Tobin Hunt

There’s been a lot of media attention on Mindfulness lately, but not so much on how useful it is for dealing with an alcohol problem. So how does mindfulness help us deal with mental health problems generally, and with alcohol issues specifically?

There is very little research into how it achieves its effects, however my own mindfulness practice leads me to believe that one of the main mechanisms by which it is helpful is the development of an ‘observer view’ on your own mental processes.

This observer view occurs largely as a result of focusing on clearing the mind and concentrating on the breath. When the mind inevitably wanders off this focus, a key part of mindfulness is to notice that you have started thinking about something, then calmly return to focusing on the breath again. It’s the ‘noticing’ what the mind is doing that is helpful I believe. From that we can learn to observe our own thoughts more generally, when we’re going about the rest of our day, not practicing mindfulness necessarily. If we can be more aware of when patterns shift in our inner landscape, it can only be a good thing. If we therefore become more self aware, rather than reacting automatically to our thoughts, we can have more choice in how we respond, in whether we have a drink, or choose something more helpful for us.

Another effect of mindfulness, or meditation as it used to be called, is in allowing the ever-active mind to take a break. To just perceive and be aware, without any labeling or inner commentary on what’s happening, even if it’s only for a few seconds at a time. A pause for breath, in both a figurative and literal sense. This allows certain neurons to rest and re-balance their associated neurotransmitters (the chemicals which our brain cells require to communicate with each other). If this allows us to de-stress, or for the mind to cope with stress more effectively, then again we can be less likely to reach for alcohol.

If you are drinking as a reaction to anxiety or worry, you can easily see how having a moment to step away from those concerns could be very calming, and potentially help to avoid the urge to calm yourself with a drink instead.

Many people are put off the idea of mindfulness practice because they believe it requires long sessions of sitting cross-legged in front of a candle, chanting certain special phrases. That’s more like the traditional form of meditation, whereas modern mindfulness can be practiced for 1 minute at a time, several times during your day, even while you’re sat at your desk working perhaps. The key is to allow your mind to focus on the breath, or a pleasing view perhaps, and try to just perceive it, without discussing it in your mind. You might only be able to sustain that for a few seconds at first, but that’s fine.

There are several factors which contribute to social anxiety, and each of them needs to be addressed for the whole problem to be dealt with.

Lets look at them in turn - firstly there is your belief that other people are highly likely to reject you or judge you negatively, when in fact this is probably an overestimation on your part. People are more forgiving than you think.

So you need to test out how likely this is with some experiments. Start with a situation that’s fairly non-threatening (you’ve probably got some scarier situations you could imagine, but we don’t need to jump in at the deep end). When you’ve thought of a slightly anxiety-provoking social scenario, predict how exactly you think others will judge you, and how will they demonstrate their judgment? What evidence can you gather that they have judged you? Then conduct the experiment (expose yourself to the situation) and compare the results with what you predicted would happen. What can you conclude from this? Most likely it will be that other people aren’t quite as judgmental as you believed them to be, and that in fact it’s almost impossible to tell if they are or not – because you are not a mind-reader.

So this brings us to another aspect of social anxiety disorder - that you accept the judgments you imagine other people are making of you, and you predict that this situation will be intolerable, so much so that you want to avoid it at all costs, which is where the fear and anxiety arise. The truth of the matter is that occasionally people are judgmental, but when they are, although it’s unpleasant, it is tolerable and need not be avoided, hence some of the fear and anxiety associated with it can reduce. However, you will only fully accept this once you’ve experienced it several times without avoiding the situation.

During social interactions, you’ve probably developed several ways in which you try to reduce your anxiety, or make yourself feel safe. These range from the obvious ones (like alcohol), to the more subtle (like rehearsing what you’re going to say beforehand), or more common ones (such as pretending to look at something on your phone). These ‘safety behaviours’ are counter-productive, because they reduce the opportunities for you to learn that social situations aren’t really so threatening. What things make you feel calmer in a social situation? You believe these things ensure your safety, when in fact you’re safe without them.

Where you focus your attention is another important factor in reducing social anxiety. You probably pay close attention to the bodily symptoms of your anxiety when you experience it – you become self-conscious, and this acts as a feedback loop because you judge your own anxiety symptoms, making them seem more alarming to you, and so they get worse.

All the while, you are not focusing on the social situation, not engaging fully in the conversation, thus it becomes harder to read the cues other people are showing you, which can lead you to make further mistakes (stuttering, not understanding what someone said, forgetting their name etc.) It’s important therefore to remind yourself to focus your attention outwards, not on your body.

Evaluate the negative thoughts you’re having at the time which might contribute to your fears. Such thoughts may view the situation as catastrophic, or in ‘black or white’ terms (ignoring the grey areas), and may tend to overgeneralise - for example:

If I get anxious — then I’m a failure

If I blush — people will think I’m weak

If I stumble over a word — I’m a loser

If I act differently to other people — I must be weird

If I lose my train of thought — it shows I’m stupid

Such thoughts need to be challenged and replaced with more helpful, rational alternatives. This takes practice though, as these thoughts are quite automatic and habitual. Taking the examples above;

“If I get anxious — that’s acceptable”

“If I blush — people will feel compassion”

“If I stumble over a word — I’m normal”

“If I act differently to other people — I’m not one of the herd“

Essentially you need to learn that social situations are not as threatening as you imagine them to be, social mistakes you might make are not as catastrophic as you believe they are.

The goal is not to eradicate anxiety altogether, as that would be abnormal, but to reduce it to tolerable levels. Because actually you can learn to tolerate the discomfort that these situations create for you, and such tolerance can be improved with practice.

Anxiety is not a helpful measure of your social performance. You can feel anxious, and other people will still accept you. Imagine for a moment that you encounter someone who is obviously anxious when they are speaking to you - would you reject them and judge them negatively? No, of course not, and neither would most of the people who meet you.

Other people are not as critical towards you as you are yourself. Hence what you believe people will think about you is more likely to be a reflection of your own self-critical beliefs. And changing that is the subject of another article.

Social anxiety is a common problem, characterised by being apprehensive and nervous about potential rejection or humiliation by other people.

If you find yourself getting worried about upcoming social events, and imagining how uncomfortable they’re going to be, or how other people will notice your anxiety, then you might well get into the habit of drinking alcohol in order to calm your nerves.

You might believe that you will behave in an unacceptable way, which will result in other people making an unfavourable evaluation of you, and this feels very threatening. You might believe that people will think you are weak, crazy, stupid or boring, and as such you might find it very difficult to engage in conversation or eat a meal.

Sometimes social anxiety escalates to include a panic attack, which can then fuel further anxiety, as you become worried that another panic will occur next time you socialise.

As such you might often find yourself preoccupied with thoughts about your visible symptoms of anxiety (sweating, blushing etc.), and how other people might be viewing them. You really want to make a good impression, but you’re worried that you’re just not able to. Social phobia like this can simply be described as a fear of being embarrassed.

As such, the consumption of alcohol can become an easy solution for people finding themselves in this position - drinking quickly and easily reduces the anxious feelings, boosts confidence and aids conversation. However, many people find that they end up binge drinking, and thus embarrassing themselves in exactly the way they were hoping to avoid.

Next week, we’ll look at how this problem can be overcome.