3 weeks now. Some days better than others but have got good support from my GP and addiction worker. You have to be pro active, help yourself. Have attended AA meetings in past but don’t feel they’re for me but would not dismiss them if i was really struggling because there are some wonderful people there. I know for me now that it is all or nothing. I am 43, have a 12 year old, a lovely partner and a good job (just). Drink is just not worth losing all this for. Keep positive everyone.
i just wanted to say thanks for sharing. it helps to know i am just human instead the lowest form of life on the planet like I feel. And by this point the demon has ravaged my body so I have sooo little strength when i have to fight my hardest. After whiteknuckling it for all day, I finally gave in because the tremors just suck! It’a like living inside a nightmare hell. No rest for the weary I am sipping wine slowly now , trying to wean myself so to lessen the withdrawl. Yep, I hit bottom so my body needs it to feel “normal” my poor body doesn’t even know this is NOT normal. But i still wonder if I am just dancing with the devil. i have been on the web all day and read about Allen Carr’s book and ordered it. God, i hope it can do what it says. Does anyone have experience with it that they want to share?
I would luv to be able to say IM NOT MISSING ANYTHING
I sure won’t miss this
Stumbled across this site by chance, I’ve known for quite a while that I had a drink problem, but always remained in denial of the fact, until in destroyed the best relationship that I ever had. Admitting to my problem to her she has promised to see me thro this, so the first thing I would suggest is DONT alienate those that you care for, Husbands, Wives, Children or partners, I know how quickly you can lose friends with this addiction, people that are close to you are so important to recovery.
When I finally gained courage to visit my GP and admit to my self in front of him that “I have a problem” things started rolling. I was prescribed a Prozac derivative called ‘FLUOXETINE’ to pull me up from the depression and self loathing I was feeling, this helped greatly, this was to be combined with an appointment with a group called ‘Turning Point’
I had my first meeting with them yesterday, and they were great. However they have suggested that after medical consultation I might consider taking ‘ANTABUSE’ and knowing that this was prescribed to Vietnam Vets and still is to this day as well as to our British Troops im not so sure as it seems a pretty risky medication if abused.
Turning Point have made it clear that I am under no obligation to take this drug, which is geared to avoidance of alcohol for fear of the consequence!
I think what I am trying to say is that you guys have admitted to yourself that, like me, you have a problem. My own personal experience is dont keep it to yourself, confide in those, and admit to those that you care for.
Hello my name is sam, i am 12 years old, and i am gay, and an alchoholic. Please help me recover from these dark and ominous times. Please help!
I became a binge drinker after trying to stop heavy daily drinking where I was always a bit drunk but never unaware of what was going on around me. Since I started bingeing, mainly to drink as much as I can and as quickly as possible secretly, things have become very difficult; I lost my driving license and my job within 2 days of each other. I had hypnotherapy and stopped altogether for about 9 months and recently started again to see if stopping had helped; I pretty much failed completely and have spent most of the last month an a bender somwehere. I wondered if anyone had found a reliable way to limit drinking or whether when you’ve ‘crossed the line’ your drinking days are truly over?
I have taken Kudzu for example but after about a day of drinking forget to take anyway.
This is a wonderful subject that goes into the very core of the concept of being successful and happy. Positive thinking is positive information that can takes us wherever we want to be. Our possibilities are endless if we turn off our fears and doubts and start thinking constructively. We need to visualize our dreams and they will come true.
I have just stumbled accross this website and can’t explain how it feels to be in the same boat as others.
I have been drinking for 4-5 years at every opportunity and really try to stop it.
My way of dealing with it at the moment is to run out of money on purpose so I can’t buy the poison.
I am waiting for cognative theoropy which cant come to soon.
I have lost my partner of 7 years and little boy partly because of lieing over drinking.
There is nothing worse than lieing to yourself!..Beleive me I know
For the past 6 years, I have struggled with alcohol. I don’t wake up feeling like I need a drink, so I never faced up to the fact that that doesn’t mean I don’t have a problem with it. I have nights where I don’t rememeber anything. At uni, this was the norm and it wasn’t unusual behaviour- everyone seemed to be doing it… but I would act so stupidly, the next day I would still hit major depression and hatred of myself. I would have good nights out where I feel I can handle the drink, I’d come home with good stories and everything feels alright. then the next night I would have one (or more) drinks too many and I’d turn into a completely different often horrible horrible person. I have alienated many friends but have always couselled myself that they mustnt have been real friends to start with. I’ve pushed them away because I feel too guilty to be around them. I hate who I become when i have too many drinks and the worst thing is I don’t remember so I can’t stop myself when i go too far. Every year on my birthday I resolve to be more sensible around drink, “another new year, I will act better, i will be better” and then when I fail at this I feel even worse. This year, 2010, I was doing really well… i would watch what I would drink. But a few weeks ago, I went out with an old friend of mine- who likes vodka- and i was drinking heavily but having a good time… next thing I know I wake up with bruises over my knees, elbow, sore head and it felt like i had broken my thumb (i hadnt but it was really sore) and I didn’t remember a thing. So i stopped drinking. I hated myself for what had happened, for not remembering, for drinking too much. I was ok for 2 weeks, but then i went out with another friend, having a good time and I really thought I was doing ok with drink, only having a few pints. Next thing i know I wake up and my boyf tells me i acted like a complete idiot, I turned into a complete b*tch. I cried in his arms and he forgave me. But I fell into a saddness again and have tried to pick myself up again. I feel more resolved now to kick this. I don’t want to drink anymore but i am really scared of failing myself again. For 6 years, I have kidded myself I don’t have issues with drink, that I can just hav a few and I am fine. Which some of the time I am… but i can’t risk losing what I have in my life and pushing more people away. How can I make myself strong enough to live life without drink? The whole world is drinking, I see people drinking on tv, in the pub next door and i think to myself, how can they be ok and I can’t? Why do I have to act like I do? My boyf said he can’t trust me when I drink… I think if i fail again, he will leave me and I really will not be able to deal with that. I need to feel stronger in myself.
feeling much more positive about everything now. the past has happened- ther is nothing you can do about the past.
but the future is upto me and it’s upto you as well.
I’m not going to make alcohol the demon in my life controlling me. anymore.
Go CJ ;O)